Living In Fear

Living with an abuser...my submission to "Domestic Violence" contest.

“Living In Fear”

I’m on edge. He’s late again and I wonder what mood he’ll be in. Will he be drunk or sober? Happy or mad? Did he get fired again? I have no idea. I give the kids a bath and attempt to put them to bed. They sense my anxiety and cling to me while I try to settle them down. But I know if they’re still up when he comes home he’ll be angry. So I’m short and impatient with them and say goodnight.

 

I walk to the kitchen and make sure his supper is still warm. The dishes have all been washed. The laundry has all been folded. I notice that I should have vacuumed but the baby was sick and my time was limited. I’m satisfied that the house is just the way he likes it so I sit down and wait. I grab a magazine and jump when the phone rings. I check the caller ID and see it’s my brother-in-law, John. No, not now. If he walks in and I’m on the phone with John he’ll be angry. He’ll accuse me again of sleeping with him. I choose to let the answering machine get it.

 

Several minutes pass and I hear the car pull in the driveway. I take one last look around at the condition of the house and figure it really doesn’t matter. It’s too late anyway. I peek through the curtain to watch him as he gets out of the car. I’m looking for tell-tale signs that he’s been drinking. Staggering, dropping his keys, rumpled clothing. These things will let me know. He seems sober. I relax a little. As I hear the door open I suddenly turn to notice the blinking light on the answering machine. I forgot to delete John’s call.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[verano]

In a very few words, you bring out quite effectively a feeling of constantly being on edge, afraid to do anything that might upset the carefully managed calm, wondering what potential disaster may be lurking just around the corner. And with your final sentence, you leave that feeling hanging there, both for the characters in your story and for the reader as well. Well done.

[Pamela A. Lamppa]

Intense verse this. I have lived here - and we leave --- when we leave. Excellent. ~Pamela

[HeavensAngel]

Domestic abuse is so often swept under the rug mostly because shame and fear. You give a little peek into the life of someone always living in fear. Very good.