With tear
dimmed eyes the woman wound copper hair around her finger as she watched the
woman she had almost called sister against the fading sky of a day that the sun
had never touched. Sympathy and confusion clouded the surfaces of her mind as
she sought for the correct action for her to take. Before her sat a woman many
in their small village would call a saint, and here she sat, her heart in her
hands. Weeping. Nuonna bit the inside of her lip anxiously as she seemingly
inched forward til her slender hands lightly touched the narrow shaking frame.
“…Hey.” A breath she heard her take, in a futile attempt to restrict the sobs,
and release it, “I understand you’re in pain now and….I know these words aren’t
what you want to hear…but…” She paused a moment, knowing her next words would
be difficult, “This is for the best. ” Seconds passed that felt like hours
before the fair haired elf next to her lifted her head; resentment could almost
be seen in the sapphire of her eyes when she rose to her feet. “No. It isn’t.” She breathed before she
turned to leave.
The pathways in her village lay abandon for the
most part at this time day when the sun hung low and the sky began to fade into
black. She took the back way around the houses, not wanting the glances of
sympathetic pity anyone who saw her would surely offer; she didn’t want their
pity, their sympathy, their well intended gestures. It wouldn’t change what
happened then and it certainly wouldn’t heal the unbearable pain that plagued
her body now. Unseen she slipped through the door, finally safe from the lives
that surely wondered how she faired here; alone. There was new pain here, for
nine months she had struggled to make her stand with those around and often
times herself. The child was to be half human, worse; it was the embodiment of
the hate that ran between the elves and mankind. A constant reminder she was
held against her will when the child was conceived, beaten like an animal, she
still wondered how anything with feeling could be so demonically cruel.
~
“Athilia, you can’t honestly be serious.”
The usual velvet of Nuonna’s smooth voice was coarse;” Do you know what kind of
life it would have?”
She nodded slowly; even the smallest twitch still
ravished her body with siring pain. “I am.” Her voice was just above a
whisper, “I can’t….I just can’t.”
“You can’t just what?” The copper haired elf
almost yelled, “You can’t remove the parasite that….that MONSTER put into you?”
“It’s still a life I can’t.”
Thin lids feel over the woman’s emerald eyes as
she sighed, “You don’t have to be a martyr.” She said softly.
“I’m not thinking of anyone but
myself right now.” Athilia replied, “This child does not deserve to
suffer for anyone’s mistakes but its own; thus far it has made none.”
The woman felt herself smiling softly as she
gently wrapped her arms around the woman she’d known all her life, “If this is
what you really want then I’ll not pester you.” She pulled away and looked into
her eyes, “As long as this is what you want.”
Athilia nodded, even she herself still wasn’t sure
what exactly it was she wanted, but she believed every word she said. “Will you be ok?” She didn’t offer to speak,
merely nodded her head, “Go home.” She gently encouraged, “I promise I’ll be fine.” Three months had passed and
she found herself completely in love with the child, often she found herself
smiling as her hand gently stroked the small bulge of her stomach. From then on
she counted the remaining months, anxiously awaiting the day she would meet the
one she knew would bring purpose back into her bleak world.
~
Today had come without the sun, at least for her
it had, dawn had just began to color the sky when she had first felt the pains
of labor. Now as she lay her tired head back against the pillow she smiled,
waiting for the cry that would sound as sweet as rain, minutes passed and
slowly her smile faded as she looked toward the woman who hastily worked with
the child. One look at the still fragile form and she knew, she knew the child
was dead, yet she chewed her lip anxiously; praying the truth wasn’t so. The
elder woman turned to her, the child motionless in her arms, “She’s beautiful.”
The woman choked, tears visible in her eyes as she gently placed the baby girl
in her mother’s arms. Athilia felt tears stinging her own eyes when they fell
to inspect the features of the child, her daughter, that now lay in her arms.
With delicate finger tips she traced the outline of the child’s face, her tiny
lips, her cheeks, her nose. Her ears were elven, almost ensuring her acceptance
in their tiny village. “May I have a moment?” The midwife nodded, “Of course dear.” When they at last were
alone she readjusted the blanket around the child, “My dear sweet Oria.” The sound of her name
threatened the ocean of tears she fought with all her strength, “I hope.” She choked, “I hope that you can forgive me
for simply not being strong enough.” The day had come and almost gone at this point, the heat of
the day had already began to subside though the sky had yet to dull in hue, but
the sun had never shone. Not here.
The woman found herself now in an empty tent
shaped house just before nightfall. She sighed heavily and made her way around
the room, lighting home made candles as she went. A small clay pot sat close to
the last candle to be lit, upon its lighting her unusually clumsy hand knocked
the small pot to the floor. Shattering to pieces on impact. Minutes passed
before she offered to move, her small figure shaking from the vast emotions
that coursed through her body: grief, sadness, anger. As if intoxicated by the
breaking clay she shattered another pot, and then another, and another, and
another. Surrounded by portions of clay she slunk to the floor and there she
wept again.
She woke disoriented; the dimly lit room seemed
unfamiliar at first as she looked out a window to find the blackness of night
had now fully claimed the world outside. Rubbing her still swollen eyes Athilia
grabbed her hunting gear and left the small hut. She’d rather be anywhere but
there, so a walk amongst nature she felt might do her good; into the forest she
went. Alone.