My best friend

 

There were no words to describe the way he made me feel. The way his body touched against mine, the way his warm breath felt against my skin. He had a way to make me feel safe, a way to rid me of all my troubles, but was it right?

 

 

            Maggie and I had been best friends since sixth grade. We would do everything together we were in separable. During junior high Maggie and I had a routine of spending the night at each others houses every weekend. We would spend hours just talking and laughing about random things. 

            When we entered high school Maggie and I became more boy oriented. Our bodies started changing and we started acting and thinking differently. Maggie was the prettier one. She had red hair and green eyes that attracted many guys. I wasn’t as pretty as Maggie but I was pretty. I had big brown eyes with long curled eyelashes that kind of looked like puppy eyes, especially when I cried. Maggie and I were still best friends but we were just maturing.

            During the high school years till junior year I had had three boyfriends. Maggie had had around nine or ten. I wasn’t much of a go getter type of girl. I was mostly shy and quiet at times. Maggie though, she was the type that when she saw something or someone she liked she would get it. Maggie’s relationships usually lasted around a few months then ended. My relationships usually lasted around a few months also. I always looked for a certain connection with my boyfriends, I wanted to feel a special spark, but I never did. I think Maggie looked for that special spark but never found it so she stuck to what she just liked.

            I remember the day Maggie and I both saw Mick. It had been on the thirteenth of February, right before Valentines Day. He had just started school here and was already getting looks from girls.

            As the warning bell rang to first period Maggie and I departed our ways. I entered my English class and saw Mick sitting right in front of my desk. As I looked at him and walked toward my desk I began to fell butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know why, I didn’t even know him and I was getting nervous. As I passed by his desk I gave him a small smile and he gave me one in return.

            He had dark brown hair, almost black, up to his chin cut in some layers. It was a little wavy and it would sway across his face as he would turn his head. He had clear blue eyes that looked like blue crystal balls. He had a small scar at the end of his left eyebrow that looked kind of cute. He was a little pale which made his eyes stand out even more. Plus, he had two very cute dimples when he smiled. He was a very handsome guy.

            As the teacher announced our assignment I couldn’t help but stare at the back of Mick’s head. He had really nice hair and it looked really soft. The teacher passed out our assignment and told us to pair up to do the assignment. When the teacher stopped talking Mick turned to me and said, “I guess you’re my partner?”

            “I guess so,” I replied.

            I could tell the other girls in class were starring in pure jealousy. We finished our assignment, which took about ten minutes, and then we talked the rest of the period. I felt really comfortable talking to him, he was really nice.

            When it came to lunch time I was really excited to tell Maggie that I had talked to Mick. When I found her at the table I noticed that Mick was sitting next to Maggie and they were talking. At that moment I felt my heart stop, she was going to take him in. Maggie was a really good friend but when it came to guys she always won them over. Some of her ex boyfriends were guys that I really liked, but then she would take them away from me. At times I was jealous of her ‘cause she always got the guys she liked. Sometimes I wondered if she really did like the guys she went out with of if it was just for fun.

            I sat in front of Maggie and I could see Mick starring at me. I said hi to him and he said hi back. Just as I was about to start talking to Mick, Maggie took me chance away. She started talking to him and asking him questions. I was a little angry but I felt that I was overreacting so I got up and got my lunch. When I came back Maggie had Mick’s hand in her hand, supposedly showing him his life line. I knew she was just doing that to hold his hand, she always did. I sat down and she asked me why I hadn’t asked her if she wanted to get her lunch when I went. I told her that I didn’t want to interrupt them talking. That wasn’t the real reason though. She asked Mick if he wanted to get his lunch but he said he wasn’t hungry so she went alone. I started unwrapping my sandwich even though I wasn’t hungry. I opened my tea and drank some. I sat there looking around and I could tell that Mick was looking at me. He started talking to me and my anger started going away. When Maggie got back to the table Mick and I were still talking. Maggie asked Mick if he wanted here tea but he said no. Mick continued to talk to me and I could tell that Maggie was getting a little upset; she wanted his attention on her.

