Crumbling Under a Feather

A poem about women with body image issues.

You strip naked and then
Display your protruding ribs and your gentle curves
Bask in the lust and admiration of drooling men
Glued to their MacBooks, fingers pressed to nerves

You think you are a sex symbol
Your beauty commands respect
Strong and nimble
Attention simply what you expect

But you’re wrong about your power
You’re weak, tied with a tether
A fragile, dainty flower
Crumbling under a feather

You do what they tell you to do

Tiny tits are better than sagging thighs
Body hair like buzzing flies
Cellulite
Overnight
You are a socialite

Swallow pills so hearty
Starve day after day as you become more vein
Stay up all night at parties
Prolong the pain

Hover over the toilet below
Half crying, half vomiting, hungover
Your guilty pleasures are reality shows
The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover

Love, sex and lust
Drive you to do this
Or maybe you just want trust
For someone to care instead of dismiss

The powder from the thick white sponge invades your nostrils
It is the bread, your red nail polish the wine
Vogue and Cosmo your glossy gospels
Your closet of designer shoes a shrine

Cocktail dresses and Gucci are your new burger and draught
Finding nourishment in Martinis, icy words
Why do you think this will make up for your past?
All it does is make it worse

Reviews

[Firefly]

Your use of language is excellent and the wording is very fluid. You're very good, the only flaw i found was in the structuring of the poem, other than that, it's great.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you! What did you find was wrong with the structure?

[Firefly]

There was no real rythm to it, "you do what they tell you to do" just out there on it's own. Just small things, like i said, it's great.

[Naomi Bloom]

Ok thanks. :)

[Deuces]

Whoa. That last line hit hard. It's true... sometimes we destroy ourselves in the present, trying to overcome our past hurt. It doesn't work. It just creates new demons.

Awesome.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you!

[Elizabeth Marie O'neil-..]

"Tiny tits are better than sagging thighs
Body hair like buzzing flies
Cellulite
Overnight
You are a socialite" I loved this.
This is very well done and the meaning behind it is an important one. I really enjoyed this.

Thank you for sharing! (:

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you! :)

[icelandicblue]

What a disturbing timeline you've mapped out. There is a cost in using ourselves for gain; instead looks and lives are used up.

Great poem- you may want to change vein to vain.

Again, I enjoyed this and I thought the title was fabulous.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thanks. Glad you like the title. Actually I wanted vein/vain to have a double meaning so I used vein instead of vain. I wish there was a way I could make that more obvious though.

[kayleigh woods]

its good, i like it

[Naomi Bloom]

Thanks!

[kayleigh woods]

your welcome

[Cookie]

Wow, I like this. It tells a story wonderfully and has an impact, whether people have been there or not. Good write. :)

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you! :)

[NICK ARMBRISTER]

images of beckham's size0 monster of a wife come to mind, as does the 90s life and scene. all body beautiful and me me me.

im not a fan of rhyming/verse poetry. this is a good piece tho. a photo would be a good addition to your poems. a drunk gal in a bar maybe.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thanks.

[A. H. Pinley]

You struck good balance in your word selection. Vanity, why do so many people chase it?

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you.

[DarkRainbowPie]

This poem won 1st place in my competition 'Knock My Socks Off!' for many reasons.
I cannot fault this piece of work, from the first stanza, I was in trigued by your words, by the story you were telling. It's a subject most people may feel uncomfortable discussing, but you've written this in such a way that the reader doesn't even think about that, it flows so naturally the reader is instantly drawn in and can almost feel the emotions of the girl the poem refers to. Your words are blunt, forward, and some lines are short and 'sweet', as they say; these all add to the reader's enjoyment of it. A great write, and thank you for entering it in my competition, I loved reading it. I've sent 26 read requests to this poem, it deserves more fame than it has.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you so much for your lovely review. I really appreciate the placing and your read requests. :)

[DarkRainbowPie]

No problem. :)

[beautiful dreamer]

wow this is awesome

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you. :)

[beautiful dreamer]

you are welcome!