Growing up

“I should get up,” she says.  “This bed is depressing me so more.”  “What’s the point though,” she thinks.  Feeling the need to cry,  but not being able to.  She thought growing up would be much  different. The feeling is far from the happy  endings in the fairy tales.  Becoming an adult and taking  on responsibilities is not how she thought  it would be. She didn't think it would  be so complicated to have everything  under control. She is so overwhelmed with life.  She can’t feel sadness anymore.  She got used to this horrible feeling.  She’s immune to it now.  Things aren't getting any better.  All she does is worry about tomorrow.  This time, a year ago she promised  herself she would be happy by now,  but things are so out of control.  She tries to hold on to hope,  but her thoughts betray her.  The quiet is all too deafening,  but that’s all there is now.  Quiet, loneliness, and sorrow.  “Why didn't I see it from a mile away?  How did I not see it getting worse?” she asks herself.  There she sits in solitude trying to work  out her troubles, not knowing what to do.  It’s hard to get anywhere with an unstable mind.  It feels as if this is how it has to be.  Lonely, always in pain.  People stare at me while I’m smoking a cigarette. They say I’m too young to be doing that.  But I am also too young to be feeling this much pain.  To suffer everyday.  I know smoking is bad,  but the reason I smoke is worse.  Damage done to her darkened heart,  the child inside can’t help but drown in all  the tears the pain has brought with it.  The child inside is gone.  The only thing there is now is the  adult woman not knowing how her  life is going to turn out.  The day full of sunshine, the birds are  chirping cheerfully, but our feelings  are as colorless as the sky on a rainy day.  Walking down the street, emotionless  like the teenagers in old, sad movies.  “Life cut me along time ago,” she says  as she cries eternally.  “With a blade made out of darkness,  but the wound hasn't healed.  It has been made to bleed forever.”

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I can relate to quite allot of this.
Sometimes life is very hard, and you figure whats the point in getting up to another day, thats going to be just as s**t as the last.
Although life is what we make it, and we need to build our lives, not sit back and expect them to get better.
Although sometimes your scared of growing up, so you just put it off. Or sometimes you just cant get motivated.

Anyway great piece, filled with emotion, depth, and meaning.
Really well witten :)

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethi..]

Everybody hates growing up.... Just here to let you know...you are not alone:) looking forward to more of your works:)

[Darkened_drear]

Beautiful Poem.It really does describe the horrors of reaching adulthood and learning it is just a road trip to hell.