Dreamer Chapter 8

Caroline and I left the warmth of the house and headed out into the cold night. With every breath I took, a thin cloud of evanescent vapor materialized in front of my mouth, and my fingers quickly became numb. Over our heads, the half moon shone, barely lighting the driveway enough for us to find our car. It was some old, black piece of junk sedan, but Caroline insisted that we keep using it until it completely died on us. Though I wasn't going to tell her, I was certain that one day, the entire rusted steel framework would collapse. Or considering the temperature, maybe it'd just all freeze over.

 

"Well," said Caroline as we opened the doors and slided in, "Dyer, I didn't know you were interested in girls yet. As much as I'm glad to see that your first girlfriend is a nice, sensible girl, I'm a little concerned about you two. Dating is a serious matter, and you shouldn't take it lightly. I don't know how much you know about-"

 

I groaned inside my head. She was going to give me 'the birds and the bees' talk. This wasn't something I wanted to hear. Stopping her mid-sentence, I took evasive action. "I know what you're about to say mom. Please, for both our sakes, don't say it. It's just going to be awkward and embarrassing."

 

The engine whined as she put the car in reverse. "Where'd you hear it from? School?"

 

"Um... Everywhere, I guess. Look, mother, I'm fifteen years old, we have cable TV, and I go to a public school. Of course I'm going to know. It just... Happens."

 

The 'post-Christopher' Caroline would've flipped out, but this new 'post-William' Caroline thought it over calmly. "So, just out of curiosity, what kinds of things do you hear? Not everything you hear is going to be true, and I want to make sure that you're getting the right story."

 

"Uh, just... The usual, I guess. Guys being a bunch of prats about their..." Bracing myself, I continued, "Sexual prowess. Casual sex, one night stands, unexpected pregnancies, the whole deal." I cringed, not expecting even the new Caroline to be okay with this, but she seemed to not have heard me. With a casual flick of her finger, she turned on the CD player and began to sing along with some oldies rock.

 

"Mom? Did you hear what I just-"

 

"Yes, I did."

 

“And you're okay with that?"

 

"Yeah."

 

This was surreal. Any day before today, she would have pulled me out of public school, enrolled me in an all-male private school, cut our TV subscription, grounded me for life, and put a blanket ban over all females besides herself.

 

"Honey, I know William really well. We were best friends in college. If he's raised his children well, which I think he has, then I don't think Abbie's going to tempt you in that way at all. And I know my own child." She looked away from the road to beam at me while I tried not to think about the irony of what she just said. "I know you've got a good head on your shoulder, Dyer. I've done as much as I can as a parent, and I need to let you make your own mistakes from now on. You're a true gentleman. I know that you'd never take advantage of a girl."

 

What had William done to her? It wasn't a bad change at all, but so... Radically different. This new Caroline seemed so... Happy. Carefree. Already, I could see the newfound joy in her heart overflowing onto her face, making her look years younger than she was. This was the Caroline that I'd missed so much over the last few years.

 

And maybe this meant... Maybe, even for me, there could be redemption.

 

Caroline didn't miss the solitary teardrop running down my face. "Dyer, honey? Are you feeling okay?"

 

Choked up, I could only manage to nod.

 

She took her eyes off the road completely and looked at me, perturbed. "Did I... Did I say something?"

 

I smiled at her. "Yeah. Thanks mom, for everything. I love you."

 

She smiled uneasily and said, "I love you too. You're my child. I'll love you no matter what you'll do."

 

Did that promise extend to what I'd already done? Or to the extent of the crime I'd committed?

 

"I owe you an apology," she said, looking straight ahead, even though we were the only car on the road. "I haven't... I haven't been doing a very good job being a mom lately. And... You deserve better than that. You deserve better what I've been giving to you. Christopher's death was hard on you too, but I've been acting as if it only affected me. I've been selfish..."

 

The guilt feeling multiplied, threatening to pull me apart from the inside out. "No, mom, stop. It was... especially hard on you. You loved him in ways I couldn't ever imagine. You did your best, and that's all I could have ever asked for."

 

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Caroline was also crying, but decided not to pass comment.