            After that day Mick sat with us everyday. I didn’t mind I began to like him and I liked his company. I could tell that Maggie was starting to like him as well, but not the same way I did. During school and after, Mick and I would spend hours talking to each other. We had a lot in common. We liked the same kind of music, we loved art, and we even had a spot where we could go to, to get away from everything. Mick seemed to be the kind of guy from my dreams except this wasn’t a dream, he was real.

            I would tell Maggie of the things that Mick and I would talk about and how I was starting to fall for him. She always acted as is she was happy for me, but I could tell that inside she was waiting for the moment to take him away from me.

            Finally the day came when she took him from me. It was March the eleventh and Mick and I had been talking at my locker before first period. I was going to tell Mick the way I felt for him and I had told Maggie that I was. I was going to tell him how when I talked to him and just seeing him brightened me up. I was going to tell him that I felt safe around him. I was going to tell him how happy I was around him. I was even going to tell him about my little spark thing and how I felt a spark with him. I was set to tell him when Maggie came in and she did the most horrible thing she could have ever done. Just as I was about to move my lips to tell Mick how I felt for him Maggie came into the scene and kissed Mick on the lips right in front of me. “NO!” I yelled in my head. How could she have done this? I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces. I felt as if my body was going to collapse on the floor. Why? She knew I was going to tell him, why?

            When Maggie removed her lips from his Mick stood there in astonishment. I could tell his mind was filled with so many questions. I’m pretty sure he was expecting me to tell him how I felt for him. I had made it kind of obvious that I liked him, but I don’t think he expected a kiss from Maggie just like that. After the kiss Maggie pulled him away and told him something, she kissed him again, grabbed his hand and walked off with him. As they turned the corner Mick’s eyes caught mine, I don’t know if he saw the tears in my eyes because my heart had over flowed with tears.  I ran to the restroom and locked myself in one of the stalls. I cried for about three minutes till the final bell for first period rang. I sat there on the toilet trying to calm myself down. I couldn’t though, it was as if someone had left a faucet on and the sink was overflowing. Tears just kept rolling down my face. I finally got myself to stop crying and then I washed my face. As I looked at myself in the mirror my eyes were a bright red, you could tell I had been crying. I walked into my first period three minutes late. I could tell everyone was starring at me. I still looked as if I was crying. I passed by Mick and I could feel a knot in my throat beginning to form. I got the assignment from the teacher and began to do it. I few moments later Mick turned to me and asked if I was okay. I could tell he felt bad. I told him I was fine and continued to do my work. Mick stayed there looking at me for a few seconds then turned around. 

            When the bell rang I turned my assignment in and walked out the door. I didn’t even wait for Mick to walk me to my next class. I didn’t feel like talking to him or even looking at him. Plus, now he had a girlfriend to walk to class.

            All the way to lunch time I acted as if nothing was wrong. I didn’t talk to my classmates as much but I acted as if I was fine. I wasn’t though, just thinking that I had to sit in front of Maggie and Mick during lunch brought me so much pain. I got to the table and saw Maggie combing Mick’s hair with her fingers. I sat down and acted as if nothing had happened.

            “I’m sorry I did that in the morning,” Maggie told me, “I just couldn’t hold in the way I felt for Mick any longer.”

            “It’s okay, I’m happy for you,” I replied. I could see Mick starring at me; he knew I wasn’t happy for her.

            When Mick dropped me off after school I wasn’t feeling well. I went to my room and locked myself in it. I went into my restroom and began to cry again. I even threw up a couple of times. That night I cried myself to sleep. In the morning I woke up still feeling sad, but I had to get over it. Day after day I sat with Maggie and Mick. I still talked to them both as if it hadn’t affected me.

            When we graduated high school Maggie and Mick were still together. I couldn’t believe it, but I was happy that she finally found a relationship she could stick to.

            When we entered college all three of us went to the same college for the basics. Maggie and Mick got a two bedroom apartment which they wanted me to live in with them. I didn’t want to though. Even though it had been a little over a year it still hurt me to see Mick with Maggie. Maggie finally convinced me to move in with them. My relationship with Maggie was still really strong, but since that time something went missing. I sill talked to Mick a lot and I still felt feelings for him but I never told any one.

