A POWERLESS OBSERVER

Its about life before iit exams.the psychology,the mind set,the pressure.All this from a #rd person perspective

IIT exam is still 2 or 3 months away,but I can feel the pressure,not like I m the one appearing in the exam,im in final year of btech,doing internship,job confirmed. Its someone else ,my cousin.Today is sunday,11am,still in bed,heard my parents talking about my cousin,”His parent said he lies a lot.He just talks big.He is in the bottom five of the preboard examination that happened in his school.Well..your kid cant perform until you yourself teaches him in the initial phases of schooling”.

They say he lies a lot,what else can he do. So much pressure from everywhere of performing well.With parents

scolding him and expecting from him to do good. Saying,”You dont have to top the exam,or even do good.but atleast show us the zeal. Study like you really want to perform well in exam. Result is not in our hands but preparation is. What else responsibilty u hav in life.”.Indirectly saying They want results. And when result is not good,the same cycle repeats. U r not serious. Students who wants to do something have the different aura,They have that zeal,the passion to do something. And YOU DONT. Atleast show us some will.

IS it that easy to make something you dont like ur passion? Does passion comes from outside.Can you grow it inside you When some one asks u to be passionate about something?Seriously??Giving example of other kids doing good,showing newspaper about toppers saying,they studied for 10 hours a day.Thay sacrificed their social life,internet for an year. IF they can do it,why cant u?

Because im not em.

They did all this because they liked what thy r doing..everyone can not be like everyone else.What happened to “Every child is special and have there own capability” stuff.

So what is my cousin’s special capability? Idont know.I dont think even he does.He used to play chess and taekondo in school but then left them. Ithink they were more of a hobby.

So what should he do,tell his parents that he is not in studying and does not know what he is into.

What should I do.I only know one guy who did not went through this iit stuff after 12th(He is my friend).He was into Animation,so he did animation course and went to banglore.It took a bit of time find the job he likes but he has it now.He has made animation for some punjabi songs,met jazzy b,has an ALIENWARE 17X,may be worked on some animated movie.

But with just one example I cant go to anyone saying,stop pressuring others for iit. They gona ask,What else if not engg..Answer is I dont know. I was in studying so I never explored any other options. I dont know em,does not mean there are no options.

Thats the problem with most people in india.

In other countries parent tell children,”agar Engineering nai ho rhi toh kuch aur kar le.{IF U R NOT ABLE TO DO Engineering,DO SOMETHING ELSE}”.

In india,”Kuch aur nai ho rha toh Engineering kar le{If u r not able to do anything else,than do Engineering}”

Its like a by deafult thing to do after 12^th.Give iit and other exams.

When on earth so many students got into studying?!!

May be its only the clear cut option they see.

Imagine his situation,u dont go to school,only coaching classes,u r doing something u r not fond of.Parents keeps indirectly or directly pressuring u to do good in tht certain somthing u r not fond of telling your whole life depends on it. Most of the time ur family goes out to meet relatives,conversations a directed towards u,with parents saying,”We r keeping him in city,we did his dummy admission,we are sending him to the best coaching classes,He does not have any responsibility.We are doing everything we can..The rest is up to him. But he does not realize its importance.”.And then they will give a few stats supporting it.And then everyone will start telling u to study hard and all.

And then you dont perform well In the regular exams of coaching classes.And parents ask u why? What will u answer?

Do u have a logical answer to that. Will u say it was a bad day.or may be you dont understand the topic,to

which the ans will be to ask your teacher,we paid him for that. Its easy to this tell when u r not yourself a student.

To that to you will say there r a lot of topics which I dont understand.

And only if u r a student u can understand why u dont ask your every doubt.

Parents think its easy to study,like they have provided u every facility,,and u just have to study. How hard it can be.Read the books,solve the questions..

If it is so easy then why not everyone is doing that,why they r not doing em selfs.(No disrespect there)

Doing something so boring that it makes u go to sleep for over 5 hours a day when u can go to watch movie,or may be complete a tv series.hang out with friends.watch a match.but no.u hav to do this every single day,

u cant give in to to temptations. Going to coaching classes which only makes u feel like ur efforts r not working.everyone else is better than u.and than people around u telling that u r not serious enough. You need to put in more efforts.Ur life depends on it.Do good now and rest of the life will be easy.

Im damn serious about it.I study even if I dont like it.go to coaching classes.Dont watch tv and all.What the hell can I do when my brain does not find studying interesting enough to keep me awake or interested or motivated or in a good mood.

Insulting him b4 everybody,using me as an example,it hurts.If it works outs,everything will be forgotten and all this scolding will be for good,but what if it does not.

When I see his parents scolding him before everyone and and giving me as an example to be,it feels like thy r scolding me..and im one of the people responsible for him is being insulted.I have been in these situations but they were not that intense,my parents are easy going. Dad Stays out of town most of time due to work and mom does not used to know much about the these exams. I m the eldest kid in family. So it was first time for everyone. It was easy comparatively a lot easier for me.

I was into studying but was not able to do that good in iit and aieee(10k rank in iit and 21k in aieee),but I could not have done better. Im not a competitive person. Does not like to study exclusively for exams.

His father asks me to call him once every few weeks to tell him how to prepare and advice him to study hard.

I dont. I dont want one more person telling him to do something he is not fond of,studying(like most of people).I can understand his situation. Even when we meet I never talk about the exam or how the preparation is going on. Just the normal,”Whats going on..anything cool. You are preparing fine?? right”,and then we talk about movies, animes,tech. This is the place where he can be himself,a temporary escape..

I dont like when people try to take advice from me in topics like How to prepare for exams or which coaching institute is best,is coaching necessary,should they take a break after 12^th and prepare for entrance exams.

.I feel completely lost and confused.

I have been to coaching institutes,not a huge fan though. In 12^th for 1 year but dropped after 6 months,found it hard to balance schooling(7Am to 2pm) and coaching (3pm to 7pm).

Then dropped a year after 12^th ,took coaching full time.

What should I tell em,put him in a coaching institute,something that I dont believe in. Or dont put him in coaching when every one else is doing it. What is he does not qualify,i will be responsible.

Is coaching necessary? I dont feel what they taught was of any use to me in exam,i would have done the same without coaching. They teach a lot of extra high level stuff which does not comes in exam. and what does come in exam is not that high level and u get confused.May be that is just my view. If u did good after taking coaching u will say it works. It u did not,u will say It does not.

But what should I say..It worked according to everyone else,but not according to me.

All this becomes even more depressing when you include the fact that im also preparing for GATE,though I know it will just be for formality as I have 9am to 7pm intership.I too joined coaching in 6^th and 7^th sem for gate.My parents thinks I will do good in gate but now I simply tell them its not possible. But he cant.

I can relate to him.

[This article is not against parents,They are thinking about good of their kid but the way they are thinking is not that good.This article is more about the study of psychology of someone under this kind of pressure ]