Guilt

thanks for Jess of editing it.

Guilt

Oh! Do not ask about my guilt

Leave me alone. Go! Go away

I can’t tell you

Hearing it will be sorrowful

Like a big mourn

OK! OK! You like to know?

So listen to me!

Its always on my hands

I bring pains to my heart

And pain to my soul

Author's Note

your guidance has helped me a lot thanks for all my helpers.

Reviews

[H L Rose]

I think this is really interesting read aloud. There is a lot of emotion in it.

I try to be helpful in my reviews so if I may offer some constructive criticism, the 9th line is a bit confusing grammatically. Instead of “I bring pains”, it might work better as “It brings pain”. But I’m very bad at grammar so I can’t say much.

I enjoyed reading this, and liked it a lot!

[H L Rose]

Actually after reading it again, I see how “I bring pains” may be very intentional, so if you meant for it to be that way then nevermind!

[Vishuddha]

I, too, want to know. What is it that makes you feel so guilty? What have you done and why did you do it? You must have had reasons - now reasons you doubt. It is always on my hands implies you have committed an action, not a thought, not a lie or words of betrayal. But, how can you be forgiven if we know not what to forgive?

[Arman]

thanks very much, i will struggle to make my mistakes.

[Vishuddha]

No, no! You do not want to struggle to make mistakes! You struggle to NOT make mistakes! Anyway, if you don't want to tell us what you feel about, its ok. It would just be more interesting if you did.

[Arman]

that is ok. thanks

[ROSALIND]

It lingers on my hands
It causes me discomfort
It torments my soul

Otherwise it is well put together

[Arman]

thank you. i am sorry for your pain.

[Abhilash Hegde]

The expressions are powerful, however the write needs a bit of polishing.
I'm not sure, if this line is structured the right way..
"OK! OK! You like to know?"
use of repetition is fine, but it's jarring ..
Capitals and exclamations make an impact, but it shifts the tone of the write.
May be it was intended, but worth another look.

On the contrary, the poem ends pretty nicely, it's smooth and well worded.
these ending lines:
"I bring pains to my heart
And pain to my soul"

Keep writing. Nice write, N-Arman!
This write has power, passion and emotions ...

[Arman]

thank you man!

[A.marie.speaks]

Guilt can be a burden that weighs us down but true friends and family are there to help you bear it, if you let them in. Great poem.

[Arman]

your right.
thank you.

[James]

Guilt breeds powerful emotions and sometimes we have to let them out, or they will completely consume us. But, reading your poem I want to know what is causing your guilt. You make us think you are about to reveal the secret, but then it abruptly ends.

[Arman]

hahah.
so nice.
thank you.
its just my emotions.
i cant now, but my next poems may be show it.

[Avinash]

The guilt at times we are unable to handle but at least you are beginning to let other know that you have a guilt. That is in itself is a big step.

[Arman]

thank you!

[barleygirl]

The best thing about your poem is the sense of URGENT FEELINGS . . . this comes across well, especially with the use of exclamation points (this can be done too much, but yours is just right). I like the first half better than the second half. The first half is intense, I can feel how much you do NOT want to tell about your guilt. But the second half is a bit of a letdown. I didn't really get to see exactly what your guilt is about. DETAILS make writing more vivid & full of feelings. WHAT is this guilt all about?!?!?!?! That's what we still long to know, after finishing your poem.

[Arman]

thanks. dear Bairley!
i taught
Its always on my hands
I bring pains to my heart
And pain to my soul

it will be explain my guilt, but i was wrong. thanks again for nice review.

[barleygirl]

The way you explain the last 3 lines, this could be guilt, it could be grief, it could be many similar emotions. There isn't much to make it SPECIFIC to GUILT. Guilt is usually becuz of something BAD we think we did. At least give me a glimpse of what is always on your hands. Did you kill someone? did you hurt someone? Did you walk away without explaining? Give us specifics to help us really FEEL the guilt you are agonizing about.

[Arman]

thanks for more advice. i really need to know better. this will be help me in my future poem.
i wanted to explain it that my guilt is not harm for others, or others cant help in making my actionsږ
thanks so much. i am so sorry for my mistake.

[Brian_M_G]

It's quite vague from,where I stand, but the thought behind it is lovely

[Littlelady]

Briliant poem
I cant see anything wrong with it