The Supposed End

I guess I knew it would all come to an end soon. Ive seen this light before. I try to hold on, but how much longer can I do just that? I love and recoil for then its time to dissolve and decay in my own sorrow, fear, and spilled blood of my shattered heart. I tried so hard and gave it my all, but I guess it was just an effort. I guess that influenced me to want to be a shadow hidden in the night, or just a forgotten memory. Somehow and someway that will not happen. No one will let me do that. Sometimes I wish I was, but Im not. My heart holds love for every friend I have and hold dear to me. My life is too much for me. When I meet God, I will tell him I will watch over my friends as their angel, and I will still pray to my God that everyone will have a better life. I do pray, now, for everyone. I want to make a few things clear, however.

1.Yes, I do believe in God ad I live under Him and serve Him under my own wishes.
2.I didn't and wouldn't ever care about myself because I live to listen, to serve, to pay for the sins of others + my own. I see that I have done no wrong in this path.
3.I love and care for you all. I hope your dreams become reality whilst mine are dust in the wind.
4.I want everyone to confide in the closest of friends. If they get in a fight with you and they are true to you, you guys can work it out without alot of argument and you can make it through together. The key is that both sides work together in unison. Do things for yourself not to yourself.
5.My other wish is that I have helped so many of you that you will not self-injure yourselves in anyway. It only hurts everyone around you and breaks my heart. My only heart that keeps me barely alive.
6.Take prid in everything you do and learn to love not hate. Hating gets you nowhere but deeper into the pools of regret. This was my legacy. I never hated anyone even though I have gotten a bit tense at some of my friends, but I never hated anyone of you. Ever.
7.I tried to be the best person I could be and I only hope that I succeeded in doing so.
8.I always hoped for the better, although Ive never believed in hope. It makes no sense to sit there and hope when just sitting there isn't doing much good at all. Make things happen.
9.Im sorry to everyone for pain I may have caused, or any frustration I have caused, or sorrow, or anything else. I feel obligated to be sorry all the time. It's funny because I tried to erase 'sorry' from all of my friends vocabularies in hopes they won't say it, but they forbid me from saying it. Hard to do when I feel obligated to.
10.Learn. Everything in this world consists of learning. I learned about you and you learned about me. That's when friendship starts to form. From speaking to everyone of you, I learned many things about people. I thank you for that information. It's wise to learn about your friends. That knowledge may come in handy some day.

The least I ask from you is that you take in the lessons you have learnd. Make your own experiences and live them to the fullest and try to make no mistakes so you regret nothing. Make this world a better place like I tried to do. I just wanted a better world to live in. I wanted to be someone there for support and for guidance. I want everyone to rememer when they first talked to me. I was a stranger and you were a stranger to me. Strangers become friends in conversations as long as each stranger works towards that goal of friendship. I acted upon my will to be nice and sweet and I was there for support when you needed it. I was there.
I found out tips of friendship I found quite useful.
1.Everyone is equal. God loves us al the same. Why can't we?
2.If someone gets you angry, take a break and walk away. A fight isn't worth losing someone important to you, and it's not worth the consequences or regret later.
3.If something is bothering you, tell someone who cares about you. Work it out. Don't hold it inside of you.
4.Try to understand the other view of things. What if you were in the same situation? What is the best thing to do?
5.Love. Care. Give compiments and good advice. Those are the best things that matter.
6.Stay calm. Helps you work things through and see the situation clearer.
7.Remember who you are and what your values are.

I tried to help all of you out. In return, I wanted the world to be a better place for everyone. I can say I tried, but I can't live much longer. Please help a stranger in need. You may save their lives like I did and I don't regret it. I feel good about it. Please. Everyday someone is depressed and thinks about suicide. They just need someone there to talk to. Please be that person and save a life. It's my last wish.