Why?

A Story by Ashley

I'm just entering this for a contest on journal entries. This is basically a journal entry, just written in third person.

She still loved him. It was quite obvious, to her anyway. Just the sound of his voice caused he heart to flutter, and she was constantly talking about him. She missed him. Missed him so much, that she cried herself to sleep every night, asking herself why she wasn’t good enough for him. How another girl could have already taken her place so early in the year.

She found out that he had indeed joined football (his excuse for breaking up with her) and she almost broke down seeing him in a tie and button down shirt. She couldn’t even look over that way without just wanting to cry. She heard his voice every day, and every day, 5^th period was a torture chamber. Having to hear his loud voice over all the others, having to hear his ringing laugh, just killed her. It didn’t help either that everybody kept asking her if he was going out with a girl named Flor. When she heard that, she almost cried right there, in Social Studies, in front of everybody. She kept her composure though, and managed to get through the period without a single tear.

But now, it was hitting her. That there was no way in hell he would go back out with her. No way in hell. So as she sat there, mourning her revelation, the teacher announced a very interesting piece of news. “We will be switching seats in this class at the end of the six weeks.” She didn’t know how to take it. Was she suppose to worry about being seated next to him, or was she suppose to be happy to have the opportunity to be able finally reconcile with him. She looked at the girl sitting next to her and murmured “Wouldn’t suck if I ended up next to Nick?” she looked at her with awe as it dawned on her friends face. “Oh my god! That would!” Candice was one of the very few inner circle friends she had told about Nick, only because she understood.

There was a little part of her though that wanted to sit next to him, just to see what he would do. He would probably ask for a seat change, she thought, or just not talk to her. The latter was probably what he would do, considering he would more than likely be too lazy to ask the teacher for a seat change. Or on the rare chance he would start talking to her. Pshh. Like that would ever happen. He thinks I’m a total b***h, she tells herself, like he would do that. But, she was still curious.

God, why me? Huh? Why did I have to go out with him? Why didn’t you tell me not too? I wish somebody would have told me. Because this just isn’t fun. She wasted the whole of her 7^th grade year on a boy that now hates her, and now her life is even worse now that’s she’s not dating him. She can never catch a break. Either she’s with him and miserable or without him and even worse. Who knew it could be this bad. She didn’t. Worst of all she’s doesn’t just have a crush on him, she is still in LOVE with him. Unfortunately, he isn’t. He now has a girlfriend for all she knows. And she knows no matter what he won’t ever come back to her.