Broken Sun.

A Story by M.K. JOSEPH

No one knows what tomorrow brings. You could have it all today and nothing tomorrow. With a blink of an eye you could lose all that matters to you most. And that is when the sun stops shining.

Five months ago, my Saturdays always started late; I would wake up at around 11:00 am. Wash my face and brush off the stale stinky breath and the awful taste of the previous night’s booze from my mouth. Am not a heavy drinker, so most of the time when I do indulge you’d probably find me with a bottle of beer. And men do they make your body stink! But the day is still too young for a shower.

Instead of breakfast, I’d mix a glass of carbonated water, lemon and brandy just enough to stop the quarry-works going on inside my head. My hangovers are always worse on Saturday mornings. After swallowing few painkillers my wife always has on standby for me, the headache eases and I can work. I do the mowing, trim the hedge. Clean the garage and sometimes repair my wife’s garden’s fence. I wash my car and inspect my wife’s Mercedes Benz e350. (Since the car stalled on her in the middle of the M106 highway one day due to an overheat I took it upon myself to be checking the radiator and filling up other fluids the car might need). Then I’d proceed to the house where I’d find a fine meal waiting for me. She always made chicken.

It is my favorite.

After lunch I would sit down and catch a game or two on the television. If there weren’t any I would watch reruns. I would not get up till it was well past 11:00pm on most occasions. And by then, there would be a dozen or more empty White Cap beer cans laying on the coffee table. Then I would retire.

That was basically my Saturday routine. But not today. Today, I woke up at 05:03 am. Took a shower, warmed up for about thirty minutes by doing push-ups, a couple pull-ups and dozen more sit-ups. Then I jogged for less than ten minutes but more than last time and walked the rest of the journey. 10 kilometers in total. Am trying a new lifestyle. The healthy kind. I have not touched a beer in ten days now.

Ben, my college buddy and best man at my wedding passed away and we lay him to rest three weeks ago. The doctor said it was Cardiac Arrest. It could happen to anyone. But it’s ten times more likely to strike people who don’t exercise more often, those who do not watch what they eat and most commonly at a young age to lads with bad habits same as the ones Ben and I had; drinking and watching T.V. whenever we are not working

Ben was just thirty five. Single and rich. What a big lose!

It could have happened to anyone. It could have been me and the thought stunned me to the core. Ben did not have children, but I have a two year old daughter. And a wife. I love them so much. If I died who would take care of my Mary and Janet? I would not want to leave them alone, so I started eating right and working out. My daily target is twenty push-ups, twenty pull-ups and thirty two sit-ups and ten kilometers walk or jog daily.

From there, I took another shower, had healthy breakfast and played hide and seek for twenty-five minutes with my daughter. I read a newspaper. Most pages were about war on terror and corruption so I set it down and picked book on economics. I analyzed a topic on macroeconomics for forty five minutes then went through some paper work from the office. I’m the CEO and founder of Young Farmer Dairy. A local company that deals in dairy product. My company sits on 1500 acre ranch. I own 15,000 dairy cattle and anything that can be produced out of milk Young Farmer Dairy produces. But my real passion is in aviation. I am a pilot with a local airline so my wife; the Managing director of the company does most of the supervision and the books. But I like looking at what’s going on once in a while.

When I leave the study, it is about 10:30 am. Time for my last personal activity. I kiss my daughter goodbye and promise to be back just in time for lunch at our favorite spot; under a pine tree and after that go for ice cream. I drive off and head to Nairobi Shooting Center. Since the death of my best friend, I have also developed interest in doing all the things I have always wanted to do but had not done. Ben had always wanted to bungee jump but the death had knocked him cold and unexpectedly. So I was not going to leave like he did. I would do all I ever dreamed of. And in two weeks, I had bungee jumped, sky dived twice and now I was taking sharp shooting lessons. This was my eighth class and not blowing my own trumpet, I was getting pretty good and fast at it.

I was inching closer and closer to the center of the target by every shot I took and today I had that gut feeling that I was going to hit the bulls-eye.

Right in the middle.

