heart beat

Through my veins your love passes. Through my blood your love rushes. Bringing me up from the person I was to the person I could be. Oh what a shame it is that I am not who you think, who you want me to be. Oh what a shame that all I can bring you is pain. Why can’t you see that we cannot be? Why can’t you see that I am not me, not the me that you think, not the me that you need, not the me that will save you from myself.

The soul that still remains wills me to stay with you and be who I could be, wills me to let you save my tattered body and soul. But it, like you, does not understand the force that the creature I am contains. A force so dark, a force so sad. I want to run to save you but the heart that beats, beats only for you, I cannot move away from you for if I do the beating stops. The beating stops and all I have is pain. Grueling pain that surges through that heart of mine. I stay with you because I cannot face such pain.

 I stay with you because I need my heart to beat, my soul to skip. I stay with you for just a moment longer because this is a feeling I need to feel for just that moment.  I know, yes, I know, that after a moment the creature will take over. To you then I will say goodbye, to the beat of my heart I will bid a farewell and let the pain sink in and the creature feed its hungry being. Once the creature takes over, I will all but be gone and so will the beat of my heart that I longed for so long. The beat that I needed, the beat that felt so real and true.

 And at my feet you will lay, a still and lifeless form. This is a selfish act I must agree, to sacrifice your beauty and your life for a moment of pleasure, for the beat of my heart, but without that moment I am a creature with no beat and no heart, so I postpone the pain and the heart beat that will stop once you are gone. ‘Forgive me’ I say, ‘forgive me for taking away your life for a beat that will leave once life from your body vanishes. Forgive me for postponing pain that is inevitable, forgive me who I am and who I cannot be, I beg of you, forgive me’ I say these words to you as the creature starts to stir and I see a tear in your eye telling me that I am forgiven and that you will keep my heart beating till the very end.

Author's Note

just something that i came up with randomly, your comments are all very welcome =>

Reviews

[SINDE]

Not as random as you think. I think it has taken a creative form. This piece reminded me of a song I know. Sometimes we are torn souls with no choice clear of perdition. We find ourselves dragging our loved ones along in our restless longings. Heart Beat is a relevant piece and most of us can relate. Keep your pen moving Nastia. Thank you for sharing.

[Nastia]

no, thank u for reviewing and likin it.i hope my work cn help sm1 smtym