chapter 20

We laid in silence for what seemed an eternity and yet I knew it was only a couple of minutes. His question about my broken arm dampened my mood and made me want to just get up and go back to the house. But I felt like I owed him something since he had so willingly showed me a part of his past and himself.

“It is kind of hard to talk about the things that go on in my house to someone I hardly know.” I said in a final attempt to stall for time but I knew I would end up telling him something by the end of the night.

“Then let's not talk about what goes on in your house but what goes with you. What is your favorite color?” Mathew asked and steered the conversation away from what he knew was an uncomfortable subject.

“I love the color red” I answered in a much lighter mood now that he had respected my wish to keep my house life private. His lips pursed as if he was thinking hard about something and it made me smile.

“What is your favorite flower, Animal, Music?” He asked the questions in secession seemed to be looking through his mind for more questions.

“My favorite flower is a lily and my favorite music is classical. I love all kinds of birds and couldn't really choose just one.” I answered his questions out of order but it didn't really matter. Then as if my answer had summoned it; a tree swallow flew from out of a tree and landed a few feet away from us. I was so enthralled with the majesty of the bird that I didn't notice that Mathew had gotten up.

Tree swallows were native to southern California and I had many experiences with them in my life. They were usually all gone by this time of year since it was getting cold and they migrated south. With a gentle smile on my lips, I whistled a similar tune to the tree swallow's call. Its head swirled around trying to find the source of the sound and calling an answering whistle.

“A beautifully intelligent mind to go with that beautiful body that holds it” Mathew said as he came out of some bushes with something behind his back. The tree swallow was startled by Mathew and flew away leaving only a feather to fall gently to the ground after it.

“Birds are timid creatures when they are faced with something new” I said and stood to go pick up the feather that the swallow had left behind.

“Something you have in common I guess” Mathew pointed out as he moved forward while looking to the sky as if to catch a glimpse of the swallow.

“Must be why I like them so much” I concluded while I examined the feather. I also noticed that Mathew was nervously holding something behind his back. Whatever it was, he was unsure of whether to give it to me or not.

“I have something for you” Mathew sucked in a breath after he said this and held out his hands.

I gasped as I saw what he held in his hands. They were Scarlet Gilias and in full bloom which made them all the more magnificent. Since the weather was turning colder it was hard to find any flowers in full bloom. He held at least a dozen in his hand and was waiting to hear my verdict. My throat was closed up for some reason so instead of using words to show my gratitude; I took the flowers and buried my face in their pedals.

The aroma was devastatingly majestic and seemed to envelope me in a sense of peaceful happiness. With the flowers held closely to my chest, I looked at Mathew with a soft smile of gratitude.

“They are beautiful, thank you Mathew” I said in a dreamy voice as I buried my face in the flowers once again. The only people to ever give me gifts such as flowers and chocolates were Belle and Rai.

“I was wondering of you would consider going out for a night on the town tomorrow?” Mathew asked in a timid tone and blushed ever so lightly.

“I don't know because I'm planning on going to visit the children at the local hospital. Since it's so close to Halloween I will be going more often to help get the kinds into the holiday spirit. Tomorrow I will decorate the hospital halls and rooms.” I told him as we began to walk back down the dirt road. It was probably somewhere around one or so in the morning by now and we still had to go to school.

“Well then would you mind if I came with you? I have never really done anything for someone else and I think it’s time that changes; don’t you?” he asked with a smirk adorning his face as he probably thought about what it would be like to help out at the hospital.

“It is always the right time to start helping someone else. It makes you feel like you are changing the world when you see that smile on those children. They are small angels that have been throw into a world that the hardly know and need someone to give them a smile and show them how the world ‘should’ be.” I looked down at the flowers in my hands but I wasn’t seeing them. Instead I was seeing myself and the things I had done for the children of the hospital. If I didn’t accomplish anything else in life, at least I know that I changed their lives or give them moments of happiness that they can hold dear.

