she loved.

simple poem about love.

She had a beautiful,

selfless soul.

She gave and she gave,

and asked for nothing in return.

 

She gave her laughter,

her care,

her kisses,

her love.

 

But he is hungry,

he is insatiable.

So he took and he took,

and gave nothing in return

 

He took her laughter,

her care,

her kisses,

her love.

 

He took and he took,

until she stood,

a distorted image,

of who she used to be.

Reviews

[kogomai1]

this poem was superb, when i read it, i couldn't stop thinking about.... well how many people are out there, and the futility of a perfect relationship. but at the same time this poem showed me that there is ALWAYS one more sweet girl out there, who can show me that the entire world hasn't sunk into debauchery
awsome poem, and keep writing you've got a knack
-james

[Natalie]

Wow! Thank you for your wonderful comment :) and thank you so much for stopping by!

[kogomai1]

your welcome :)

[Ian Craven]

The ending is powerful. Good job, you nailed it. I liked the parallel between the girl giving and the guy devouring.

[Sanjh]

This is sad but very powerful. There are people who give their everything for others and then there are people who just use others for their amusement.
thank you for sharing...:)

[Natalie]

Thank you for your lovely review! :)

[Sanjh]

you are welcome...:)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. It is true for many. Some folks will take and take till there is nothing left. Your description create a sad vision of being lead to heartbreak and loneliness. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Natalie]

Thank you very much for reviewing yet another one of my poems! :) I really appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoy your writing. Had the feel of real life. This is the best kind of poetry and you are welcome.

[Anaa]

This was beautiful! Wonderfully written. It's powerful and captivating. :)

[Natalie]

Hi there! Thank you so much for your comment :)

[ANTO]

Great flow here Natalie and I liked the use of the repeat to show the cause and effect - she gave her laughter - he took her laughter etc, all expanding on the line in the first stanza 'she gave and gave'.
The ending is okay but distorted doesnt go far enough to show how he reduced her to a dried husk.
Just a thought - thansk for sharing

[Natalie]

Thank you for your kind comment and your constructive comment. :)

[Kuandio]

- this one caught my attention right from the very first lines (well, the title actually). I think just about everyone can relate to what is being expressed here. I was hoping maybe for another metaphor or two, but the last stanzas are awesome.

[Natalie]

Hi Kuandio! Thank you so much for taking time to read my work! I will definitely try to incorporate more metaphors in my future poems and writing.

[vineyard]

Wonderful! Sad but wonderful. Hope she finds a real love someday.

[Natalie]

Thank you vineyard!

[Lenah Mehzabin]

She had a beautiful,
selfless soul.
She gave and she gave,
and asked for nothing in return. are the best lines and worst thing a lo of girls do and
He took and he took,
until she stood,
a distorted image,
of who she used to be. these lines are the best thing and worst power every she shud reaveal .. i mean seriously at smday u will feel dat it enough ! , very nice n smthing that relates with me so much ...

[Natalie]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Lenah Mehzabin]

welcome :)

[TheLostMind]

Wow. This one is quite powerful. The poem is simple yet meaningful.
"She gave and she gave,
and asked for nothing in return."
- This ma'am is the mark of true love. You give everything and expect nothing in return.

"He took and he took,
until she stood,
a distorted image,
of who she used to be." - sadly, there is nothing much that could have been done here. You were not wrong in giving everything and trusting him. "The hardest lesson in life is to learn which bridge to cross and which to burn". Nothing is wrong, it's just that things didn't go the way we wanted them to.

I loved this one.. Good job.. :)

[Natalie]

Thank you for your extremely kind review! :) Really glad you enjoyed it!

[TheLostMind]

You are welcome. :)