the pull

 A split second 

half way from one end 

of a path to 

forgetting you 

I thought 

of you 

hammered in my tracks 

unable to move 

for you 

my breath sucked 

out of me 

did not drag me 

down the pain 

from you 

more willingly

tingling 

uncontrollable 

flutter all over 

the taste 

of you 

frozen now 

mind running wild 

in the smell 

of you 

I swallow my heart 

in waves of 

juice spilling 

over you 

feeding

the fire 

I starve

to 

light 

in you 

tugg

ing

at

me 

end

less

ly

dying

in surrender

to you

I release the

hold

and fall apart

to

the pull

of you

Reviews

[Artmusicwords]

"flutter all over
the taste
of you
frozen now
mind running wild
in the smell
of you
I swallow my heart
in waves of
juice spilling
over you"

This is really great! I love how your sentence fragments (even occasional word fragments) mirror the swirling thoughts and desperate confusion that the protagonist is feeling. I thik we've all been there; at least I know I have. Being helplessly drawn to someone who might not be good for us or causes us pain is one of the most visceral experiences known to mankind...

[Barry S. Maltese]

To be consumed by the thought of someone. Alwaysw yearning, being pulled apart as if caught in the Gravity of two worlds.

I enjoyed this piece and the way that you penned it. You fagments many of the sentences in just the right manner. Very enjoyable.

[Vincent Maltese]

Wow well said. like the way you wrote it too.

[Michele]

Really good, sounds depressed and angry. I go for the dark stuff.