“Maybe we should bring the whole gang. You, Jane, Sarah, and me that way we can get it done more efficiently and have more fun doing it” Mathew suggested with wistfulness radiating in his voice.

“I like the sound of that. Maybe we should invite everyone.” I agreed as we came to my house and stood in the shadows of the trees.

“Good, then I will talk to Jane about it. I guess this is where I say good night huh?” Mathew said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Yeah, but we will see each other tomorrow.” I reassured him as I put my hand on his cheek. It was strange for me to feel such tenderness for someone who I hardly knew. Since I met him and Jane I was changing my way of looking at life.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked as if he wanted to make sure it was true.

"Yes of course." I told him without thinking I placed a kiss on his cheek. Then before he could react, I turned and ran to the house. Once I was inside, I leaned against the door I had just closed and slid down to the floor.

"What have you done to me?" I asked to no one in particular as I leaned my head on the old oak door. Something was happening to me and I didn't know if it was a good thing or bad. But as time went on I would find out that answer. For now maybe I should just ride the waves and see where they take me.

I stood and slowly walked to my room with a small content smile on my face. This feeling of peace was really new to me and I liked it more than I ever thought I would like something. It would be a feeling I would yearn for if I ever had it taken away.

As I entered my room, I looked over to my mother's sleeping form and sighed in regret. How could I let my mother become such a broken woman? I had to do something to help her rise up into that confident, strong woman I had used as an unmoving pillar of support as a child. Now she carried another child inside her and he or she would also need a mother like I had growing so they could be strong enough to survive in this world.

A sigh of exhaustion escaped my lips as I went to my night stand to set down the flowers I still had in my hands.

“Maybe you should put them in water.” mother’s voice filled the silent air that dominated the room.

I turned around so fast that I almost got whip-lashed and had to take hold of the edge of the dresser to steady myself. My mother was out of bed and sitting at the end of the bed with a look of curiosity. The look of fear and exhaustion that was always on her face seemed to have disappeared and I could see a resemblance of the women she once was.

“I didn’t hear you get up. Are you feeling okay?” I asked as my eyes went from her face to her large stomach. Once in an effort to see her smile, I had joked that she looked as if she would be having twins instead of only one. I only managed to see a light of mirth in her eyes before John yelled and caused her to close up again.

She was already eight months and some weeks pregnant so now I was more protective of her. One night she had confessed to me that she wanted this baby to make it and that she hoped it was a boy. Now that we knew it would be a boy she says she wants to name him Adam but John hates the name with a passion that I don’t understand. Somehow I knew that it means something but I didn’t know what.

“I think you should put them in water” mother repeated herself as she rose off the bed and sort of wobbled towards the dresser.

“What do you mean?” I asked as she touched the petals of my flowers with the fingertips of her free hand. Her other hand was on her lower back in support I guessed since she was complaining of back pains recently.

“When someone gives you flowers it is important that you put them in a vase to showcase the flowers and demonstrate how much you appreciate that person’s thoughtfulness.” she said that as if reciting something that had been taught to her over and over again.

“No one gave them to me. I just went out and picked them...” I tried to lie but I knew there was no point because my mother already knew. It was strange how a mother always knows what is going on no matter what you do.

“I may be a shell of a woman now but that doesn’t mean I am ignorant or that I was born yesterday Adel.” she said as she picked up one of the flowers and examined it like she use to do when I was little and she would be buying roses for the house.

“Guess I am still a little girl after all huh?” I asked her sheepishly as I looked away from her. She was bringing out the woman I had once known as my mother and it was bringing tears to my eyes. She seemed to notice this because she put down the flower and opened her arms to me. For the first time in years I hugged my mother and cried all my problems away as she soothed me and sang me a soft lullaby. That night I went to sleep to the sound of my mother's humming as she ran her hands through my hair. Tonight I would sleep like a baby in my mother's arms with no worries in the world.