Hard Beliefs

I was raised Catholic but fell out of love with the whole religion thing...but there are some things I feel are true and this season is making me think of them so...

They say He was made in His image

Jesus the Prince

the Savior

 

They say that He died for our sins,

my sins

the good catholic girl

outside

but secretly I sinned

even though He died.

 

They screamed my guilt to me

condemning me with their voices

in dark boxes

fear

they had no face

so I bruised my knees on

hard

wooden

benches

fervent whispers of

 

Our Father

 

Our Father

 

Hail Mary full of Grace

 

but

My sins

never washed away

 

My lies were heard through megaphones

The Father

Son

The Holy Ghost

 

and my Mother

 

looking down on me

 

knowing

 

knowing all I hid

 

I cowered before this

 

angry

 

angry God

 

I ran away

I learned

I scorned

 

I think of the one they said had saved us

 

They say He was made in His image

Jesus the Prince

the Savior

 

Made in Gods image?

Yet Jesus walked in open places

hugged the worst of sinners to His breast

 

cleansed them in

cool

clear

open

water

 

I see sun shining on His face in darkness

I feel His arms were safe ones

I feel His smile healing

the most broken thing.

 

I feel the sand under His feet

and His hunger

as He  walked and fasted

believing He could give a better life

to end the fragile ones suffering

 

I know the anger in His heart

for the vanity and possessions

that stole  the kindness and empathy

from the souls of weak people

 

I don't know much about saints and God

But I know

 

That Jesus was beautiful

 

Son of God

Our Savior

Mother Mary's miracle child

or

some say

just a man

 

I don't know what to believe

 

But I know

there is nothing wrong

with wanting to be like Him.

 

Whatever else I don't believe

I know

That Jesus was a beautiful man.

Reviews

[Rhiannon Dragonraine]

An Eloquent expression of your faith and beliefs, I know alot of us struggle with what to believe and go searching and then find ourselves stumbling until we can sit down and outline what we believe, if only just to clarify it for ourselves. I have never seen belief statement so wonderfully worded.

[Carole]

Wow, this is powerful, girl. I was raised Catholic too, so I remember well how I felt so condemned when I sinned. I am sure they don't mean to project this, but I always felt that God was this big ogre sitting upon his throne with a big whip just waiting to whip me for every mistake. The God/Jesus I have come to know now is NOTHING like this. The God that I know now, you have described to a "T" below. When they say, "God is LOVE" they have never uttered a truer statement. Coming to know this God of LOVE has totally and radically changed my life forever. I will never ever be the same.

Yet Jesus walked in open places
hugged the worst of sinners to His breast

cleansed them in
cool
clear
open
water

I see sun shining on His face in darkness
I feel His arms were safe ones
I feel His smile healing
the most broken thing.

I feel the sand under His feet
and His hunger
as He walked and fasted
believing He could give a better life
to end the fragile ones suffering

I know the anger in His heart
for the vanity and possessions
that stole the kindness and empathy
from the souls of weak people

I don't know much about saints and God
But I know

That Jesus was beautiful

Son of God
Our Savior
Mother Mary's miracle child
or
some say
just a man

I don't know what to believe

But I know
there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be like Him.

Whatever else I don't believe
I know
That Jesus was a beautiful man.

You are in touch with all that is true for this is a beautiful piece and it echoes again and again who God is.
THANK YOU...and God Bless!!!!

[Jacqueline]

I resonate with the emotions you displayed in your drop. Myself, I was raised Baptist and am currently a card carrying Agnostic ;). I was taught to fear God more than to love Him, so I could feel you in your words. Residual religious beliefs still linger, but I have my own conversations with God and no one can tell me that they know what's better for me; nothing I would pay attention to anyway ;) This is a strong piece!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Excellant work.. i too ain't big on religion but I do believe in Jesus... they preach so much about many thing and each religion seems to have a different interpretaion of the bible... nice to se you write about what to some is a touchy subject and written so well... I am with you on this.

[Rain]

There comes a peace in believing you'll be forgiven for being human. Comforting piece. Rain..

[Yvonne Heidt]

Beautiful job.
I was also raised catholic - recovering now:)

Whatever else I don't believe I knowThat Jesus was a beautiful man...

I completely agree - Amen.

[Midnitefyrfly]

This really is a beautiful expression of your thoughts. I grew up catholic and went to a catholic school until I was 12. I grew tired of answers that didn't make sense and fake people that used religion as a facade. I think you make some excellent points that I can definitely relate to. Even though it raises some very real and perhaps not always welcome questions, it is all presented in a very respectable and eloquent way. It was enjoyable to read. Nice job!

[BrightEyes]

this is an amazing write...how true that whether man or child of God, Jesus was caring, compassionate and wonderful.. I really liked this...expressing honest emotion .....pure, raw and just simply beautiful.

laura

[James K. Blaylock]

I really enjoyed this piece. To me it seemed to be searching for reason and meaning in life. I found myself seeking these same things. And I believe that most -if not all- people are looking for it. Being a Christain, I have faith that I've found it in Jesus Christ.

[Sara Muschweck]

This was absolutely lovely, and so full of emotion. I could see the guilt you carried as you begged for forgiveness for you "sin" and not understanding why the forgiveness was not given freely as it should have been. I see where living more like Jesus, and less with the worry of the sin's could be a more peaceful way to live.