No one knows

I'm just starting out, want to get better at my writing. Let me know what you think (:

You don't know what's behind those pictures

You only see the smile

No one's seen the tears

No one's seen the heartbreak

No one's seen the nights up till 3am

With only two hours of sleep

And the torture that brings

How much more it makes me want to see you the next day

No one's seen the torment in my heart

And no one knows what was going on in my head

But I do

And that's what I see when I look back on those old pictures

I don't see the fun times

Because there's a veil over them

A veil of darkness

That has been stained over them and will never fade

Because those tears, those feelings, those nights

They won't ever be forgotten

I may be better now

But they won't ever be forgotten

Those memories are tinted

With the memory of you

When you see me standing in a dress, smiling with my friends

I see the breakdown I had just before

I see all the tears that wouldn't stop

I see myself spiraling down in disparity

I see myself falling into that beloved black hole

The one I never wanted to crawl out of

The one I felt too comfortable in

I see all these things that should be good memories

But never will be to me

Because what was going on behind them

Was just too much

I see me never feeling whole

Never feeling whole

Forcing myself to be happy

So I would appear that way

And that's what those pictures are

They're the things that nobody knows

They're what I wanted the world to see

But they weren't really me

And no one will ever know

Because the happiness is what was captured

And there it will be frozen forever

For everyone to know

Just how happy I truly was