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It is 12:30 when I leave the Shooting Centre. The traffic is moderate and a drive that normally would have taken me fifteen minutes takes about twenty five. I get home just in time for lunch however, late to eat with my daughter. She has already fed. But she still joins me under our tree and takes few bites of my food before getting bored and starts playing. It is not chicken.

Fifty minutes pass while I still play with my food under the company of my wife. We chat as I complete the crossword section on the morning newspaper. When I finish, I play chase with my daughter after she persistently asks me to but I tire out fast. I get sleepy but I cannot afford to go to bed. I take a quick shower, the third for the day. My daughter and I have a date and I have to keep my promise to her. I do not want to be the first man she ever trusted that is going to break her heart and show her what the world is truly like. Never.

Janet, my wife, is not coming with us. She has things to do. So Mary and I hit the road. It is about 2 pm now and the traffic is beefing up slowly and steady. We take the first left we see and accelerate to a hundred for the next five hundred meters. Two more consecutive left turns follow then a right one that exits us from the freeway and places us right in the middle of Jefferson way. Traffic is dense here and we kill time by playing a mind game, listen to Hynie the laughing hyena song. Thirty minutes later we see The Dome. It is a dome shaped shopping mall. The largest with fifteen kilometers from where I live. Ten minutes later, we are parked in the second basement. We take a lift and come to a halt three floors up. Normally I would not allow Mary to take anything cold when it is already past 4pm however, I let her have some frozen yogurt as long as she does not tell her mother. We have a deal.

She is excited and she tells me stories. We are best of friends now. An hour goes by without knowing it. By the time I look at my watch, it is already fifteen minutes past five. It is time to go home now. I have a football match to watch. I pay in cash and we leave the frozen yogurt place. But before we get to the lift to take us back to the basement parking lot, Mary shakes my hand. I lean over to look at her, she is looking at me.

‘Daddy, can I have umings please?’ she begs

She has said please and that is what we have taught her. To use the word whenever she is asking for something so there is no way I can say no to her. However, I have no idea what she is referring to.

‘What’s that?’

‘Umings’ she repeats and gestures. Now I know it is something edible but still have no clue what she is talking about

‘What’s uming?’ am puzzled

‘Daddy uming’ she is getting frustrated now. She pulls my hand with her tiny hand and points at a small store to my right. I walk with her to the shop.

The cashier is a tall slender lady. Early thirties or late twenties. She’s wearing a sleeveless blouse with long neck but with an opening at the chest area. The cleavage is deep. She’s light and I can tell it is genuine from her thighs which are exposed by the orange miniskirt she is wearing. Out of ten, she is an eight. Am light skinned too but a six on the scale out of ten. There is something about light skinned ladies that gets me excited that I can’t tell what. My wife is a nine and Mary has taken after her. She is a nine and a half.

We walk straight to her. I greet her and she says hello back without looking at me for more than two seconds. She is chewing gum and reading a magazine. I am married and I know I should not be seeking attention but I feel like I deserve more than a two seconds stare. Or is it because I have a daughter? Or is it cause of the wedding ring?

‘Do you have umings?’ I say and I hear myself. I sound stupid. The lady frowns and looks at me as if am crazy and I quickly turn to my little girl.

‘I have no idea what those are but she wants them’ Mary doesn’t say a word and so does the cashier. There is silence for five seconds and it feels like an hour. Then she stops chewing, throws the gum into the bin next to her and says

‘You will have to look, I don’t know what those are’

This time she tries to grin. She got perfect white teeth and a nice smile. I can smell her cologne now. Strong and weak at the same time. Her make up is light and she is smooth. I wonder what it would feel like to touch her skin but I shake off the thought quickly.

‘I have a feeling we’ll be here for a long time’ I say and smile

Now she looks at me ‘your daughter?’

‘Yes’

‘How old?’

‘Two years’

‘She’s is pretty’ she says and extends a hand to touch Mary’s tiny fingers.

‘She takes after her mother’ I say and I do not know why I bite my tongue. She giggles and says am a lucky man

‘I guess I am’. I say and walks away. I whisper to Mary to show me what umings are and she leads the way. Behind, the cashier is staring at us. I can see her through the big circular convex mirror on the opposite wall.

