chapter 19

That night I starred up at the ceiling of my room contemplating the events of the day. It had been so long since I had had a dinner like the one at Rai and Belle's apartment. We laughed and talked about random things that had not real importance. When we were done and it was time for me to go, I did not want to leave that surreal place.

"Adel?" Mother's voice filled the silent room's atmosphere.

"Yes?" I answered her without looking at her because I knew she had her back to me.

"I have an appointment with the doctor in two days" she said in a small, timid voice.

"I'll take you right after school" I said and then the room was dominated by the ever present silence. It was hard for me to comprehend how this silence could hide the horror that happened in this house almost every day.

Tick

I was brought out of my reverie by a sound of something hitting my window. It felt like deja vu when i got out of bed and walked to my window. The night was dark and it looked ominous in the areas where the moon’s light didn’t shine. Shivers ran down my spine as i thought over who or what could be lurking in the shadows of the night.

Tick

Suddenly, something small hit the window and startled me causing me to stumble back a couple of steps. It was definitely a pebble that was thrown at my window and i knew of only one person who would have the guts to do that at this hour.

“I’ll be back. Lock the door” i said to mother as i grabbed my purple jacket off my dresser and went to give Mathew a piece of my mind.

I was fuming as i got out in the chilly night air and realized i was wearing a pair of shorts. Who in their right mind would come bother someone at 11:49 at night; make that a school night to be exact?

“What are you doing here?” i could see my breath as i reprimanded Mathew in a low but stern voice. He put down his arm that he had already gotten into position to throw another pebble. With a sheepish look on his face, he dropped the pebbles in his hand and turned to me.

“Sorry, it’s just that I wanted to see you” he said and hung his head while he dug his toe into the ground like a small child.

“Well you saw me, now I’m going in before I freeze.” I said and turned to walk back inside and put on three layers of sweat pants.

“Wait” Mathew said

I turned and crossed my arms over my chest but not out of impatience; I did it because I was cold.

“What?” I asked harshly and shivered as a breeze danced around my bare legs.
“I also came because I wanted to show you something...” he said but his voice became soft at the end.

I thought about what he was asking and shook as the breeze that had clung to my legs began to sneak into any openings that my jacket offered. There weren’t many openings but my jacket was really thin from being worn for many years. So, basically the breeze came in from all over and there was little to no boundaries to keep me warm.

It was hard to think of an answer to this peculiar request when I felt like every part of me was freezing. Mathew seemed to notice this and took off his jacket to put on my shoulders.

“Maybe we should get out of the cold before anything else” he suggested

“What? No, it’s okay, I’m fine” I didn’t want to get out of the cold because the only shelter from the wind was my house and there was no way i was going to let him in.

“Are you sure? You look real cold and you’re covered in goose bumps” he pointed out and took a step forward.

“I’m fine” I insisted and looked off into the sky trying to come up with an excuse so I could say no to him. Before I could form a sentence he came up to me and pulled me into his arms. I was shocked more than words can ever describe.

His embrace caused my body to go up in flames in a way that has never happened. The breeze could not seem to give me the chill it so desired. My voice was gone and it was a miracle that I could still breathe.

"It’s not good to try and be strong when there isn't any need for you to be. I don't care if you admit to being vulnerable to a simple thing like the cold. It doesn't make you weak actually, it only makes you human." Mathew said in the nightly silence and then became silent.

"I have to be strong to survive in this place" I didn't know why but I didn't pull away and rested my head on his shoulder. No one had held me in that way for such a long time. It had been a distant fantasy of mine to be able to be held by someone like this and let go of all the problems of life.

"Come on I'll treat you to something hot and then we can talk about what I want to show you" he said and turned towards the road without waiting for an answer.

It seemed like an automatic thing for me to fall into step beside him as he leads me in the direction of where god only knew. He didn't chase away the comfortable silence we were in with useless conversation. As we walked I began to wonder what people would think if they saw me right then. But I had stopped caring what other people thought about me when I had stopped caring all together.

"You know as hard as it seems to fathom, I have a feeling of deja vu." Mathew said as his eyes took on a faraway look as if he was looking into the past.

He didn't speak for a couple of minutes and in that time I saw glimpses of a number of emotions cross his face. It seemed that I wasn't the only one with a horror filled life. By the way his eyes filled with anger, grief, and then sadness, I could tell it was a story that had haunted him for a long time.

I was contemplating the idea of asking him what was on his mind when he suddenly took a left turn. Instead of going to a cafe or diner like I thought he would take me, he leads me to and old dirt road.

"We would walk down this road every day after school" his voice was distant as he recalled this.

It seemed he had forgotten who he was with and was taking a trip down memory lane. I would have reminded him I was here if I wasn't so curious to know more about him. I already knew that at one point in his life he had lived here.

"When the sun is in the sky it blazes all the leaves and turns the road into an endless velvet carpet" he looked around as he said this as if he could see it.

We walked down that road for some time and I was starting to miss my bed. It was dark and I couldn't see anything on the ground so I prayed that I didn't step in something. Mathew didn't say anything as we continued to walk along the road which was beginning to look like an endless path to nowhere. The trees swayed with the wind in a dance as old as time itself. A whistling came from somewhere in the woods as the breeze conversed with the leaves.

"Time seems to stop here, doesn't it?" Mathew's voice cut through the sheet of silence that had taken over the night.

"This place has a surreal feel to it" I answered him as I turned up my face to feel the cool breeze caress my face. When I thought we would keep walking in the same direction; we came to a great leaf curtain. Vines and leaves cascaded down in front of us and created a blockade for whatever laid before us.

“There was a time when I wouldn’t hesitate to cross into that hidden place but now...” his voice trailed off as he went into his own world. There was an air of melancholy that surrounded him and caused my chest to constrict as I fought back the urge to go to him. He was reliving a past that I was not a part of and I had no business interfering unless he wanted me to of course. So I just settled for sitting down on the ground in a patch of soft grass as he went through a number of flashbacks no doubt.

After a couple of minutes, he came back to earth and looked around at his surroundings as if just realizing where he was. Then he turned to me and a sheepish smile touched his face, followed by a light blush that made me want to laugh. He didn't need to be embarrassed about showing a part of himself to me like he did tonight. I padded the spot next to me and he forgot about his embarrassment as a full blown smile bloomed on his lips.

“Sorry, I didn't originally plan to bring you here,” Mathew looked up at the curtain of vines before us, “but I got to admit, it is still as peaceful and beautiful as I remember”

“I think it's perfect” there was something he hid behind that curtain but I would wait until he was ready to trust me with that secret. I laid back to look at the stars and he did the same while stealthily putting his arm under my head. A chuckle came out of me as I thought of the irony that not too long ago I wouldn't let someone so close to me.

“So...how did you break your arm again?”

And so there went my good night.