 

***

 

So much had happened today. The day's events were so varied, and so overwhelming... Dizzying to think about. From discovering Ellie's crush on me, to Abbie's suddenly becoming unable to control her desires, to Caroline's bewildering metamorphosis... And Christopher. Lately, there were too many reminders of him. So much of what I'd tried to bury and leave behind was pushing through the dirt of my memories, wailing as they fought for life. Abbie had forced me to recall the night that he had died. When I had been using my dreaming powers, I had heard his voice, talking to me, screaming in agony... Caroline had talked about him today for the first time since his funeral, so many years ago. Was I the only one who couldn't move on? Even Caroline, who'd been so deeply scarred by his death, seemed to be taking a liking to William, and leaving Christopher in her past. Revered and remembered, but no longer relevant.

 

I didn't even bother changing my clothes, and just collapsed on my bed. Too much. It was all just too much. Why couldn't I have been born normal? Why was I singled out by God- or whatever deity was out there- to be this monster? Given these unhuman powers, to what avail? My father was dead. Caroline's wounds were slowly healing, but mine were not. If anything, they were getting deeper and deeper as the days wore on.

 

Did I even have a soul? Did it mean that I had a soul, to feel guilt and pain over killing another human? Over killing my own father? Or was that just my conscience? Survival instinct? Or were they all the same thing? I didn't want this curse. I wanted my family, the father that I had loved, and killed.

 

Strains of blackness engulfed me as I lay there, and I didn't even have the will to fight anymore. I knew that it was coming. My physical body was absolutely worn out. The lack of sleep I got meant that I was getting weaker and weaker, and the same held true for my mental fitness. Recognizing an easy defeat, the blackness pounced. My entire being became the darkness. There was no Dyer Keegan anymore. Just dark.

 

But this was different. Bright, swirling patterns, unlike the shadows. Multitudes of colors. Shades of life, not despair of death. Hope.

 

Was I just dreaming, or was I using my dark powers?

 

The darkness and the light stood side-by-side, brothers, and comrades.

 

I reached for them in wonder.

 

***

 

"Dyer? Wake up. Oh, look at you! Did you fall asleep with your clothes on?" Light. "Dyer? Come on, you'll be late to school if you don't wake up now." A nudge to the shoulder. "Dyer? You haven't been getting enough sleep lately, have you? Goodness. You're a fright."

 

"Caroline?"

 

"That's mother to you. Now get up."

 

Quiet. Stillness.

 

Feeling groggy, I stumbled out of my bed, and without opening my eyes, felt my way through the hallway to the shower. With eyes shut still, I sluggishly removed my clothes and stepped into the bathtub. Water. A constant stream of it, beating down softly, like the rain...

 

I opened my eyes and showered.

 

A minute or two later, I shut off the water and reached for a towel. Strange. Traces of exhaustion remained. By the time I was finished taking a shower in the morning, I was usually wide awake.

 

I put on some fresh clothes and walked downstairs.

 

"See you, honey. Have a great day at school." Caroline kissed my cheek, and ushered me out of the door.

 

The bus came, and I sat in the back seat, alone, like always.

 

What was it about today that felt so different?

 

I stepped off the bus once we reached Atway High, and Abbie came over to hug me. "Hey, handsome. How're you?"

 

"Tired... And everything... Everything feels so weird. I can't put my finger on it. But everything is off."

 

"Aw..." She held me tight and kissed me for a few seconds. Even in this, my lips were feeling listless. For all I knew, I could be eating tasteless ice cream. It would feel no different. "Feeling a little better now?"

 

A white lie wouldn't harm her. "I enjoyed that, but not really..."

 

Taking my arm, she led me inside the building, masterfully weaving through the gaps in the crowd, or where the mob did not part, pushed people aside. "By the way, could I ask you a favor?"

 

"Sure."

 

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything... But could you stop intruding into my mind?"

 

The veil that had covered my eyes vanished. I saw everything clearly, felt the slightly ticklish sensation where Abbie's bare skin touched mine, smelled the stagnant air and the unholy scent of cafeteria food being cooked in huge vats of grease...

 

"What?"

 

She turned to me and frowned, clearly let down by my answer. "Is it that much to ask? Lately, I don't even look at your eyes anymore, unless you know I am, and don't care. Memories are one thing, but my mind... There's a lot of stuff up there. It's not like I don't trust you, but I'd like a little bit of privacy. Is it really that hard to just get out of my head?"

 

I glowered at her. "But I haven't been in your head."

 

Sighing, she stood up on her toes and peered into my eyes. "Then why do I see nothing but darkness in your eyes? You've been using your dreaming powers, and somebody dreamed their way into my mind. Two and two make four, Dyer. Don't tell me they add up to be five."

 

"I... Involuntarily fell into that mode of dreaming last night. But I swear to you, I wasn't trying to get into your mind. And I didn't. I respect your privacy. You know I do."

