Ocean Ripple

I watched you paint your nails, a pretty color blue...

I watch you paint your nails

A pretty color blue

Taking your time with every brush

Like an art piece of an ocean view

Starting with your ring finger

It must be superstition

Your eyes turn glassy, you finish up

Another consequence of repetition

You start to eye your fingers weird

And c**k your head a little

I watch you burst out into tears

You’ve happened to noticed a ripple

A ripple blue as the ocean’s tide

I assure you it's okay

‘You can just redo your ring finger

There’s no need to cry today’

Your tears turn into steady streams

I’d never seen this before

Before I know it we’re waist high in water

Trying to head to shore

Still crying you turn and say to me

‘Look at this mess i've created,

We need to figure out,

How the curse can be terminated’

Floating down the aisle way

The blue ‘polish-be-gone’

I reach for the bottle of poisonous blue

I give it to you, and you splash it on

The midnight tide subsides in a flash

We both fall to the floor

I look at you and through laughter I hear,

‘I don’t like polish anymore’

I look at your ocean nails

Faded and chipped away

I’ve wanted to see the beach for a while

But I never thought I would today

Author's Note

Kind of just happened

Reviews

[Chrys Marie]

I love how all your poems have a pensive feel to them even if you're just writing about the most mundane of things, like putting on nail polish. You take ordinary, everyday things and put an unearthly quality to them when you write a poem around the topic. Your writing here is just very fluid and graceful, written at a perfect pace. How you could turn something so ordinary such as nail polish painting into something poetic and beautiful amazes me to the core, an embedded adventure. I'm in awe again at another one of your works and I love it! Keep writing, you're amazing!

[Bacchus]

seems serious and silly
i like your serious eye poems better
but this is a lighter side...
oh that blue... glad it didn't hit her in the eyes
glad she's a brown eyed girl

[Gee]

Not a clue to the meaning, hidden meaning perhaps, or no meaning. Nevertheless, still enjoyed the read.

[Aks]

I was lost sumwhr else while reading the poem.. reminded me of something very close to me.
Believe me it never happens to me. Really loved it.

[William Liston]

Usually I'm not one for unmetered rhyming poetry, but in this case, the lack of meter wasn't really that distracting at all; however, I would suggest changing some of the words to make this a free-verse poem. I felt like the rhyming distracted from the emotion and flow at times.

Overall, though, I loved this piece. I like how you took such a normal incident and turned it into such a melancholic situation -- gave me chills. As I read this, I could sense an underlying sorrow -- as if there was something else that happened earlier in the day that just made everything seem so sad. It felt like both characters were so broken hearted -- not about the nail polish, but something else troubled them ... can't really explain what I'm trying to say.

Along with that, I loved your use of imagery. I like how you keep repeating the word 'ocean;' it evokes an image and it creates a sense of depth ... really gives the piece an eerie feeling. The 'ocean' image also compliments the dark tone of this poem.

I think you did very good with this poem. Perhaps my interpretation was "over-reading," but nevertheless, this evoked emotion. Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you for the review, I don't believe in such thing as over-reading. Everyone has a different take on poetry and thats the beauty of it. I thought I was going to write about this woman, having a break down over this ripple in her nail polish but It didn't 'feel' right and I felt like I needed something to distract her from her pain such as the victory of over coming her sorrow. Thats when I created this water problem, kind of weird and unexpected but I kind of liked it. I was going to make the last stanza more meaningful but I couldn't think of anything. I feel some of the same feelings as you when I read this poem. Everyone seems to suggest different meanings and interpretations, which is really inspiring to me because I can hide emotions within poetry and people notice them, making the possibilities seem endless. Thanks again for the review and advice, I always appreciate it!

[Emily]

I just love this!
Very different!
Keep on writing!!

[θεά]

This has such a dream like quality to an otherwise anecdotal and very vivid narrative poem. I like the flow and the way you evoke a wave like rhythm in the flow. Well done, and a very engrossing read this has been,
Keep writing.
Best,
M.

[Distant Reality]

Really digging this style, Your about me poem is off the chain too.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you :) About the poem in my introduction, Its actually lyrics to the song Kitchen Sink by Twenty One Pilots. Tyler Joseph is very inspiring, and I feel the say way he does about how everyone has their own purpose in life and we all just need to find it. You should check the song out, the rest of it is amazing.

[T. Edana Talbott]

Oh my gosh!! I love this! It's so magical and dreamy. I love the creative, fantasy-like tale you've made. How amazing that something as simple as blue nail polish could lead into an ocean adventure.

[AliciaB]

Very interesting. I really like the first stanza; the way in which the speaker notices every detail of the mundane act of painting nails reveals his deep affection for the subject of the poem. The symbolism of painting the ring finger first is very telling. I have to admit, you lost me for a second on the part with the ocean - it just seems to escalate so quickly. But I suppose that's the point; it demonstrates the feeling of being overwhelmed by the possibilities and implications of this relationship. (At least, that's how I interpreted it - forgive me if I'm wrong!) And I do like the way you transitioned from the nail-painting to the "ocean" through the subject crying over a "ripple" in her nail. Although it's quite abrupt, that makes sense, and it's a cool idea. Finally, the last two lines are interesting. The "beach" seems to be a metaphor for this intensely emotional (and potentially semi-hysterical) side of the subject that the speaker has never witnessed before. It's a great way to wrap up the poem. Overall, very nicely done!