Roulette

Another of my poems that I came across..

Head in my left,

.45 in my right,

Finger on the trigger,

Threatening endless night.

 

No more pain,

No more sorrow,

No more caring,

What comes tomorrow.

 

Spun the wheel,

Shut my eyes,

Just five chances,

To stay alive.

Author's Note

feedback, please

Reviews

[Windy]

Wow, this one was short but it said all it needed to. Scary/sad type of poem but also realistic. I think you have the form, flow and rhyme down here. You most definatly painted a "painful" heartbreaking picture here. Although I found it "painful and sad" as I said, I thought it was a good write. Good work friend. ;)

[Phantom Heart]

So, I thought this poem as written well. It was gloomy, yeah, but you write strongly and have a good sense of connecting words and stanzas. You should feel lucky. You can say a lot with only writing a little. So I liked this poem and I read a few more or yours. You have potential, so you really should consider writing more, but perhaps writing a bit more on the brighter side...