Bright Lit Were The Eyes Of Yours

Sort of just venting, ignore if you want.

Was that love real?

Sharpening our ability to feel

A dagger of lush

A stone of lust

Suppose it wasn’t enough

Barrier was too tough

Still hear the plea

Echoing from distraught

Bright lit were the eyes of yours

A gaze piercing silver

Such passion of heart

Killed from the start

A hollow hole gapes

But it was fate

Reminisce that passion

Fits like your fashion

Buried deep are those days

The crave never fades

Now the itch be soothed

Remembering you

Once was great,

Always too late

The question attacks

Will you remember me?

Author's Note

This is a new one, wrote it last night.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

Wow, this piece had such an outstanding beat to it! It just flowed perfectly as I read along. I could almost here a subtle drum beat as I was going through each line. Loved it!

The message and emotion behind it was well expressed too. I could sense the feeling behind each word penned, which is always a good thing to give to your readers in the works of art you create. Well done Alexander!

[Alexander Rodgers]

Wow, thanks a bunch! Ah yes, I like to strive upon emotion when I write; i'm glad you could pick that out :)

[Scribbler]

Interesting, I liked reading this
Good work ^_^

[Jessie]

So much emotion! I also appreciate the use of color and different fonts, because i'm just material like that XD
It had a most interesting rhythm as well, it almost sounded song-like. Good description too. Thank you for posting :)

[Samantha]

love this one, the way it sounds when you're reading it out loud.. breathtaking.

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Balkaran Sidhu]

this one pierces the heart....

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thank you :)

[Tricia O'Brien]

I dig, wicked rad for sure

Trish-

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thank you :)

[InsanityWriter]

Beautifully put. Excellent work. :)

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thanks :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

"Always too late" and "Will you remember me" are the most powerful lines in this piece in my opinion, because they relate back so beautifully to the emotional boundaries that you have set. So often we love and live in that love to the point of seclusion. We give and give and in the end, we only wonder if we will be remembered as we remember. Thought provoking.

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thank you, and you make a great point that I whole hearty agree with.

[Dhaye]

I like the rhyming.
This is an emotional piece. I could relate to this because I have also some bittersweet memories with my past love.
Nicely penned. :)

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thank you for reading and reviewing :). Yeah, it is pretty emotional lol. And yes, the bittersweet memories tend to linger the longest.

[Aramey]

Excellent imagery and it builds speed and momentum by the end until the last line, where it actually felt like it hit me in the heart. A very rare reaction coming from me and you managed to drag me right into the flow of this. Excellent work!

[Alexander Rodgers]

Thank you. I'm glad I could get a reaction. I appreciate your review and read :)