How it All Began

It all began when I realized my precision was insane

The rhythm in my veins matched the visions in my brain

Of a greater world where there's no incisions and none slain
Where consequences are decided by decisions that we make
But hate is just risen because of divisions in the grain
In a God given world where we're driven to a rage
Because we don't see that we're all just really living in a cage
And this life is just something from which we have to disengage
Sooner or later you'll find hope within the page
Of the books left by leaders who lived a better age
And the battles we fight are ones we didn't choose to wage
But the conditions that have risen are ones that we chose to make
There's problems but we never solve them and they're not in just  
places like Harlem
They're in places we never touch base with embraced with silent alarms
And parts in the world where kids are bared with arms
Strapped with AK47's and taped with nuclear bombs
But I'm calm because as long as these bombs are blowing away
My lines will get longer and the rhymes will try to pave the way
For those who share the same dream and  want to start a new wave
And perhaps we could turn this vision into a new craze
But the real question is, have you found your own space?
If this life is really a race, do you know where you're placed?
If you want to make a difference, then it's up to you to be that change
But forget it I'm just 17, who am I to say?

 

Reviews

[cest la vie]

This is a fabulous spoken -word (as I see it, I may be wrong) your frustration's over the worlds situations, and your reason for writing, the change that should and can happen. Reminds me of the song by MJackson "Man in the Mirror" (...make the change). I'm feeling you deeply in this. Really love the tone and delivery. great write..
Lynne

[Erin]

Your age and maturity are two different things. I feel slightly obligated to tell you that, because the way you're talking made me think that you were way older than 17. 20, maybe. 21. 30. 60. Who knows? Age is just a number.
But this is going into my library. I would write a whole lot more about the style and movement and rhythm and stuff, but I gotta go to band. Have fun with your deep deep epic deep thoughts. This is going in my library. I felt like I needed to say that again.
I'm gonna try to read more from you.
PBP

[D. Pesek]

I've read this before, either in a facebook message or e-mail. but I completely forgot to read it here and write a review. As always, well done. The only thing I would change, which is a very small revision, is changing the phrase "AK47" to simply, "guns". If this piece were to be read aloud, "AK47" would be a terribly long phrase to say and would throw of the flow of this poem. Other than that, this was incredible.

[cest la vie]

..and you were just tossing thoughts out there?. Well my friend, this is fabulous.
sometimes the best pieces of work are the ones unplanned, free flowing from your soul. This is a very good write.
Lynne

[PaperHearts]

WOW, this is amazing! I think you've definitely found your niche in this piece. For just a 'spilling of thoughts', I personally think that this is the best piece that you've published here!
I loved the messages that you portrayed. It was thought-provoking and relatable, and current...
The way the lines flowed were just unbelieveable! So effortless and so simple, yet woven with such complexity and such powerful emotions.
My favourite line was: The rhythm in my veins matched the visions in my brain
I really loved this! Keep writing like this! This is definitely where you excel.
~PaperHearts =]

[d. c. smith]

too good.

"Sooner or later you'll find hope within the page
Of the books left by leaders who lived a better age"

i don't know why, but i enjoyed that the most. good stuff, man. good stuff.