She came close to me and said “so you still don’t watch TV”. I fell in love again. I went with layers of protective shield around me. I thought I dated so many girls and never fell for anyone to ab kaise. But seriously when she said those words she had the exact same look when she said it the first time. The first shield that was “I won’t fall for her” was down. I smiled and she asked me to come up to her friend’s place. I was following her and that time I decided I leave as soon as possible. I really didn’t want to bring my feelings in active mode towards her. She was dating someone else and I was done with the relationships. I went up she invited me in. I got some chocolates for her. I gave them to her. She opened it and was eating it. I was trying so hard not to look at her so I was checking the apartment out. I checked the room, kitchen, fridge even bathroom. I was avoiding the eye contact. I was behaving really weird. She was sitting on the laptop and was booking a service apartment near her friends place for me so that we could spend more time. She asked me to sit next to her. I sat. Her sleepy smell cloud was again around me. The second shield that was” I can walk out whenever I want” was down. No I can’t. I can’t express it but everything was beyond my control. I could see her hands working on the keypad, I wanted to hold them for just one time. I was avoiding her eye contact, but I wanted to look in them for some time. I was fighting a battle inside me. There she put a chocolate piece in my mouth. The third shield “ nothing can touch my heart” was down. Constantly I was fighting the battle and was getting defeated in every one of them .. Now I was looking at her. She was talking so much . And I was just looking at her. I felt like these six years of separation never happened. I was feeling the exact same thing I felt when she came to my life. We booked a service apartment near her place. I shifted my luggage there. And we went to a burger joint in Bangalore. I was sitting with her and there she popped up a question. That why I asked for the pendent now. I said I won’t tell. I can’t lie on her face. I changed the topic. She again brought it up. I changed it again. I ordered a big burger and I eat burger vulgarly.( I am fond of big burgers which I eat like from the whole burger and take a large bite with cheese dripping out of my mouth) but that time I was eating sophistically and having problem eating it. She sliced the burger for me like she used to. It was almost 7 hours we were together while going back she put her hand on mine said “please tell me why you wanted the pendent now” and there another shield was down that” I won’t let her know about my feelings” there I answered the question - “ after six years and so many relationships I still have feelings for you , the feelings which I never felt for anyone and I always missed that moment when I gave that pendent to you cause that marriage was a real thing to me. I thought you obviously moved on and you won’t have that much of importance of the pendent which I have so I wanted to keep that pendent forever with me so that’s why I asked for it”. She looked at me for some seconds and then turned her ahead to the opposite side in the auto rickshaw. We kept quite till we reach her friend’s apartment. We went up I met her friend. She was really very sweet. We had fun together. Now it was time for me to go to my service apartment. When I was leaving I don’t know why I asked her I said come with me if you think its okay. (( Just wanted to spend as much time I could spend with her)). She said ok. She came with me. We were in the apartment. She was watching TV and I was watching her. And I was asking questions to myself that why she left for pune ? Why we broke up? Why we met again? Why I still love her?. We were in a very weird situation I wanted to tell her that I love her but I can’t because she was in a relationship. Now we were about to go to bed. I said I will go sleep in the next room. She said lie for some time and then go. There we talked about the past and she said she remembered those letters she wrote to me. I didn’t know she will remember them and fortunately I brought them with me I thought of giving them to her when I will leave. I said I have them do want to read them. She got all charged up and said where those letters are. I gave them to her. she started reading them so was I. and there she said it you know what aka(used my real name) after you I never loved anyone by reading these letters I could actually evaluate that I never loved anyone like this and I dated only two guys after you who were more of a friend and she further added that now she can’t love anybody like this. I assumed “me” in everyone. I didn’t say a word. After some minute silence she said “ you know what you are still in love with that girl who you met 8 years back and now she has changed and you don’t know her so how can you have feelings for an unknown person”. Actually she was not trying so that I can understand that she was a different person now and I don’t love her. But I think she was telling herself that how can this guy love a girl whom he didn’t meet for 6 years. I said “ may be you are right I am in love with that girl whom I met years back and I waited for her long very long may be still I am waiting for her and if one percent of that girl is still alive in you then loving you is worth it. I am not here to tell you that no one in this world can love you more than me so you should come back to me. I am here because I know I never loved nobody except you and I just wanted to spend more time and think about it rest of my life. After hearing that she slides in her quilt. I turned off the light and I was going to next room. And there she said the same thing which I felt that when she met me it felt like 6 years never happened. I don’t know what happened to me. I went back and I lied next her. Watching the ceiling and thinking about what if these 6 years never happened. And there she put her hand in mine. And all the shields were down. I lost every battle against me. I hold her firmly and closed my eyes . A drop of tear came out of my eye. I felt a new kind of happiness. And learnt that eyes do get wet when you are filled with happiness. I used to rub my index finger against her fingers whenever her hand was in my hand. I slide in her quilt and I hugged her. That was the most memorable part. Every hug every kiss everything was moving like a presentation in my brain. I hugged her tight and she slept in my arms. I forget every pain every lonely moment every worst part of the relationship in seconds. And again I was on the same road which leads to her. and next morning....
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