Universal Concern

My poem/song/lyrics of a serious issue we all know today.

Give me the drug that makes me feel real

Give me the glue that will hold tight this seal

Give me the money to afford my next meal

Give me the lies that forfeit my mind for you to steal

 

We're marching to instrumental melodies

While our government commits constitutional felonies

Got us trapped in our homes like sea anemones

Making us believe our friends are our enemies

 

The voices swarm, soft whispers

Always and ever changing, like shape shifters

Thoughts trapped, won't come out,

Like being held for ransom

The bars are broken, now it's time to smash 'em, time to smash 'em

 

Watch what you've built

Fall like a house of cards

These are your lies, trapping you in guilt

Sending your heart into thousands of shards

 

Marching to your own damn blindness

So consumed with laboratory made bliss

It's unfortunate it's the truth you dismiss

Believing and eating your lies, like its the main dish

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

WHAT DO YOU THINK???? FEEDBACK PLEASE. Just a sample of what crosses my mind and what I think about. Another to come shortly

Reviews

[char]

I'm not one for rap, but I love rock and punk music. And I used to play guitar. So I can say, truthfully, that this is very upbeat. As you read it, it practically has its own beat. It moves on its own. So, in that sense, it's successful. Now you just need music. :)

[SW..if..TY]

Awesome! Thank you! I'm a big rock and punk music listener as well, but rap has definitely been the easier way for me to put my thoughts out there for sure. It's cool to know it has its own beat/flow! Thanks!

[char]

That's cool! Diversity is a good thing! :)

[SW..if..TY]

absolutely!

[Jem Sagcal]

Thr rhyming and the words used were absolutely perfect and conveyed the meaning you wanted to display amazingly.

I swear I got goosbumps while reading the last lines of every stanza, you gave it such a marvelous ending.

[SW..if..TY]

Wow thank you! I try to write the best poetry I can :)

[Shannen Forrester]

I have to agree with Anna L, it really does have its own beat as you read it, the lyrics themselves are thought provoking, I really like it.

[SW..if..TY]

Thank you!! my brain/mind see the world differently, and lots of people don't see it the same way or think im legit crazy! haha but I definitely feel and see the flow and beat it has of its own! very easy piece to read, funny how im saying this about what I wrote haha but I guess when you're in the moment of your writing sometimes you miss little things like that

[Shannen Forrester]

Well I am legit crazy so I see where your coming from ;)