Presented before me is an emerald sea
The water shimmers with a playful glee
I am mesmerize beyond compare
Presented before me is an emerald sea The water shimmers with a playful glee I am mesmerize beyond compare
As I take in this sight I see a small island In the middle is a lone palm tree Unlike many trees that are the same This particular tree is special
Though the tree is alone on the island
It shows an acceptance to this loneliness The bark of this tree strong It vibrates with life The emerald leaves are prominent
When the wind blows The tree sways with the wind As if it enjoys the gentle wind The wind does not over power the tree The tree accepts the wind
They both work together To demonstrate the beauty Both forces can create In natural union with the emerald sea A natural trifecta that can never be duplicated Again
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Featured Review
The imagery you use is very strong and paints a vivid mental picture. I admit a little disappointment when the poem did not turn out to be as rhythmic as I thought it was (the two opening lines match in rhyme and meter; the rest of the poem discards this). It is not a problem or complaint mind you, just something I felt worthy to note.
Some of your choices in words seem a little unusual to me. Particular, prominent and duplicated are not words that often come up in poetry, something I attribute to the difficulty in matching them to meter and the susceptibility to accent. Again this is not a complaint, I actually find the inclusion less of an oddity and more of a point of interest.
I like that this is a very calm and gentle poem; a lot of what I read on WritersCafe is very jagged and tries hard to stir up a whirlwhind of emotions (and not always succeeding) so it is a nice change of pace to read something that seems written for the sake of being written, instead of trying to instil too much information into the reader. Even with my initial misgivings this turned out to be an enjoyable poem.
I love the description in this poem. I can picture the palm tree standing alone on the island. This was a great way to use the title and the topic the group. Beautifully done.
Posted 14 Years Ago
The imagery you use is very strong and paints a vivid mental picture. I admit a little disappointment when the poem did not turn out to be as rhythmic as I thought it was (the two opening lines match in rhyme and meter; the rest of the poem discards this). It is not a problem or complaint mind you, just something I felt worthy to note.
Some of your choices in words seem a little unusual to me. Particular, prominent and duplicated are not words that often come up in poetry, something I attribute to the difficulty in matching them to meter and the susceptibility to accent. Again this is not a complaint, I actually find the inclusion less of an oddity and more of a point of interest.
I like that this is a very calm and gentle poem; a lot of what I read on WritersCafe is very jagged and tries hard to stir up a whirlwhind of emotions (and not always succeeding) so it is a nice change of pace to read something that seems written for the sake of being written, instead of trying to instil too much information into the reader. Even with my initial misgivings this turned out to be an enjoyable poem.
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