evenings

I really wish that evenings had more hours in them so they lasted longer. As everything that was once running, rushing, racing through the day slows down and quietly, as if trying not to wake someone up, eases into the evening there is a peacefulness that settles over. This peacefulness seems eternal and mysterious because of the darkness that follows it. A highway during the day looks crowded and full of fumes. In the evening, it turns into a mysterious river of beautiful lights that flows into eternity. The same way, my thoughts are crowded and loud as soon as I wake up, but with evening they slow down and now it’s easier to put them on the shelves and cupboards that they all tumbled out of. When there are less of them in the way, the remaining become crystal clear and honest. I like it when my thoughts are honest with me; it makes life easier. The evening flows into night just like the highway of lights and there is only two, maybe even one thought in me. Now I can play with it, turning it around to get a better look, listening to everything it says to me until I fall asleep and my mind puts the last thought on the shelf and is now as empty and dark as the night outside my bedroom window. I sometimes get up in the middle of these beautiful nights and walk outside to sit on the porch, shivering on the steps and breathing in the fresh air. Air that is as cold and as clear as my mind without one thought it in. I sit and enjoy the emptiness inside me and around me. I am like a city full of streets, boulevards and back streets that has been desolated by thoughts and emotions.