That Feeling, again

but then my heart jumps, again, and I know I can't do this again.

But then I get that feeling, again.

That feeling where

everything is better

in your presence, and 

I'm unsure how I've lived

life without you until now,

because without you I

can't live.

I get that feeling, again,

where roses seem to sprout where 

you walk, and where you run

beauty seems to unfold, but I know

it's not real because I've felt

this feeling before, and again, I know

the roses will wilt, again, and the

beauty will fade, again. 

Again, that feeling, 

seems to play a tune that I can't 

ever put my

finger on, but it's 

something so beautiful,

and lovely,

that I don't ever want it to 

stop.

But I know it will, again, because

I've felt this before, and that tune 

becomes something

that I hate hearing,

and it reminds me of

things I hate thinking.

So as I get this feeling, again. 

I know where the roses will 

stop and where the beauty 

will end, I know how the tune

will play out, because i'm feeling

all this again.

I know I still have no clue

what this feeling is, but

when this feeling fades,

again, 

and my heart breaks,

again,

maybe I'll learn to 

grow my own roses.

Have my own beauty.

Maybe I'll learn to play that tune

and maybe, just maybe

I'll feel this feeling, again.

And have a name for it.

So, again?

Author's Note

https://voca.ro/1o1VufCVQ8vN

As someone who over thinks a BUNCH, I don't think 'love' is ever really the word when the person we enjoy being around depicts our entire mood. At the end where the speaker says "so, again?" it's as if shes asking her partner if she can love him, or if he is ready because when she loves she loves strong, if their upset, so are you, and you know it's not healthy but you do it over and over and over...
again.

Reviews

[Jeyanthi]

It's heartbreaking 💔...
Your lines.. I can feel.. I was on that place long time before... holding tightly helpless hope....

Keep writing..
It's like lyrics..

[maya_online]

Thank you so much for your words, I think you've never truly felt love until you've felt this "feeling".

[Jeyanthi]

Yeah right... it's love scar...

[Antifranticbabydoll]

I can feel the despair in your writing, the aching. You've captured your feelings beautifully and thoughtfully. I wish you the best, M.

[maya_online]

I try my best, thank you for your words !