            When we were in the second semester of college I was nineteen and I didn’t have a boyfriend. I got asked several times my really nice guys, but I never felt the spark that I had felt with Mick. At times when I’d be sitting on the couch in the apartment and Mick on the other couch I could feel Mick starring at me. When I’d turn to look at him he always looked away. Ever since that time at the locker, Mick never looked at me the same way as before. He would just look me in the eyes for a second and then he would look away. I missed the times when we would talk for hours and his gaze would always be in my eyes.

            The day did come though, the day that his gaze was back in my eyes. It had been on Valentines Day and Maggie wasn’t home because she was at the library studying for an exam. I had just opened the door to the apartment when I saw rose petals on the floor and sweet scented candles lit. When I saw that I wanted to cry. Mick was a great guy and he had done that for Maggie, or so I thought. I was about to leave the apartment when Mick came out asking me where I was going. I felt a knot forming in my throat. When I looked at him, Mick was looking at me, gazing into my eyes like he had done before. I didn’t want him to see him crying so I had to get out. Just as I was about to leave the apartment a warm soft hand took a hold of mine. I turned and saw Mick looking into my eyes saying he was sorry. He told me that the flowers and candles were for me. He was sorry he caused me so much pain. At that moment I couldn’t hold it in. The faucet had been turned on to full blast and the sink was over flowing. I started going down sliding against the door while Mick held my hand. He came down to where I was and held both of my hands. He even looked into my eyes focusing all his attention on me. My face was covered in tears and I could barely talk.

            “I’m sorry,” he told me, “I should’ve said no, I was confused at that time.”

            He let got of one of my hands and wiped the tears from my face. It felt like a dream, a dream that you don’t want to wake up from. It felt nice to have his hands touching my face. We stayed on the floor for a couple of minutes as he held me in his arms. His arms were big and warm and they made me feel safe. He had never held me in his arms like that before. Just in him wrapping his arms around me I could feel his warmth and love. In that moment I felt happy and carefree. As we stood up he continued to hold my hands, I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. After two years of knowing him I was able to express my feelings for him, and I even told him of the spark. The whole time he never took his gaze off me. He told me of the way he felt for me, how he could never look me in the eyes again after that time. He felt bad and he was sorry.

            After all was said he held me in his arms once again and this time gave me a kiss I’ve been wishing for, for a long time. As he kissed me I felt as if I was floating on a cloud, his lips were soft and warm. We laid on the bed just looking into each others eyes as he held me in his arms. There were no words to describe the way he made me feel. The way his body touched against mine, the way his warm breath felt against my skin. The way his gaze was just on me, the way we were in our own little world, just the two of us. He had a way to make me feel safe, a way to rid me of all my troubles, but was it right? I had forgotten all about Maggie what would she think of me? How could I have done this to her? She was my best friend.

            As I laid there on the bed my head was filled with so many questions and emotions. She deserves this she took away everyone I liked on purpose. Was it on purpose? She helped me through tough times. Does she really care about Mick or me? I couldn’t take all those questions, I felt as if I was suffocating. I needed air, I needed to get out. I ran out of the apartment and Mick went after me. When I got to the hall way I began cry. I felt bad. I didn’t want Maggie to go through the same thing I did. I tried to tell Mick the way I was feeling but he kept telling me not to think of her just to think of us. How could I not think of her she was my best friend. I know at times she caused me pain, but I loved her like a sister.

            Just as I was about to say goodbye to Mick I noticed someone at the end of the hall. It was Maggie she had heard or whole conversation. She stood their looking at us both. I didn’t know what to do so I ran to her telling her nothing had happened. She knew though she heard Mick saying he loved me and she noticed at times that Mick would spend moments starring at me. She knew that I still had feelings for him. She knew Mick didn’t love her, he loved me.

            After that Maggie packed her things and moved out. I didn’t try to convince her that nothing had happened. She knew everything. Before she left she told me she was sorry for kissing Mick at the locker. After that day I never heard from Maggie again. 

            A few days later Mick and I moved into a smaller apartment. When Mick and I finished our freshmen year of college we got engaged. At times I’m glad Maggie found out the truth, but it hurts me to know that she had to feel the same pain I did. After all she was Maggie, my best friend.