 

"Look, Dyer, ever since the time you made me hot for every guy I saw, I've been able to tell when you're in there. There's a presence, and I've gotten pretty good at recognizing it. It's the feeling I get every time you delve into my head." She let go of my arm. "All I'm asking is for you to stop. Please. For me."

 

The bell rang, shrill and tinny. With a small kiss, she left. Frozen there in fear, I couldn't move my legs to get to class. I hadn't actually used the dark powers on her again, had I? There was no denying that I had slipped up. The darkness had reached much farther this time, and I had seen things I'd never seen before. I wasn't afraid to admit that. But did I really lose control that badly? Had I intruded on the privacy of another human's mind without even realizing it? I did not remember doing so. All I could recall were the darkness and the light, one and for all purposes, the same.

 

But I couldn't deny her logic. I was the only one who could've made that presence in Abbie's mind, and I loved and trusted her enough to believe what she had said at face value. This couldn't do either. I couldn't just dam up my sleep, and then lose every bit of control in one night. Although it meant I would break into other people's minds a lot less, it also meant that I would intrude a lot more powerfully. What was I going to do?

 

It's redundant to say, but Mr. Parker was pissed off when I stumbled into his class half an hour late. I didn't care anymore, because it didn't really matter anymore. There were more pressing things I needed to worry about, but thanks to this whole institution, I was trapped like an animal in a hot car. Though I desperately needed help, no one could give it to me. Abbie thought I was a liar. I couldn't even trust myself anymore. Julia, though she knew me like nobody else did but Abbie, couldn't be exposed to the overwhelming truth, and even if she was, then it wouldn't do anybody any good. Winnie and Rich- they couldn't do a thing. They were my friends, but I could not yet entrust them with the knowledge of my dreaming powers. At any rate, they'd think I'd gone mad anyways. Lucy-

 

That was it. Lucy. As though in a trance, I stood up and left the classroom without even bringing along my things. Behind me, Mr. Parker stood at his door, screaming at me to come back, but unwilling to chase me down. The poor man must've thought I was just being a punk. It was what it would appear to anybody else.

 

Walking aimlessly down E hall, I tried to remember where I could find Lucy. I knew that she took Psychology and Sociology with some lady named Ms. Wright, but I didn't know where the classroom was located. There were a total of eight or nine hallways in the entire building, and I didn't particularly feel like going through them all one by one. I strode over to the door closest to me and opened it. Some thirty pairs of eyes all stared shamelessly at me.

 

"Excuse me. Does anybody know where Ms. Wright's class is?"

 

The teacher, an older woman, with wispy white hair, looked around for the person who'd disrupted her class. “Who just said something?”

 

From the door, I waved my hand. “Me. Do you know where Ms. Wright's classroom is?”

 

Looking bewildered, she said, "Her class number is F205. But, wait! Wait! Who are you, and-"

 

"Thanks." Shutting the door behind me, I took quick strides out of the vicinity. Though I doubted that the little old lady was fast enough to catch me, I would just be begging for trouble if I didn't put some distance between us. Besides, F hall was across the school, and the room number was in the two hundreds, which meant that the classroom was on the second floor. I'd have to take the long way around, by means of the main staircase. Great.

 

After a few minutes of walking, I was there, at F205. It wasn't nearly as long a journey as I thought it'd be, but I was already on two wanted lists. Each second meant the difference between mere irritation and a week's worth of detention. Raising my hand to knock, I was preempted by Ms. Wright, who opened the door before I got a single rap in. She was a kind-looking lady, with the kind of genuine smile that never went away. Awful cheery, and young, for a psychologist. In her early thirties? "Can I help you?"

 

"Yeah," I said, peering into the classroom. "May I talk to Lucy Randall?"

 

With a teasing smirk, she said, “That wasn't the kind of help I was talking about, but sure, you can.” She walked back into the classroom before I could retort. "Lucy? Some young man here wants to speak to you. Don't take too long. All this material is going to be on your test next Thursday, and I'd hate for you to fail."

 

Dooring clicking behind her, Lucy walked out. On the whole, she didn't seem altogether surprised to see me there. "Hey. What's up?"

 

"I'm losing my mind and your sister thinks that I'm a liar."

 

Though I sounded desperate, and slightly manic, her facial expression didn't change. "Does this have anything to do with last night?"

 

"How do you know?"

 

“Is it really relevant?” Lucy asked, looking me in the eye. It reminded me too much of Abbie. I adverted my gaze instead to the wall above her head.

