The Moment

As I walk through this mob
these ever so crowded halls
I continue around the corner
when suddenly my heart stalls

The people begin to vanish
The hall starts to glow
My heart softly melts
and that's when I know

It can only be her
who walks with such grace
The only star I know
who makes my heart race

With eyes that tell a story
One of a kind is her style
Every time I see her face
I want to stay awhile

It's not that I'm shy
there's so much I want to say
I try to catch my breath
But her beauty takes it away

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

That was so beautiful! Your rhyming was effortless, which made the lines flow really evenly.
You described the moment very clearly, making it very easy to imagine.
My favourite stanza was:
The people begin to vanish
The hall starts to glow
My heart softly melts
and that's when I know

A feeling I could definitely relate to! Well done,
~PaperHearts =)

[Destiny Dreamer]

Ahhhh ROMANTIC! Lovely ... ADORABLE :D I love your writing. It is are AMAZING!

[cest la vie]

Oh my goodness. Where have I been. This is lovely. The rhythm and flow and honesty is wonderful. I really think you did a great job on this piece.

Lynne

[D. Pesek]

I just read this again, still amazing.

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

i really love that last stanza. ties it all together perfectly. a simple but beautifully worded and formed poem.

[D. Pesek]

wonderful! I loved it

[W.k.kortas]

I would disagree with PaperHearts review; I think you do a disservice to yourself with the rhyme scheme--it leads to a couple of lines that don't seem to work in terms of phrasing or meter. It's a nice concept, but I think perhaps you should try to re-work it without the rhyme.

[Helena]

Ah, such a lovely romantic and sweet poem.
Very well penned and a delight to read.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to
Albert's Poetry Cafe! ~ Helena

[Fairy Tales]

very very lovly ..you have a great heart.

[S.S.P.]

very good, clearly executed and well written :)