The First Step

A Chapter by TravelMySoul

PAUL : NEW GIRLS. OLD GIRLS.

She came into the asylum today, and boy, was everyone shocked.

Shocked, because she was different.

She had red hair, bright red, the dyed kind.

The kind that would suit her.

The kind that does suit her.

That kind of hair and blue eyes,

Blue eyes always deep in thought,

Deep in thought yet never concentrating on one thing or another.

Another thing, she was pretty.

Oh how pretty she was, her beauty shined, almost as bright as her hair.

Ha ha, get it?

No?

I wasn't trying to be funny anyway.

Tony walked past my cell, then backed up, opening the door.

“Rowalski.”

I pretended not to hear him I don't like Tony.

Don't like any of them.

Like those fake, made up "care-takers" who ever presently watch you.

Watch you, as if waiting.

Waiting for you to do something entertaining.

Something entertaining to brighten up their day.

A day spent looking after crazies.

Crazies being me, being us.

Us being people here,in the asylum.

"PAUL" he screamed, trying.

Trying to gain authority.

As if trying to gain respect.

Respect he's never got.

Respect he'll never have.

"JESUS CHRIST PAUL. ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU." He half demanded half asked.

Asked for something that will never happen.

Things don't happen as you want.

Want, everyone wants something, nobody to be friends with.

Except Lucy.

Lucy, lucy, lucy.

Luccyyyy .

Isn't that just a wonderful name? Lucy.

It was actually Luise but Lucy doesn't like being called that.

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUCY.

Lucy's dead.

But I've got a secret.

A secret that got me into here.

Here in this asylum; this mad house.

A mad house where I belong.

Belong here because of Lucy.

Because of Lucy.

Lucy isn't dead, she's just living in my head.

Her voice speaks to me.

It laughs at me.

Me, I , the one person that can hear her.

Lucy is my angel.

My gaurdian angel.

She is perfect.

When she tells me to hurt people.

People that have been bad.

Bad people are not needed in this world.

A world in which Lucy still lives.

Tony is still there.

Tony is still staring.

"What do you want."

I ask, almost demand.

He is interrupting.

Interrupting my thoughts of Lucy.

“ DR. Bow wants you.”

I sigh and get off the bed.

Time to go see the person.

The person that knows my secret.

GRACE : ALL ALONE IN HERE.

I hate being alone.

Alone, I'm all alone.

They left me all alone.

They abandoned me.

They just abandoned me here.

Abandoned me like my family had.

Poor little abandoned Grace.

Her family didn't want her anymore.

They couldn't handle her.

Her and her Borderline Disorder.

Who leaves a person like me alone?

Only the people here.

People, people, people.

When will people learn to love me?

they won't ,

will they?

well, they won't now.

Not now.

Now that I'm officially crazy.

his voice echos in my head.

MAKE IT GO AWAY.

Away.

I want to run away.

Away.

Back to daddy.

Daddy who died when I was four.

My mother couldn't bare looking at me.

Me and my 'issues'.

'Issues' that she couldn't handle.

So she dumped me at my aunts house and ran.

She "traveled" the world.

Never coming back.

Perhaps she'd gotten married to some native on a excluded island.

Sounds like her.

To my gorgeous, beautiful, talented mother I was unwanted.

I was always unwanted.

There is a pain where my heart should be I squeeze my eyes shut.

I hope she's dead.

I hope she rots.

I do have issues.

The kind of issues that there is no cure for.

The type that puts you on a life full of drugs.

I remember Drake.

Drake, oh how I loved Drake.

He was my first and only.

I loved him.

I remember when he took me aside.

He took me aside and told me.

"I can't handle you any more,

Your just too much!

Your nuts, really, every female friend I have you

suspect I'm having an affair with,

God d****t grace. ENOUGH'S ENOUGH."

And then, I still remember trying to throw a bottle at his head.

A glass one.

The type that makes you bleed.

CHARLIE TOO LONG TO REMEMBER.

I was harassed as a kid.

I had this nanny and she had the softest hands.

You know?

The type of hands you just want to melt into.

The creamy, milky hands of a perfect mother.

But what she did with those hands.

What she did was pure evil.

I've been in here ever since then.

Ever since I was five.

Locked away from the outside evil.

I don't know.

I'm pretty used to it.

People come and go,

I haven't been able to go yet.

But I'll get there.

Some people here are pretty cool.

Like,

Ok, they're all crazy.

Crazy enough to get into a mad house.

But then again, I've been in the mad house since I was five.

It's my home.

A home not asked for.

I haven't been home for the past three years.

it's too long to remember.

Remember what my mom looks like.

Remember how my dad smiles.

Remember.

Is Angie still a baby?

Is my room still my room.

This room has been my room.

This plain, white room.

This white room with no sharp objects.

The safer the better.

What is actually better.

I just got back from Dr.Bow.

Dr. Bow the pretty therapist.

The pretty therapist that acts like a mommy.

The mommy therapist that can be strict.

But I think Dr.Bow only acts like that to me.

Because to me, she is my second mom.

She is the person that has looked after me since the age of five.

The person I can tell almost anything to.

ALMOST anything.

Not that.

Never that.

That is my secret.

My biggest secret.

A secret Dr. Bow doesn't know.

Dr.Bow told me to remember.

Remember everything.

I need to remember everything now she said.

It is needed.

Before I can be cured.

Cured from all this.

But do I want to be cured?

I don't know.

I will try.

Try to remember.

Remember all the things I tried so hard to forget.

next chapter

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Featured Review

Hamkar

It's clever linking the characters to Dr. Bow. It's a rather depressing story though. The thoughts of the characters are well formulated but I think we need more of a link between the three (or is that in the next chapter?). Also I find it hard reading a long piece all in italics (this is my opinion remember) and I think it would be easier to read the opposite way round (thoughts in normal, spoken in italic). It is only a presentation thing so you've done a great job!