Agoraphobia

I cannot hold a conversation

right now

the closet speaks but not

right now

now

The happiness I feel

It drips away

down the drain

into streams

that break apart on his face

Open

Closed

The eyelids go

All my fears are stored in a room

A tiny room

The pale green paint is chipping

and it hurts when I peel a piece off

I don’t know why

A dark shadow lives in this room

It makes the air heavy

so heavy

as I grow sleepy

the pressure stops my breathing

and I’m up

It always wins

Well the baby is not in the kettle

It’s easy to get off track

You make me sick

Right now 

Right now

Do not worry

Stop

Five paces from the stoop

My chest cavity hurts

It goes around

and eventually

it is here

right in front of me

It’s terrifying

Chips of color break off

I am colors

I am immersed 

They tell me that this is good

Immersion

What is there to learn?

Why should I be involved?