Facing Pain

A short story about an individual who faces the physical manifestations of pain

I stand in a middle of a cell. The cell is 10 by 10 sq foot with padding all over. The door is seamlessly integrated and there is no way of me to tell where the door is. I looked on my body and I see that I wearing basic long tee shirt, black pajamas bottoms and on my feet were converses.
 
I pace back and forth hoping everything will be fine. Ten minutes later the door opens and two muscular men entered in the room. They restrained me and walked me down a long corridor.

 As I directed my attention to the end of the hall I can hear cheers coming from the end. At that moment I knew where I was headed. I was headed for a public execution, under the guise of public testing. I enter the vast room where the spectators look on too see if they will see a different outcome. The room better known as Gut-Check. It was room that had a circular shape to it. The room vibrated with the aura of pain and hatred.

The color of the room was pure white except the very center of the room. The center of that room had what seemed like a huge blast mark on the ground. It emitted a really strong smell of death to it. I was then escorted to that very center. In front of me came the man that could very well be my personal grim reaper. He goes by no name. Many call him The Deliverer. This is a man that shows no remorse for any pain that is inflicted and will not stop for mercy.

The Deliverer is a slim man who wears no shirt to show his Chinese tattoo for pain on his left arm. On his right arm he has a Chinese tattoo that represents not fearing death. His eyes were his most prominent feature.

The eyes were dark pools that looked like tar. These were the type of eyes that showed no window to the soul. The only piece of clothing he had was a pair of silk pants with sandals. He approached me and asked me if I thought I will make it out alive.

As I was about to answer he came to me and said that no matter what I believed or imagined the outcome to be, it will be inevitable. I will be destroyed and I will not last for more than a second. He continues on to say that the humane to do was shoot me between my eyes. The crowd laughs loud. Summoning all my courage I loudly declare that I will make it out and nothing can break me. The Deliverer smiled sinfully and said that we will see when it is all said and done. With that said it began.

The Deliverer ordered the men who escorted me to restrain me to a pole. They proceeded to handcuff my hands behind the pole. After that was done he placed his left hand on my chest. The Deliverer chanted some words in Latin and proceeded to push his hand into my body. He rummaged through my soul to find my pain I hid deep inside. This demon wanted to add it to the other massive amount of pain energy already collected through his years of instructing this procedure.

He exclaimed and pulled his hand out very slowly. As he pulled it out I felt something large coming out of my chest. The pain felt immense but I later on I realized that pain I felt was nothing to compared to what was in store next.

I realized that my energy was enormous. It was the size 10 basketballs. Everyone fell silent when they saw this. The crowd within speculated on how I was able to live with that burden for so long. I felt lighter and freer then I had even been since I had been alive.

After I indulged in my clarity I looked at my energy, swirling and vibrated the foundations of Gut-Check. It had the same characteristics as Deliverer's soulless eyes. Deliverer snapped his fingers and beneath the floor came the energies of previous participants.

The energy groaned and created air currents with it massive energy field. He preceded to throw my energy into the energy ball. The ball took my energy and it looked as it was going to overload. Quickly Deliverer aimed his hand out and squeezed the ball with his mind down to a manageable and portable size.

The Deliverer the pointed the ball at me and told me if I was ready to face my fears and the fears of all those that stood before me in this test. I nodded and with a massive force, he pushed the ball within my heart.

The very first moments of this experience was an infinite amount of pain. It seemed to get worse by the nanosecond. It felt as though sharp swords were digging into me and were being plunged back and forth repeatedly. There was no moment of rest, I was in constant alert. Blood started to secrete from scars that were open by my body. I felt a deep and long scar that was opened diagonally on my chest. My back was ravaged with long and deep cuts.

The scars were jagged and it felt like the scars reached my lungs. I could barely breathe, yet I was still holding on. My mind, body and soul felt it wanted to die. My inner being screamed out loud and wanting it to stop. Outside of this I can only cry. I didn't want to show it was getting to me so much. The crowd marveled and was in a state of shock. Through the mental and spiritual pain, I saw and experience those that came before me.

The horror and hurt from what they and their families when through was hard to stomach. I remember that I have people that are counting on me as well. Suddenly a rush of strength came that I never knew I had. I pushed all the pain, sadness, anger, and despair out and concentrated on controlling it. I allowed the pain to wrap around my mind, body and soul.

I whispered to the darkness that I understand and I willing to shoulder their burden for as long as I live. In a way it understood what I said and began to recede its destruction on myself. It infused itself to me and it began to heal my wounds. I felt the open cuts on my body to come together and mend with invisible stitches.

I felt my strength and most importantly my sanity to return to me. The Deliverer was stunned. I broke out of the cuffs that had bound me. I took off my shirt ignoring everyone and I looked to find that the scars on my chest and my back were there. I smiled and realized that the demons within that ball never wanted me to never forget what I went through.

Suddenly the crowd cheered and screamed my name. I waved to all and I looked at the Deliverer. He clapped his hands and nodded at the approval of my accomplishment. I walked out the complex renewed and having the knowledge that no matter what I go through in life will be not as bad as what I experience that day.

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

This was a great story even though there were quite a few mistakes. This is what I found:
The cell is 10 by 10 sq foot cell with padding all over---we know its a cell, you don't have to say it twice.

I think you used the words "The cell" way to much in the first paragraph.

I study my new home, hoping that it wont be the last time I see it again---take out again. its an awkward sentence with it.

I can take on a phyiscal representation of pain.---physcal is spelled physical
. I study my new home, hoping that it wont be the last time I see it again.---wont should be won't

The Deliverer is a slim man who wears no shirt to show his Chinese tattoo for pain on his left arm.On ---space after arm and on

it will be inevitable that I will be destroyed and I will not last for more then a second. ---then should be than

He continue on to say that the humane to do was shoot me. The crowd laugh loud. ---continue should be continues and crowd laugh should be crowed laughs

The Deliverer order the men who escorted me to restrain me to a pole have them ---order should be ordered

He chanted some words in Latin and he preceded to push his hand into ---preceded should be proceeded

After I indulged in my clarity I looked at my energy. My energy swirling and vibrated the foundations of Gut-Check.---"My energy swirling and vibrated the foundation..." is a fragment add a comma after I looked at my energy.

Quickly Deliverer aim his hand out and squeezed ---aim should be aims

It felt as though sharp swords were digging into me and were being plunged back and forth repeatably.--repeatably should be repeatedly

The scars were jagged and it felt like the scars reached my lungs. I could barely breathed--breathed should be breathe

I broke out of the cuffs that had bind me---bind should be bound


great job!

[Coyote Poetry]

In the days of old. Native Americans had the test of manhood. Using pain and disciple to test the young braves. Story was detail and description was good. Just need reason and purpose.
Coyote

[vinny ciambriello]

This is interesting and I really wanted to understand what the main character was going through. Clearly it's horrible, surreal. The whole thing reads like a dream, a nightmare. But it is a bit hard to understand. It is full of grammatical and sentence structure mistakes. It could be a lot clearer. Nevertheless, it is compelling.

[Gabriella]

I really like the story and I'm glad you heeded the suggestions of the last reviewer. The overall tone is very mysterious and dark. It feels allegorical to me and quite profound. I feel as if your style and flow could use work but these are things that can only be learned with practice.