the cell phone

the real love

the cell phone is still calm in my poor hand,

wails  like a sad orphan in the lap of pain.

Ah! I scream the other part  in which land?

Heavy minutes for my heart to sustain,

Before I see her number in the screen,

Before I switch off the hope of meeting.

I will give her a chance to be the queen

 In a world she buried her sick meaning.

Now all the numbers are the same to me

0h! let not our minds on the phone to be,

 Life is  a fleeting glimpse, so we can see.

The light of truth when death sets our souls free.

Love is for ever only to the One,

Keep close to him , warm yourself by his sun.

 

Author's Note

your opinion

Reviews

[Michelle Gent]

So intense. I could feel the angst. Beautifully done.

[jesserose99]

well Nani, I really enjoyed this, especially the ending. The ending seemed incredibly profound to me. The third line from the bottom really blows me away. Nice work all around though. I like the way it ended up making me feel.

[David Scott]

Life is busy and distracting. Yet the Sun seems to make Its presence known eve if we do not look up form our occupations.
Enjoyable read.

[fierceauthor]

Warm myslef by sun was deep,but I'm blessed to even encounter your talent!
Cell Phone is HOTTTTTTTT!!!

[Nani Mino]

do you know who is the One?

[fierceauthor]

The one is GOD.

[Nani Mino]

thanks you are very clever and talented

[KingDavid]

All, in all. It is good. It tells us about a relationship that seems to be going downhill. Well fhat was my opinion anyway. Except for a few flaws in your grammar, the poem worked out pretty well. Keep it up

[Nani Mino]

tell me where is the flaw

[KingDavid]

It's not exactly a flaw. It's more of irregular language. Don't worry, this is a really nice piece. ^^

[Nani Mino]

do you know if you master the language you can break it . thank you my friend.could you tell me some books to read to improve my writing