The Burberry Girl

My heart beats for the girl in the Burberry trench coat

With her milky orange rain boots

They shame my blueberry bruised sneakers

That match my crooked blue tie

She takes me back to the apricot plagued field  

That drench my childhood memories

A run down field of bittersweet fruit

That festered below my stomping bare feet

She pulls me forward, towards her plum colored lips

That attract my honeydew ones like a magnet

Then she pushes me down to the pavemented ground

With a laugh that fills my heart of liquored cherries

Although tears spilled from my eye like a bitter white wine

I forgave the Burberry girl

And no less does my heart beat for her colored look

And the way that she plays my raspberry charred heart

Author's Note

Let me know what you honestly think.

Reviews

[William Liston]

I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to express in this piece, but I love it. From the colorful descriptions to the light-hearted playfulness throughout, this was a vivid piece of writing that (because of its vagueness) will probably resonate in entirely different ways among readers. As for me, I interpreted this piece as a character with a dark past who only finds beauty in the "Burberry Girl." It seems like the speaker can only focus on the girl's outward colors as opposed to her inward beauty (or lack thereof). Or, perhaps, the colors could symbolize the girl's inward beauty ... or maybe they contrast with them ... or maybe ... (I'm just rambling now).

Anyways, I thought this was a though-provoking write. It appealed to both my emotional and intellectual sides ... a perfect blend.

- William Liston

[RannunculusBlooms]

I'm like mildly confused on the theme bUT i love how descriptive you were and i loved how in the last 2 stanzas i got a more melancholy feeling compared to the smitten feeling in the previous ones!!

[Addict With a Pen]

:) yeah this piece is one of my weirder ones, a mix of themes. Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it

[Quinn W]

I love the descriptions in this. The topic of color really brings it to life. It makes it almost three dimensional. Like William said, I'm not entirely sure what the purpose was but I interpreted it as a 'boring' boy meeting a very 'colorful' girl. To me, the colors really developed the meaning in it for me.

[barleygirl]

I love the way you use a variety of fruit colors to suggest that "natural" is somehow not quite as good as something polished & purchased in a fancy store. We all look up to these branded items at some point in our lives as if the shiny baubles are somehow better than just being our own natural selves. I hope this narrator learns that he/she really does have the more desirable possession: being able to see all the colors of life.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you for the review :) I appreciate your opinion and input, barleygirl

[Lorry]

If it weren't boxing day here and the start of the sales, I would seriously be considering going to the store and having a fruit salad for breakfast. Not only did you manage to colour your words so well in this piece, but left the reader feeling hungry too. :)
I have attempted a similar style to this in the past, that came out weak and feeling forced, but you just took a thought and let it flow and that is exactly how it reads, natural, with no additives or preservatives. Superb.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the different style :)

[Ashley]

You used a lot of colour in this poem, and there was contrast between you (Blue) and the girl(Orange). Distinct opposites. I don't entirely understand the poem, but i'm not always the best at that sort of thing.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thats okay, I don't understand it myself. I just thought it would be fun to carry a fruit theme. I see exactly what you mean by the opposite colors. It looks so messy when I give it another look. I might change some of the colors. Thank you!