Hmmmmmmm

Hmmmm

Livin in and out of dreams, confusion

Livin in and out of loves illusion

 

Lost completely

Problems swept away neatly

Your lies hold together feebly

I see through you so easily

You do it so damn freely

 

I'm filled with curiosity

How can you live with your atrocities?

 

Words taken from my mouth

You've got me dead like crops,

In a complete drought

Stuck trying to figure out

Why you always try to opt out

Trying to make me believe honesty ain't paramount

 

Livin' in and out of dreams, confusion

Livin' in and out of loves illusion

 

 

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Everything to one's own taste.

I am not a rapper, nor am I American.

I am more your Irish writer rapped over the knuckles and as you might put it 'feelin' the pain'

Keep on 'hummmming' though.

This is pop art and pop culture.

It's not 'my bag' however, but I can still appreciate that it is that of many every time I watch the digital tv music channels.

All I would say to you is keep honest to your style and be brutal. That's the only way.

Don't ever, EVER let anyone cramp your style. I certainly won't.

But if you were to place me in the lyrics business I am more of your Leonard Cohen and as Everbody Knows, That's How it Goes.

More to the point as he once sang:

"Now I bid you farewell, I don't know when I'll be back
There moving us tomorrow to that tower down the track
But you'll be hearing from me baby, long after I'm gone
I'll be speaking to you sweetly
From a window in the Tower of Song"

Good luck with your poetry. I can see lots of natural talent in you.

You don't have to like it to recognise it.

Stay true to yourself but in your brutality be kind.

I like you and your writing. You will be hearing from me baby. I look forward to reading more soon. I am not that far down the tracks.

Best wishes

An Irish Brit

James

[SW..if..TY]

thanks bro! very much appreciated!!

[SW..if..TY]

What I want to do with my writing skills and love for Rap/HipHop music is to make music that is relatable to the average everyday person, relating the struggles and economical hardships that are faced day in and day out, because that's how I live if not a little bit worse..

[char]

Hmmmmmmmmm.......awsommmmmmmmmmme :D

[headoverheart]

I can almost hear the rhythm here :) and the title is interesting enough but the contents are more than just a 'hmmm...'.

[SW..if..TY]

Well thank you! And I titled it that way just because this poem/song was random in nature even with a full force meaning, I wrote it 10min haha

[headoverheart]

A poem in ten minutes! Talented much? your 'hmmm-ing' then can come up with so much meaning. Keep doing it :)

[SW..if..TY]

Thank you! with the positive feedback. But ya some poems take me a little while and some are very quick to come!

[Pretty_as_a_Poet]

I'm not really a Rap/Hip-hop fan...but I liked this! Good job!!

[SW..if..TY]

Thank you! I'm a rhyming person, I have trouble writing poems that do not rhyme

[SW..if..TY]

I want my lyrics/poems and my love for hip hop to relate to the average everyday person going through the struggle of trying to survive an make a decent living in the terrible economic times we are in, because so many people are apart of it, also to relate on more personal levels with relationships and family issues

[uhknowbot-e]

Love's illusion as it were a living entity

[SW..if..TY]

Absolutely bro!

[Shannen Forrester]

I don't think I need to sing my usual praises for your work, I have one suggestion. The final line might read better if it was "Livin' in and out of loves illusion" but otherwise, it is perfect :)

[SW..if..TY]

That does actually sound a lot better! :) Thank you!

[Shannen Forrester]

It's okay, again it's the one flaw I found.

[SW..if..TY]

Constructive criticism is always good for the writer! :)