The World Beyond the Rain

As children we would trace our hand along cold windows...

As children we would trace our hands along the cold windows

Of the rain spotted cars we always stayed in

Thinking nothing of it but a game to keep a raindrop at the tips

Of our small, scarless fingers

Believing the closer we watched it the longer it would stay

Being disappointed when the raindrop flies away

Never to be in the same spot again

It was something our mother would tell us to play

Distracting us from what we passed by through the window

The world beyond the rain

As she continued to shuffle through loose change

I never thought of it as a distraction from the pain

The distraction from the smell of marijuana mixed with rain

My vision never slipped from a raindrop I was holding

Because I had no reason but to play the game

One rainy day I caught you looking out past your window pane

Your eyes stopped sparkling as you finally found the truth

I searched your lonely pupils

And all I could see was so much pain

And then you started to rain

And I played the only game I’d been taught to play

I held the tear on your cheek, and you didn’t complain

We stood there awhile until your raindrop fell away

Then together we went back to watching the rain

Author's Note

Comments and reviews are greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Darian B.]

This one hits so powerfully. The lead up to the impactful lines takes most of the poem but it fits so perfectly. The last two stanzas when you say what you are getting at are merely icing on the cake. There are messages to be found in every line in a way that is profound yet not overwhelming. This has to be one of my favorites from you

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it

[Ted Kniffen]

I believe you need to change your pen name, there is nothing hopeless in this writing. This is a fine bit of family life. Maybe not everyone's life, but some of us can recognise ourselves here. Personally the sound of rain on a car roof has always been soothing. A good write.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you, I appreciate the review.

[Lorry]

You have perfectly captured a life of living in your words, that most of us would be lucky to comprehend even a partial segment of. Revolving full circle from childhood distractions to adulthood distractions and back again, with a lifetime of wonder and knowledge that cannot be taught in between. Exceptional write my friend. I can't add any more than that.

[Nina H.]

This has left me speechless. So powerful and captivating. Very well written. The last lines are incredible. Great piece!

[William Liston]

I've wanted to review this for a while, but I've yet to find words to describe how hauntingly beautiful this is. When I first read this, I was so eager to leave a review but all I could do was stare at the computer screen and think 'what do I say?'

This is easily one of the most impactful poems I've read on this site . . . there's so much meaning and beauty in this piece . . . it's almost ethereal . . . reading this was a breath-taking experience . . . very few pieces impact me in this way . . . I'm mesmerized by this . . . still can't find the right words to describe this.

- William Liston

[Chrys Marie]

Powerful and beautifully written - I didn't expect any less from you. In fact, you've exceeded my expectations once again. Each stanza tugged at my heart strings. A melancholic story yet when I reached the end, I still couldn't help but smile at your ingenuity. A masterpiece!

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!

[barleygirl]

This is intensely creative & brilliant! First, I love the childlike impressions of living in a car, being told to focus on the rain, so the young ones don't notice the ugliness beyond the pane of glass (beautiful details of playing with the raindrops). But I'm also getting another parallel meaning, which is sparked by the 6th stanza -- how we focus on the up-close day-to-day existence with another person, which can distract us from any bigger looming problems, either in the relationship or in the world at large. Either meaning is equally true-to-life & thought-provoking. In the end, I'm reminded of how my childhood family would focus on some harmless details of life, rather than seeing the tears that were on each other's cheeks becuz of the constant abuse.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you! I see what you mean by the dual meanings. The rain does not just mean the water on the window but as well the small things we want to see instead of the big troubled things we choose not to look at. Thank you for the review, I appreciate it.

[Emily]

Love the last line!
Keep it up!!

[April Showers]

This is incredibly moving. I really enjoyed the set up of the story, the game...
Very relatable because as a child I remember doing this but the heartbreaking moment came with the smell of marijuana and the ending just broke my heart again. It's sad but also a tender loving moment shared between two people. I like that it could be ANY two people. Mother/child, man/woman, friends...
I think this is just wonderful. I love it. It really reaches into our raw emotions.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you. It can be between any two people, and that's what I wanted people to see. In my eyes I see them as brother and sister, in the back of an old van, passing the time, along with the depression outside the car they sit in. I appreciate the review AS.

[William A. Wilson]

I have to say, as I was reading this piece, all I was thinking about was the rain, but when the marijuana came into play, then all I could think of was the child looking away as his mother was doing something bad. As a man who will someday in the near future, to have a son and a duaghter, this is very powerful and sad at the same time, to have to make a game of stairing off at the rain dripping on the windows, just to try to be unaware of the mother doing marijuana, even if the child does not understand what is happening. for that to even happen, story or not, has an emotional impact. This is a great read and I thank you for writing this. 100/100 from me.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.