Hiding...

A poem about some self destructive feelings...

Sometimes I conceal myself,

become a ghost,

inside these folds and layers

that I host.

 

At least then I know I am hidden

and that is why you can not see.

 

At least I'm sure I'm ugly and

that's why you don't look at me.

 

I've made sure I have no passion left

those that you can not abide.

 

At least you can no longer hurt

The one I hide inside.

 

I am standing on a threshold

where jumping's not allowed

 

So

I hang in there,

I stay in here,

I blend in with the crowd.

Reviews

[Yvonne Heidt]

This broke my heart. Excellently written.

"I've made sure I have no passion left - those that you can not abide..."

I know how that feels.

Excellent job.

[Carole]

YES, we place up self-protective walls to keep from getting hurt over and over again.

I am standing on a threshold
where jumping's not allowed

So
I hang in there,
I stay in here,
I blend in with the crowd.

Great write! :) Carole

[Ryan Jaimz Knight]

Anyone who dares to be different and unique must always pay the price of being misunderstood, scorned, and ostracized by others who are unwilling or unable to step out of their comfort zone. Their minds to narrow to consider the emotions and perspective of another, and usually they are the type who are the first to boast how tolerant they are of those who differ from themselves. Having lived with this form of ignorance for the majority of my exitence due to the fact that I too lead an unconventional life, I can tell you from experience that you can never make everyone happy, no more than you can control what they think or say about you. Therefore, so long as you know who you are, and accept yourself for all that entails then you needn't worry about the ignorant ravings of those who would rather judge you, than love you. Plus, you are not doomed to be alone for the rest of your life, I felt that way once, but years later I have three of the best friends a girl can have, and therefore no one who is unique is irrevocably doomed to a life of grim solitude. Aside from that, this was an awesome write in that it is very thought-provoking, and a subject that everyone can identify with since we have all felt the sting of rejection at some point in our lives. The lines are tight, the voice of the speaker is smooth, and has an easy rhythm to it that is easy for the reader to follow. For once, I don't have any suggestions about possible improvements since this piece is fine the way it is. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for taking the time to write, put up, and share this piece with everyone here on the WC. I look forward to reading more of your incredible work in the future. In the meantime, have a beautiful and creative afternoon.
BJH

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I loved this piece wholly! And I am no stranger to these feelings at all...

So
I hang in there,
I stay in here,
I blend in with the crowd.

[Sara Muschweck]

This is such a strong write, you have given voice to those who have been made to feel less of themselves, those abused and beaten few who go through life with a mask to hide the fragile one inside of them. The wall flower, the shy one, the abused wife, you have lent them your voice to let others know that they are out there.

[Closed profile]

Wow, this is powerful

And as the others say, you are NOT ugly
Please do me a favour and find all the things you like about yourself, both physically and mentally. Write it down and say it aloud every single day for the next month
And to make this even better, look into your own eyes in the mirror while confirming these things

You have a beautiful mind

I feel like this now and then too, I think we all do

Let me know if you ever need someone to listen, then I'll be there for you

You can write me at my myspace profile too

www.myspace.com/mariaretz

Much love

Maria

[BrightEyes]

I agree with Rain...you are not ugly...don't ever believe that. You are a beautiful person. I understand the need to isolate oneself...it is so much easier than braving the pain that may follow when we open ourselves up to someone else. I did it for years...then, opened up and got kicked again...but I realized something in the process...that is THEIR loss...because I am worth knowing...and so are you my friend.

*hugs*

laura

[Rain]

This is true of me, also. Perhaps that's why it touched me like it did. Comedians hide behing their comedy. Writers hid behind words sometimes. We all hide in someway. Do you remember Janis Ian, and her hit song "Seventeen?" I got a video of her singing it, and God it was so painful to hear how she hid. I love this piece. You are not ugly, you're beautiful. You have a great heart, and a great piece. Rain..

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Isolation as a defense to keeping the hurt out... trapping our feelings so they are easy to ignore... I have been there... you loneliness and pain are very evident in your expression.