 

"Yeah, because depending on how you saw things, you could be prejudiced for or against me. So, how do you know?"

 

"Well, Abbie woke me up in the middle of the night, and wanted to talk to me. She said something about how you were using your dreaming powers to get into her mind, and then went back up to her room."

 

"Here's the thing though. I don't think I did. I mean, I- er- inadvertently used my dark powers last night, but I wasn't consciously trying to get into her consciousness. Do you think I did on accident? I know that you believe me when I say that I wasn't meaning to do anything. But... What if I'm losing control again? What if..." I trailed off, unwilling to think about where I was about to head.

 

"I do believe you. You wouldn't lie about something like this. And..." She furrowed her brow as she thought. "Something tells me that it wasn't you."

 

"Okay, nothing against your intuition or anything, but if I'm not doing it, who is?"

 

"Good question." She glanced back at the classroom. "I'm sorry, but this isn't a good time for me to talk. I'm missing an important lecture right now, and I've got to get back in there. I promise that I'll be thinking about things, though."

 

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks for believing me."

 

She stopped halfway in the act of turning back around, so that I could see her profile. The half of her face that I could see reminded me of Caroline when she was about to scold me. "Dyer? How did you get out here? Surely your teacher didn't give you a pass just so you could come and have a chat with me?"

 

"Oh damn! I-" Panic shot through me as I thought out the quickest route back to geometry in my head. "I'll explain later! I've got to get back to class!"

 

With a cackle of laughter, Lucy yelled from behind me, “You're so screwed, dude!”

 

Mr. Parker didn't acknowledge me when I dashed back into the classroom, slightly sweaty, and out of breath. He tried to ignore me for the rest of the class period, but I noticed that, for the problems he had worked up on the board, most of his math was wrong.

 

***

 

Mr. Hamilton dismissed us for lunch a few minutes later than normal, which meant that thick crowds had already congregated in the hallway, all streaming in one direction to the lunchroom. I slung my backpack over one shoulder and used it as a battering ram against the unrelenting current. At this rate, I wasn't going to be able to even start on my food by the time I reached my destination. With any luck, Lucy would figure out where I was, once it became obvious to her that I wasn't going to eat lunch in the cafeteria.

 

Finally fighting off the last of the throng, I opened the door to the old chemistry lab. Lucy was already in there, eating lunch off of her full-length denim skirt. Always one step ahead of me.

 

"Doesn't look like a very comfortable way to eat."

 

Her voice was acidic. "Of all the abandoned rooms there are in this school, you had to choose this one? Next time we need to have a secret meeting room, I'm picking it."

 

The haughty expression on her face pushed me over the edge, and I doubled over laughing. "Sorry. If I'd known the health risks of eating here, I would've gone for an English classroom instead."

 

Her expression softened as she surveyed my face. "So, Dyer, just wondering, but does this situation seem eerily familiar to you? You know, like you've been here and done this before?"

 

"Nah..." I chewed on a soggy peanut butter and jelly. Nasty, but I didn't have time in the morning to cook gourmet meals. “So, do you have any brilliant theories that'll put me on my knees in awe, bowing before your superior intellect?"

 

She shook her head, looking frustrated. "Not unless there's another dreamer out there."

 

"What?"

 

"Another dreamer. Somebody else who has the same powers as you do."

 

"But that's impossible. If there were more people like me around, don't you think the general public would have heard about it? It's hard to keep things like that secret. Just because I do a good job of it... And even if there are people like that out there, how likely is it that one of them is here, at Atway High, targeting Abbie arbitrarily? And if there, by some nonexistent chance, was another dreamer here, why haven't they broken into her mind before? What would they be looking for, now? None of it makes sense."

 

"Exactly my point. But I can't think of anything else, besides your theory that you lost control."

 

My eyes narrowed. "My theory? I think that at this point, we should accept the fact that I don't have much influence over what my dark powers do. They dominate me, not the other way around. Face it Lucy. There's no other explanation for it."

 

She took a long drink from her water bottle before answering me. "Look, I know that when you asked me to 'think about things', you wanted me to figure out ways that you could keep your dreaming abilities in check. But I don't think that's the problem. I think you're undermining yourself. You're actually more in control than you think. No, there's something else that's happening, and I'm going to figure out what it is."

 

I snorted. "Good luck. I'm just telling you now though, that you're not going to find anything because I'm right."

 

"Maybe so, but I have a feeling, and my instinct has never let me down." She took a mouthful of her apple. When she had finished chewing, she spoke in a more sympathetic voice. "What're you going to do tonight?"

