telescope thread

there's this thread, this tie
between my heart and your eyes,
like a telescope, you look in:
suntanned rocks that can't win
against the tumult of the sea rocking,
and a marked hand with a gun cocking
a reddened door with the bolt locking,
that won't unseal even when
your eyes come knocking.

so you turn your key in the lock, and
it won't open up, even when it's broken up
door's quiet, but it's spoken up
and said leave me alone:
stop trying to slip in behind
the masquerade when all you'll find
is the tumult of the sea rocking
a technicolor ship into the docks.
dressed in torn sails and misdriven nails,
it'll slip under the bridge, skim the top,
if it just bends its back
and picks up the slack.

so take a bow, and bow out, my man
you have tried and taken a stand
but now is the time
when you must comprehend,
that this ship has failed
to show you the secrets of the trove.
so must you continue to rove
through the clutters of my heart
and take all this glue apart
that held together the herds of hurts?

please take away your telescope thread
and leave me laying on this ship's head.
tie a knot and hook and lay dead
the other cracked hearts that may tread
along the path of your mighty gaze.
if you cannot, cannot resist,
might i suggest something instead?
let this ship of hearts crash and sink
letting its treasure trove drown ahead
and lay to waste on the ocean's bed.

Reviews

[Emily Rae]

the metaphor, and the details of your metaphor, are fantastic..."torn sails and misdriven nails"... "it'll slip under the bridge, skim the top, if it just bends it's back and picks up the slack"-- these pieces alone say so much about the journies of the heart

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

spoke intimately to the tidal undulations of my love patterns~ what a stunning cultivation of metaphor~

[.......]

let this ship of hearts crash and sink
letting its treasure trove drown ahead
and lay to waste on the ocean's bed.

I really enjoyed this part, This is amazing.
Liked this write alot!