chapter 18

The night was cold as the late September breeze made itself known. I was out of a job and out of money. After leaving the Andrews’ house, I had gone to the gas station to see if I still had a job. Unfortunately, Mr. Crow was not a nice man and said I had already been replaced. That didn’t matter so much as the money I had earned working the week before but he adamantly told me that he would not pay me. We got into an argument that ended up in him threatening to call the police.

Now I was on my way to the house with a headache the size of Texas. Since John didn’t have a job I was left to bear with all the expenses of the house. We would probably be on the street before I could find another job. If John saw that future looming closer he would most likely want to put me to work in another way. A shiver of fear and disgust ran through my body as I thought of what he would make me do.

Maybe I could run away and just live as a hobo for the rest of my life. But that would just leave me worse than I already was and I would never rise above all of this. I could just walk for the rest of my life until I fell off the edge of the world. Even if that place did exist I doubt I would get far before I got tired or someone caught me. Therefore, I had no other option but to go to the house and face John. It would take some time for me to be able to find a job because of the town’s poor economy and the reputation my father had.

As I continued to walk I noticed that I was not headed towards the house but towards Rai and Belle’s apartment. What could they do for me at this moment in time? Their life was rolling along fine without my burdens to crumble it. So why was I going to them when I didn’t want to burden them with my problems. The answer seemed to hit me as soon as I set foot in the apartment complex parking lot. They were the closest thing I had to family and after seeing the Andrews family today I had a yearning for that.

“Adel, this is a surprise. Come on in” Belle said as she stepped aside and opened the door wider.

The walls of the apartment were an ocean blue with a silver trimming. The ceiling was painted so when the sun rose in the mornings it would be as if the ceiling was on fire. It was accompanied by a peach carpet that had not been changed in years. There were stains mapping the carpet in a way I was so use to.

“Sorry if I am interrupting anything” I felt a little strange as I came into the apartment. For the first time since I knew them, I was finally acknowledging that this place was a home to me.

“Don’t get all formal with us, scratch. Now go wash up, it’s time for dinner.” Rai said in a firm tone as she walked out of the kitchen.

I could smell one of Belle’s amazing dinners and already my tongue could taste the Rosemarie and cilantro that she most likely used. Belle had always made the best tasting food in the world. Whenever I came for dinner she went all out to make sure I tasted something that would make my taste buds sing. It seemed to me that she never repeated a recipe which made every dish more special.

There was flour in Rai’s hair and on her button up green shirt. Small feminine hand prints were on her shoulders hinting at what they had been doing before I got here. A smile stretched across my face as a feeling of belonging swarmed me. I did as ordered and headed towards the bathroom to wash up and give them some alone time so they could plan on finishing their ‘fun’ later.

As I walked through the small apartment, I couldn’t help but see my history in this place. There was a stain on the wall where we had had a food fight once and a small hole where Belle and I had hung a baby picture of Rai. There was a crack in the bottom of the hole from where Rai had yanked the picture off the wall. In the bathroom the ceiling had a multitude of colors from when I was younger and I had told Belle I wanted to paint. She had given me the paint cans and said to let my imagination run wild. Since I couldn’t pick a color, I used them all; Belle had laughed while Rai had tried to hide her smile.

“She hasn’t wanted to paint over your ‘master piece’ yet.” Rai said as she leaned against the door frame.

I turned to her with a smile on my face that matched hers. She has been like a parent to me since I could remember. When I moved here as a child she had lived down the street and in almost the same circumstances. In school she would talk to me when she could but she was in a higher grade. Then when her mother died she had left and I was alone for a time. Of course that was when I had met Miloh and turned into this cold girl.

Rai returned with Belle by her side only to find the little girl she had left behind was gone and in her place was this stone cold child. It had taken a while for me to treat her the same way as before because I felt betrayed by her. But then when John beat me near to death and dumped me on the side of the road, she had been the one to come for me.

“What are you thinking about, scratch?” Rai asked and stepped into the bathroom.

“The events that brought me to where I am today” I answered her wistfully and looked back at the ceiling. She understood what I was talking about and knew how I was feeling, so there were no words needed between us. Without a word, she came to me and enveloped me in her arms. I cried then in the bathroom, with her arms around me. I didn’t know what I was crying for really; all I knew was that those tears where the beginning of the crumble of the ice I had put around my heart. I was thawing out but I was afraid of what would be revealed on the other side of the ice barrier.