chapter 15

That night I sat in my room and tried desperately not to cry. He had really done a number on me and I could swear something was broken. I really hoped nothing was broken because then I would have to go see a doctor and if I went to any doctor they would ask questions; questions that I could not answer. But if I went to Candice she wouldn’t care about what happened since she already knew who had done it. That witch would probably put me in more pain before she fixed me up.

There was a great big bruise forming on my face, I could feel it. With a sigh of resignation, I got up and went to my window to see if that would distract me from the pain. Unfortunately, all that did was jostle my arm which was one of the possibly broken things so the pain only increased. Father had stomped on it when he came down the stairs and enjoyed immensely when I had cried out in pain.

Throughout the whole ordeal my mother had been cowering in the corner. Again, I don’t blame her because that was how things were in this house. She was so scared that she didn’t sleep in the same room as him anymore. Since she knew I would defend her and take anything he would throw, she slept in my room with me. It didn’t bother me to sleep with another person, especially my mother but it made me feel relaxed and comfortable. I couldn’t afford to be caught off guard by father; or anyone else for that matter. No matter how many times I was beaten and broken I was strong, alert, and in control and I liked to keep it that way.

A sudden ping at my window surprised me and brought me out of my reverie. I looked out and didn’t see anything at first but when the second ping emanated from my window, I saw a figure. In the cover of the trees that surrounded my backyard was a figure that was throwing things at my window. Who in their right mind would come to my house? We might have made it public that father was a monster but everyone who had lived here long enough knew what he was capable of. No one said anything because they were afraid of him and what he would do.

“Adel, what is it?” mother whispered from the bed

“Nothing, just go back to sleep. I’m going out for a little while,” she looked worriedly at the door as if father would barge in as soon as I left “lock the door, I have a key.” As soon as I closed the door behind me I heard my mother scurry to lock the door. Someday I would have to get her away from this place and somewhere where she could sleep without having to lock her door. Being that scared was bad for her and the baby.

Once outside I walked towards the direction I had seen the figure. Many would think I’m insane to match up to a stranger in the middle of the night. But I was already hurt, what else could they do? With every step I took I could feel my muscles complain and the bruises cry out from all the pain and work I was putting them through. Well what doesn’t kill me always makes me stronger.

“Adel?” whispered the figure

“Mathew?” I can recognize his voice anywhere. Was that normal?

“Yeah, sorry I woke you” he apologized

“It’s alright, I wasn’t asleep. What are you doing here?” I moved closer to him and he saw the bruise that dominated my face at the moment.

“My God, what happened to you? Who did this Adel?”

I chuckled when I heard the protective anger in his voice. It had been a long time since I heard that tone directed at me. If I told him it was my father, would he be stupid enough to go try and beat him? Not likely.

“I got hit by a door.” Even if that was the lamest excuse I was going to use it since that is what I use to tell the teachers when I was little. When I looked at Mathew I could see he didn’t believe me and was looking suspiciously at my house.

“Is that all that hurts?” he asked in a voice meant for a child.

I bristled and glared at him for using that tone with me.

“I’m fine. Now what are you doing here?” I put an edge to my voice as I put one hand on my hip but kept from moving the other one as much as possible. He seemed to notice that and stared at my arm as if debating on if he should say something or not. It seemed he made the right choice because he looked away with a frustrated sigh.

“I wanted to talk to you about something” he confessed

It was strange because he seemed pained to do this or say this for some reason. Maybe it was something dire or life altering.

“Talk about what Mathew?” I was a little nervous for some reason and I knew it was my instinct telling me I should just back away from him or get hurt. Normally I would listen to my instincts because they have always led me in the right direction but for some reason I didn’t want to do it now.

“It’s about the kiss I gave you the other day”

My breathing froze and I was speechless as I recalled that day. Was he going to say it was a mistake? Would he tell me it meant nothing to him? Why was I so worried about those things?

“Look its ok I…I didn’t care” my voice was small and I felt a small twinge in my chest as I said those words. It was a lie and I was coming to realize this now. I did care about that kiss and about the feelings that that kiss might mean he has for me. But then again what feelings could anyone have for the likes of me?

“I…I wanted to say I’m sorry for kissing you without your permission but I…I couldn’t help myself.” The embarrassment was evident as he said this.

“Oh…” how does one answer to that? My mind was drawing a blank as to what to say and that wasn’t normal for me, I always had something to say.

“I’m sorry if you felt I was too forward but…I like you” he blushed as he said this.

What was I to say to something like this? No guy had ever come up to me and said this. Was he just messing with my head?

“You’re wasting your time Mathew. Go find someone who cares” my voice was ice and I saw the cringe in his features. I couldn’t help it; it was how I defended myself against anything that might make me weak. Love was the weakest thing I knew existed and ‘like’ was only the beginning of love.

“I know you don’t know me but I want us to be close maybe then I’ll have a chance”

“Sorry Mathew but I don’t get close to anyone” without another word, I turned and went back inside. The look of disbelieve on his face made me think that he really was just trying to mess with me. I should have felt pleased I hadn’t fallen for his little game but instead the twinge in my chest became a small pain. It was stupid of me to have thought he was any different than the men I had met in my life. That is why we make mistakes though, to learn from them.