 

I rolled my eyes. "What else can I do? I've got to somehow keep myself awake the whole night. Might stop by a coffee shop after school and drink a few espressos. Grab an energy drink or two. Eat a lot of sugary snacks and the like."

 

Lucy looked at me, and for the first time I had seen, her eyes seemed to pierce through me, just like Abbie's did. "What're you going to do if you're right? Drink seventeen coffees a day and drag yourself around like a member of the living dead? You're only human, Dyer. Humans need sleep. You're not going to win this battle."

 

"I know," I said, feeling hopeless.

 

Lucy tossed the remainder of her lunch in the trash bin. "I've got to get back with the others... I told Abbie I was going to the library. She'll get suspicious if I don't get back soon, and you know how hard it is to lie to Abbie even when she doesn't suspect anything." She stood up and headed for the door. Almost as an afterthought, she stopped in the doorframe, her back still turned to me. "Are you going to grace us with your presence, or do you need some alone time?"

 

I shook my head and looked down at my sandwich, even though she couldn't see anyways. "I don't know yet."

 

By the time I looked back up, she was gone.

 

***

 

Again, I stretched out my arms and ran. It looked so close. So attainable. I didn't even know what it was, but I could see it, and I knew that I wanted it.

 

I needed it.

 

My legs felt as though they would collapse from underneath me in my mad effort to touch it. To know that it was real. So much of me was strained, pushed beyond human strength by this impulse.

 

The light and the darkness were right in front of my face, but I could not touch them. Each step I took grew progressively heavier, and with every moment that passed, my breath grew more and more ragged. Keeping in time with my too-fast heartbeat, my body seemed to shrink. Every movement I was making felt unexpectedly dense, as though I had been carrying weights upon my shoulders.

 

I stopped running and made a futile effort to look at myself. No go. The absolute nothingness covered everything. My eyes were absolutely useless, and the rest of my senses were next to useless. But though my sense of touch was numbed, I could still feel. True, life, or whatever this was, felt as though I was experiencing it with thick cloth over my entire frame, but it was better than nothing. I forced one of those cumbersome arms to the other, and a finger glided over the rest of my skin.

 

Wrinkles.

 

Fortified by this development, those same arms rose effortlessly to my face. Underneath the probing scrutiny of my fingers, the flesh drooped off of my skull, creating flabs of skin. Firmly implanted on my chin was a beard. Not bristly or hard, like the beard of a young man. The long, silky beard of an old one. Horror was overruled by desire, as the lights quivered once more before my eyes, reminding me what I was running for.

 

My aged body protested, but I kept shuffling forwards.

 

***

 

It was a familiar tune. A kid's song. Something English. Annoying, too. Loud. Clearly digital. Computer generated. Not pleasant.

 

I wanted it to stop, but I couldn't move. Maybe I'd grown too old. Dead. Maybe it was an out-of-body experience. Was I on my way to hell?

 

“Dyer, honey? Must we go through this every day? What's the point of owning an alarm clock if you're not going to wake up to it? Come on, get up. You're going to have a bedtime soon, if you keep this up.”

 

Was that all another dream?

 

I opened my eyes with some effort. Caroline's head hovered a few feet above my own, her eyes examining me.

 

“Do you feel sick?”

 

“No.” My mouth barely moved.

 

“Then come on, get up.” Instead of leaving, she just backed away from my bed, watching me still.

 

Trying to tense my muscles did no good. Nothing happened. This must be sleep paralysis. When humans sleep, their brains tell their muscles to freeze up. Otherwise, the body might thrash around and accidentally hurt itself. On occasion, the brain wakes up from REM sleep, but the body is still paralyzed, held prisoner for a few minutes, while the mind and the body catch up with one another. To make things uglier, some people have accompanying hallucinations, and experience severe paranoia and anxiety attacks. I was one of those lucky few.

 

“Are you okay? Do you want me to call a doctor?”

 

I tried to shake my head, but nothing happened.

“Honey! What's wrong?”

 

This had only happened to me once before, and it was an experience that Caroline didn't want to see. “Sleep par-al-y-sis.” Each word was broken into syllables; my jaws could barely move. “Go. Not pret-ty.”

 

Caroline stood her ground. “I'm not leaving. What if you're seriously hurt?” The old Caroline started to seep through. “I'm calling the hospital.”

 

“No. Go. I fine.” If I could have used my facial muscles, I would have winced. 'I fine.' Honestly.

