Crayon Box Love

Seeing you smile

feels like a punch to my gut

Igniting a swarm of angry butterflies

The colors of their wings much like the contents

Of a crayon box 

Left in the sun for too long

Oh how much fun it would be to cover myself

From head to toe in wax

Not thinking about the consequences

The aftermath

As the wax leaves my right hand fingers stained blue

And my regretful eyes grow puffy with tears

As I try to scrub the faded colors away

My heartbeat races when I see you laugh

You throw your head back

And your dirty blond curls jump around 

Much like the crowded mosh pit

At the lip of a beloved band

During their hometown concert

Oh how much fun it would be

To laugh along side you

Not giving thought

To the dreadful, post-concert depression 

That will consume me

After the band has moved on

‘I’ll never leave you’

You say to me

And me being me, I believe you

It won’t be until the day I’m scrubbing away

And sobbing into my band shirt

That I realize your promise

Was just another way

To make me stay

Author's Note

Just something I thought of and wanted to continue.
///
Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated !

Reviews

[Chrys Marie]

My God... so many beautiful lines, I just can't pick a favorite! This was a fantastic yet emotional roller coaster ride, I felt every line resound in my heart - the last lines are simply heartbreaking. And the imagery is just brilliant. To say that I enjoyed this is an understatement because, truly, I couldn't stop thinking about this long after I read it; my mind just kept drifting back to your work! Beautiful and engaging, outstanding work.

[barleygirl]

You sent a friend request, I remembered your pen name here & now I see you haven't posted for 3 years. So going back, this is the first thing I find of yours to read & I have to say -- I sure hope you will be back to stay a while! This is great writing. Usually I hate heartbreak poems becuz they are so predictable, typical imagery, etc. Your poem is the polar opposite of that, very fresh, original, unexpected, & dripping with authenticity as if spoken in a childlike way (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Tracey~]

I love this.. very original. And colorful ;)

[Bacchus]

wonder if they write their own lyrics
or if they are just trying to sell tickets

really great metaphor played out here
that extended from the hair... into the mosh pit

maybe switch up the wax bath... i'm thinking
it'd be painful beauty routine to strip at the heart

[Lorry]

After the band moves on....Such a wonderful way of putting it. Are we the adored or the groupie? Poignant and heartfelt words, written superbly.

[Emily]

Love this!
Awesome idea for a poem!
Keep it up!!

[T. Edana Talbott]

Oh wow, I love this.

"Oh how much fun it would be to cover myself
From head to toe in wax
Not thinking about the consequences
The aftermath
As the wax leaves my right hand fingers stained blue
And my regretful eyes grow puffy with tears
As I try to scrub the faded colors away"

AMAZING LINES

[Nisreen]

So beautiful and honest
All these emotions in words
Like a crayon work of art

[...]

Pain is strong emotion. Your poem feels like throw away all garbage from the soul. Like desire to be clean and start new path. Each word have own power and together make very strong piece well done

[Darian B.]

I totally agree with AliciaB in regards to the way you carry through with the crayon box metaphor. The very thought of one person in a relationship living so much less than the other is unbearable and as much as it absolutely sucks to be in the position of unrequited love, I think this kind of relationship hurts even more. Never knowing when the other is just going to move on is terrible. I really hope this isn't what you are going through because I know how much it hurts. Great poem though, enjoy isn't really the right word for a poem like this but I felt it deeply