An Autumn Walk

I couldn't believe you wanted to go on a walk with me. 

Couples went on walks. 

Girls who rolled their skirts, 

their knee socks falling down.

You wanted to go on a walk with me. 

The leaves were burnt under 

the setting autumn sun, and 

no one was around. 

We sat next to the lake. 

Ducks bobbed at the rocks, 

and I was stuck in the corner of the bench. 

You kept talking. 

You stopped talking. 

I stumbled over words, 

throwing them up like leaves

in a dry pile. 

I did not want to be afraid. 

My throat dried, 

betraying me. 

I was out of words. 

I froze loud enough for you to hear my fear. 

You put your arm around me

and cornered me further 

into the bench. 

You felt cold against my mouth. 

My heartbeat pulsed through my eyes.

I felt scared, and I felt nothing. 

So I waited. 

 

There was nothing to hold on to and nowhere to move. 

He stopped, and I found some words. 

I told a lie, polite and convincing. 

And I got away. 

He wanted to walk with me. 

Someone wanted me. 

So I told my best friends, 

proudly, 

that I had my first kiss.