chapter 9

“So what happened? What did she say?” crystal slandered into class and started to tell ‘everyone’ what happened. I just slid into my seat next to zee and just barely noticed Ulrich sitting on zee’s other side. It startled me to see him there, but I soon recovered. Needing to let my anger and frustration out, I took out my journal.

          “Ok ladies please quiet down…” slowly I blocked out everyone and everything but my pencil and paper. Lines appeared and merged together at places. Images were created and transformed into art under my steady hand. Many think this gift was one that I just got from birth but they don’t know how hard I have worked to get this close to a true artist. My mother was the true artist; I can still see her in the living room head bent over a sketch pad creating miracles. Then again there were times when she would have her paint brush and just let her feelings rein over her hands.

          No matter what her hands always created and recreated. My paintings are doodles compared to hers. Mother, are you finally happy now? There is a stain on my paper that I hadn’t noticed. Where did it come from? I felt something cool on my cheek and brought my hand up to find it was the remnants of a tear. Had I been crying without knowing? Placing a finger on the stain, I knew now that it was where my tear had landed.

           How many times had I cried and those tears been for not? Sighing, I close my eyes and relax so as to not let lose again. Opening my eyes I see what or better said who I had drawn. Tears rimmed my eyes once more and this time I couldn’t hold back. Standing with my head down I ran out the door before anyone could see me so weak.

          I was sitting in the courtyard under the oak tree. This has never happened before; I’ve always been able to keep my emotions locked up. What was happening to me? I wasn’t cold hearted but I also didn’t want others to see me in this kind of state.

          “It’s a beautiful day” her voice brought me out of my reverie, Rai.

          “What are you doing here? If you get caught you’ll get in trouble, you know?” she just chuckled and sat down beside me and leaned back against the tree. Sighing, I lean back as well and look up at the branches.

          “There was a time I couldn’t live without feeling a hole in my heart at being away from my family, mostly my brother.” She was slowly going back through her memories, I could tell.

          “What did you do to make it go away?” maybe there was a way to make this constant hurt go away and not let it slowly eat at me.

          “Nothing, there was nothing I could do. I just found something else to fill that hole as best I could. That’s how I ended up here I guess.” She looked down at me as if seeing me for the first. “You remind me a lot of myself, you know? Alone, I thought but we are never really alone Adel. There are people and creatures everywhere. Living things can always give us the most comfort.”

          My eyes widened at the sound of those words.

          “We are never really alone, Adel. There are people, creatures and living things all around us to give us comfort.”

          My mother had said those same exact words. Tears rimmed my eyes, as I looked at Rai. She was so much like my mother and older sister in so many ways. I needed someone here with me who understands me, because I couldn’t handle it anymore alone. A sob escaped me as I ducked my head and let go again.

          “You’re not alone anymore pumpkin.” She repeated what she had said to me that morning. I wasn’t alone anymore. Could I really believe that? She enveloped me in her arms and I didn’t flinch, it took me a while to notice.

          I had not flinched! What was happening to me? Burying my face in her chest and wrapping my arms around her, I let myself bask in the warmth of another’s embrace. It had been so long since I had felt this happy and comforted.

          “Thank you” I whispered to her and thought of my mom and for the first time there was no pain.

          I went back to class to find my stuff was gone. Oh great I couldn’t have a break down because someone thinks it’s funny to take my stuff. But they would be so sorry when I found them.

          “Calm down, I have your stuff.” I turned quickly to see Ulrich holding my bag and journal. My heart did this weird skip beat thing but I chose to ignore it. Calming myself, I walked over to him.

          “Thanks” I stretch out my hand to receive my bag. He simply smiles and turns away.

          “Come on I’ll walk you to my sister’s car.” I had almost forgotten he and Rai were related. Momentarily stunned, I followed without saying anything. A minute later I came to my senses and scowled at his back, which had my bag slung on it.

          “I can carry my own things, you know?” I fastened my pace to match his as I waited for his answer.

          “I know but what kind of gentlemen would that make me to let a lady carry her own things.” I chuckled and looked around to see that mostly everyone had left. Shocked, I looked back at Ulrich; he had waited for me even after everyone had left.

          “Everyone’s gone?” I asked more than stated.

          “Yeah I know. What about it?” he gave me a side look and looked amused.

          “Well why did you wait for me? You could have just left my stuff there and gone on your way.” It was confusing to try to uncover the reason for him to have waited for me.

          “Well I could have done that, but there was this little voice inside my head that said you would’ve done the same for me and there was also my sister who told me to do it. You don’t say no to Rai” he gave me a look that told me I didn’t need to ask why.

          “I probably wouldn’t of though.” I was lying to him because I knew if I could’ve I would’ve. He only shrugged his shoulders and kept walking.

          We entered the parking lot and I saw at one end Rai’s car and a couple of feet was crystal and her gang. Groaning in irritation, I walked faster before I could lose my temper. Then I remembered I had been suspended for a month, well at least I wouldn’t see that ugly face for a while.

          “Hey! Adel!” zee called to me while waving her hand in the air. Well it looked like she had lost all shyness and her anxious and hyperactive personality had come out, it made me smile. As we approached she gave me a mischievous look only making me scowl and grab my bag from Ulrich’s grasp.

          “I’ll be in the car.” I said curtly and walked to the back door.

          “Don’t you want this?” stopping dead in my tracks, I turned to see Ulrich holding out my journal. Fear ran cold through my blood at the thought of him or anyone reading or seeing what was in there. Quickly I took it out of his hand and clutched it close to my chest.

          “I didn’t look inside” there was a hint of something in his voice but I didn’t really care to decipher it.

          “thanks” was all I could say before climbing into the back seat and trying to calm myself.

          “what did you do?” it was Rai’s voice directed at Ulrich, there was something like exasperation in it. Ulrich only shrugged and turned away towards his motorcycle.

          “its Friday so I was thinking we could all go out and hangout.” Rai said as we left school.

          “sure I’m in” zee answered and belle nodded, then I was left to answer. Should I go? Normally I would stay home and have my tea and read my time away. It was peaceful and not really all that boring but what I wouldn’t have given for this chance for a change of routine.

          “ok, sure why not” zee squealed and threw her arms around me.

          “lets go to the park tomorrow then” so I was slowly being pulled back into society, but how far could I go before I was pushed back out.

Author's Note

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