The Bus Af-fare

I hate traveling in the buses

Ah, The suburban buses of Chennai. They help people commute from place to place with such efficiency and care that each and every passenger has a happy smile on their face the moment they enter a bus. With the very capable skills of the conductor when organizing the crowd to collect tickets and the driver swiftly passing through the traffic, the whole affair goes by just like a breeze.

...and this isn't even rush hour.

If only all the above lines that I’ve typed in were true, then my reason for writing this story would be non-existent. So to share my small anecdote, let me start with the very beginning...

I travel by bus a lot and though it’s the cheapest and easiest way, it is never the most pleasant. Monday to Saturday mornings and evenings in buses are packed with people who are all in a hurry to get somewhere so much that they don’t mind tussling and grazing a few others if they have to. Once you enter a bus, it's eat or be eaten and survival of the fittest. Either way, experienced veterans familiar with the tricks of boarding the buses are often at times the ‘wise-guys’. They are the ones who keep talking to the driver or conductor like they’re his best friends(even though they ignore him) or pass their much unwanted comments towards any heating argument just to show everyone that they are free of all the worries of the world and are smart enough(or dumb enough) to talk back. The other types of passengers in the bus are usually just ill-tempered people who mind their own business if they can.

My experience took place just during the time when the disease called Conjunctivitis(to make it sound cool) or ‘Madras Eye’ was affecting people everywhere. Once I caught it, my eyes became red, painfully swollen and watery. I couldn’t open my eyes because of the swelling and only one of my eyes were in a good see-able condition. First my left eye would start swelling, then my right and so on.

Now the thing with Madras Eye was that the affected person must at all times wear sunglasses to avoid direct eye contact with other people due to risk of infection. I had no problem with that ’cause I had a very cool-looking pair of shades that I love to wear. Now all this happened during my 11th std. quarterly examinations. I used to travel to and from school by bus during that time because I always manage to make myself late getting prepared for school and my cycle would be the last thing I would use to reach in time because of the distance, so my only option was the friendly metropolitan government bus(…or was it?). So there I was, proud yet stylish with my sunglasses on of course, walking towards my bus stand where I awaited my bus. I get on the bus once it has arrived and find that its way too crowded which is not a surprise considering there are over 50 passengers who are running late for their schooling, teaching, working etc. I board the bus using the front entrance because it is easier to get in. This must have been my biggest mistake.

The bus conductor was way behind, lost in the sea of passengers and just shouted about getting the ticket for those who have not yet bought theirs’. I hadn’t collected mine from him yet because of the God-forsaken crowd that would never stop pushing and tugging whenever the bus stopped or moved. I was at a very uncomfortable position in-between a fat lady and an old man who both gave me disgusted looks as if I had violated some big national law whenever I moved a little just so that I could get a little ease of comfort. Any way I tried to get the attention of the conductor for ordering my ticket always resulted in these 2 people staring at me and my glasses. There was barely any room left by now and people still wanted to enter the bus during each stop. Then suddenly, on the penultimate bus stop towards my destination, almost half the passengers dispersed from the bus like leaking water from a bottle. Salvation! The conductor was now in my line of sight standing just in front of the rear entrance of the bus and I swiftly but stylishly(note that I’m still wearing my shades) go up to him to get my ticket. But just as I ask him for the ticket, in through the rear entrance behind him appears this semi-bald man with a whistle and a list-card with a pen. He is one of the Bus Inspectors who sometimes come in to check whether everyone has their ticket. Oops.

I wanted to make the transaction of the ticket but just while I ask Mr. Conductor for the ticket who blatantly shakes his head and shows me his hand, Mr. Bus Inspector stands there and looks at me with a disappointed face. I knew that I would have to confront the guy about the matter of the absence of my ticket. He takes me outside to the bus stop and keeps me with him. I was getting late for my exam. I was not in the mood for this. While being brought outside, I start imagining about the possible outcome of being made to visit a police station because of violating some big national law. The inspector interrupted my daydreaming and started chattering in Tamil by asking me the first question -
Mr. Inspector - "So you are traveling by this bus without a ticket eh? Do you know what the fine is for not having a ticket for the bus?”
Me - “No sir…”
Mr. Inspector - “the fine is 500 Rupees . Now what are you going to do about it eh?”
Me - “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t carry that much money with me to school. I just have 20 Rupees now”
Mr. Inspector - “Hmm… let me check to see whether you are really telling the truth. I’ll check or pockets now”
So there I was, with the inspector scanning my pockets with his hands making sure I wasn’t concealing anything. It looked odd, with me wearing my specs and being interrogated by the inspector like I’m some convict. I wanted to get out of there. After having been assured that I actually did only have 20 Rupees with me, he took it and bought 4 tickets from another bus passing by and gave them to me saying that NOW I have TICKETS to use.

After having showcased his sarcasm or humour(or whatever it was), he let me off the hook with a warning telling me not to do it again. I complied and immediately turned towards the direction of my school and started walking towards it. I reached just in time for my exam with minutes to spare before it started. Whew!

Author's Note

Just a piece I took from my blog, about my misadventures while traveling the dreaded metro buses in Chennai, India

Reviews

[Elemenopy]

I think you could have done so much more with this piece, had you wrote it from a different standpoint. I know it is from your blog, but as far as stories go it is incredibly hard to read and even harder to follow. This is mainly due to the gigantic paragraph you have in the middle of the piece. Break it up, make it easier for the reader, and put a little description in there. I felt like you were jumping from I did this I did this I did this then that then this. It made the piece choppy and difficult to read.

Really, this feels like I am reading an entry in a diary...which I guess is all that a blog is, but still. When I read a story, I want to feel like I am reading a story, not the ramblings of someones day. Anyways, that is all I will say, do with it what you will. Keep writing.

[FJ Davis]

Intriguing, Murtuza. You depict some of your mundane irritations very well.

[2Real2BTrue]

Wow, that sounds awful! There's not even a bus near where I live, so I really can't imagine. Really well written, though, I love the metaphor "the passengers dispersed from the bus like leaking water from a bottle". Good job :)