 

For a second, each of the alter ego Carolines wrestled with each other, and indecision ran unobstructed across her face. Finally, she kissed my cheek, and left the room, taking many worried backward glances towards me.

 

Good. I hadn't been lying- this really wasn't going to be pretty.

 

Abbie's body emerged on top of mine, unclothed, but also formless, shapeless. She kissed me, but I wanted her to get off, get off! No! She should not- And then she became Lucy, who sat on me, and looked down on me with a superior, disdainful expression. Had I said something wrong? Something intangible had changed, and I no longer felt the union between us... Her features morphed, liquefied, melted... Julia jumped off of me, edging away from me... Fire. There was fire in her eyes. Distrust, and yearning, all in the same inflamed passion. She reached for me, and I knew that she wanted more of me than I was willing to give her. With a shudder and a sob, she became Winnie. And she... She seemed not to see me, looking right through my body. Blankness, no emotion. No! NO! With a violent ripping shriek, she became Rich. He pointed a finger at me, betrayal etched on his lips, treachery branded upon his tongue... As he accused, his breath became rank, and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol hung like an unsavory perfume around him... Oh God! It wasn't worth it! It wasn't worth-!

 

Christopher. Wearing the same expression as a judge about to condemn a criminal to death, he circled around me, not saying anything. Just breathing, filling my nostrils with that revolting scent, and looking at me with a crazed glint in his eye. He took another circuit around my bed, again, again, again...

 

Without warning, he threw himself on top of me, screaming. The same scream he had emitted when he had died. Kicking and squealing, but all too willing to end it all.

 

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I couldn't blink them away. They stayed there, blurring my vision and deforming the features on the face in front of me.

 

And just like that, I literally jumped out of bed, screeching at the top of my lungs.

 

Caroline came running back in, and stood there, shell-shocked, as I bawled and howled uncontrollably.

 

“Dyer! DYER!”

 

Upon hearing my mother's panic, I stopped. There was a strange quality to her voice, frightened, but comforting at the same time. The kind of tone only a mother could adopt.

 

“S-s-sorry mom. Sleep p-paralysis. It made me see th-things.” No matter how much I tried to compose myself, I couldn't stop the stuttering.

 

She took me in her arms, and I felt the same comforting presence. For once, like she was the parent, and I was the child. The way it hadn't been for too long.

 

“Thanks. Just a nightmare. Don't worry about it,” I said, and smiled.

 

Caroline pulled away. “Are you sure? Do you want to take the day off?”

 

I shook my head. “It's okay. It's all over now. I've got to get into the shower now, or else I'll be late for the bus.”

 

She watched me leave the room, looking uneasy.

 

***

 

It was not Abbie who was waiting for me in front of the bus lane, but Lucy. Unable to shake off the morning's memory, I shuddered a little bit as she embraced me. Of course, she noticed, and called me out for it.

 

“What? Is my skin clammy cold today? Did you wake up today and decide that the sensation of the human touch was horrendous?”

 

“Nah. I just had a nightmare with... You and several other people in it.” I tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal.

 

“Great. Now you're having nightmares about me. Think about how that makes me feel, kid,” she said, sounding too playful to be serious, yet looking too solemn to be facetious.

 

“Are you joking? I can never tell. You keep too good of a poker face.”

 

“Maybe. If you want me to be.”

 

“That works.” I looked her over, and she eyed me back, the faintest hint of a smile forming on her lips. “So, where's Abbie? Nothing against you, of course, but it's usually her who waits for me, not you...”

 

The smile disappeared as she said, “Dyer, how are you feeling?”

 

Queasiness bubbled in my stomach. There was something wrong. “What happened to Abbie?”

 

“That's not the important thing. How do you feel-”

 

“NO! Tell me! What's wrong with Abbie? Is she sick? Is she hurt?” Frantically, I took Lucy by the shoulders and shook her. Still, she was silent, pleading with her eyes for me to stop. “Tell me! Why won't you tell me?! Damn it Lucy! Tell me!”

 

She let herself be shaken and waited until I was done. “Abbie's feeling, er, sick in a sense. She's been... Hurt. But not as hurt as you'll be.”

 

I stepped away from her to resist the urge to shake her again. Was she being this enigmatic on purpose? Couldn't she that this was torture to me?

 

“Dyer... Abbie stayed home today, because she couldn't bear to tell you herself. Physically, she's alright, but... She's breaking up with you.”

 

Her mouth kept moving, but I didn't hear another thing she said.