.

Today was not a good day. 

Today was not an okay day.

Today was a horrible day.

I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

I felt my demons starting to crawl outside of me.

I felt everything bubble inside of me.

I felt everything starting to slowly seep out of my head onto the tip of my tongue wanting to flow out of my mouth into the form of words.

i had to force myself to not say those words because that meant that all my demons have been set free.

once they are free it's hard to get them back to their home.

they won't want to be set back into their tiny box where they are allowed to cause and create any hell they choose.

it takes me having to be stronger than them and to fight back harder.

but i must confess that i don't have the strength and fight left inside of me anymore.

i am tired of always having to fight and of being stronger because of these demons.

i can't fight anymore my energy is all drained out.

I've dealt with you, my beautiful little demons for 4 years now, i can't do it anymore.

so congratulations my demons you have won and took away all the life i had left inside of me.

i'd give you a prize but you have already won everything so i must say i'm sorry i have nothing else to give.

i hope i'm your last victim i don't want anyone else to deal with you. 

i don't want anyone else to go through the silent pain i went through.

go trough all the mental battles, but mostly go through all the dark days alone with no hope and no light at the end.

i only ask i be the last victim and no one else get stuck with you.

nobody deserves to have you in their life, but i did, i did deserve to have you in my life because i never tried to be happy. 

i never tried to make an effort in anything i did.

i never tried to enjoy the good things in my life i only picked to focus on all the bad things.

i never did anything.