thunderstorms

 The rain fell violently from the sky. She was avoiding people as she shuffled through the street crowd, the night life. She quickly glances down an allyway. She looked to the puddle down the alley. A man lay at the back. Not just the flowing water running the streets, but the new addition, the warm, scarlet liquid being drained from his body. She couldnt recognize the body, but she might as well do something good today. She had time before she had to meet her boyfriend a block away. She slithered down the alley and with each step her sneakers water and who knows what else, sneaked into her shoes, making it harder to walk. She was already getting wet, she didnt really care about her socks, or how wet her feet were. She was almost at the end of the alley. What would she do when she got to the poor man? Why was she doing this? Did she think she was a doctor, could help him? She guessed it was something to do with karma, and kept walking cautiously.

"hey buddy are you oka-" she couldnt finish her sentence.

Her heart dropped to her stomach. The feeling you get when you are going downhill from the top of a roller coaster. She collapses to her knees. her jeans fall in a puddle of blood. The moon peeked out of the clouds and she could make out the face. The man's eyes were wide open, left with no feeling, no life. The beautiful blue eyes wasted on a corpse. A corpse of a beautiful man who was supposed to be a block away.

 She leaned over the love of her life. His jacket was sprawled across the wet ground, exposing his red and white shirt, his favourite white shirt, now stained with pain. Three holes in his body are left from this massacere. her tears fall on his chest and she places her head on his heart. No sound but the thunder in the sky and the car horns. She tangles her fingers in his icy hands. She sat there and cried. He meant the world to her and now he was gone. She reaches in his jacket pocket, expecting to find his wallet missing, but finds a box.

  A little black box with a red ribon to tie it closed. She gently gets rid of the ribbon and opens the box with shaking hands. Inside is a note, Lovely, I will always love you and will be honored if you would take my name, so i could call you mine forever, signed your love.

 She covers her face with her one hand, and puts the note in the pocket of her jeans with the other. Behind the note was a diamond ring, the moonlight bounced off the cut, and made it shine brighter. She dropped the box, and slipped the ring on her left hand.

"ill be yours forever" she speaks through her shaking teeth and she pulls out her phone and dials a number.

Reviews

[Raindrops on Roses]

I really liked the emotion you portrayed through the woman's point of view. There were a few sentences that were run-on and that could have been written more smoothly, but it is still a very beautiful piece.

[onceafaerietale]

ohhhh