I still got it.

We walk for fifteen minutes. Cover all the ten aisles. Twenty one shelves but still we find nothing. I am tired and need to get home. I woke up so early and the exercise got me so exhausted. I need a rest. So I convince Mary we try the supermarket on the other side of the mall. She agrees and we walk towards the cashier who is serving a customer. I don’t know why but I feel the need to bid her adieu. As we reach the counter Mary pulls my hand as she points on a four feet quadrant shelf next to the counter. It is stashed with sweets and chewing gum on the first three shelves and Farmers Choice Nyamabites (meat bites) which are basically cooked meat rolled to sausage like shape, but bigger. Mary points at them as she hops with excitement. I reach out and draw out ten. Mary jumps some more as she jubilates. By now the customer has left and the cashier is looking at us smiling. At least we now know what umings are though how and why she called them that we might never know.

I ask Mary if she wants some more and she nods yes. I add five more and place all of them on the counter. The lady runs them through a code scanner one by one and the total 1500 KES. I reach to my pocket but I don’t have cash. So I fish out my credit card and give it to her. She stares at it for five more seconds and her face lights up and I know why. Am a holder of platinum card with my bank and you don’t hold that card unless your monthly income is 2 million or more. I get 15 million

She swipes and I put it my pin number. Too bad I don’t have cash I would have left her a big tip just to see her facial expression. So far, it’s priceless. She is warmer to me now and talking none stop. She has complemented my hair, my clothes my smile and even more complements have gone to my daughter. All this while I smile and say ‘just like her mother’ and I study her. She doesn’t like that and ignores that I even have a wife

When the transaction is done. I take my card and put it in my wallet making sure I flash all the cards I have with other banks. All are platinum and gold. I say thank you and take the bites. I pick and place my daughter on my left hip and support her from the bottom with the left hand making sure my wedding ring is well seen. I say goodbye, smile and leave. I read the disappointment in her eyes. Am sure she wanted me to take her number and I smile within.

‘Daddy still got it’ I whisper into my daughter’s ears and kiss her on the cheek.

‘Daddy suusuu’.

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It would have been such a perfect exit had Mary not said that she wants to pee. ‘Daddy suusuu’ she repeats and I have to turn back. I do not know whether I would be able to hold myself and not get too comfortable with the cashier. She is pretty and light skinned. Just my type. I feel intimidated but then I have to do it for my daughter. If I stay any longer, she will wet herself. And that is bad.

‘Where is the washroom?’ I ask and I can tell she knows who wants to use it.

‘Sorry the one we have is for staff only’ she points her two index fingers at herself. Red nail polish. Slender long fingers, perfect nails. I think to myself.

‘But I can let her use it just this once’ she says and smiles. She bends over to pick a bunch of keys. The stretches her arms towards Mary.

‘Come here pretty’ I handed over my daughter and say thank you. They disappear behind a single wooden door on the left. Now I am left alone looking after the shop.

Now we’re doing favors for one another huh? I think and smile.

The entrance door opens and a small bell suspended over it chimes jolting me out of my thoughts. Three teenagers walk in. Two boys and a girl. They look tired and high like they were from a concert or night club. But it is still early. I look at my watch, it is 2 minutes shy of 6 pm. My wife has not called and I think I should give her a call. But then she will request to speak to her daughter and Mary is not here. So I settle on calling her once we get into the car. I look around. The three have split. The boys are on the liquor section and the girl is standing next to the snacks. They both have a shopping basket which they fill up with liquor and snacks. Cigarettes and condoms. From what I can tell, the party has not yet started and it is for more than just the three.

They then regroup and walk to the counter. I smile and said hi. Only the lady smiles back at me. I quickly study all the three of them and conclude that the girl is the youngest. About seventeen years old. The boys are probably nineteen. The girl and the boy standing to my right must have been siblings. There is too much resemblance. The other is a friend. Maybe the girl’s boyfriend as he cannot keep his tongue out of the girl’s mouth. I feel uncomfortable and stare at the door. Where is my daughter?

‘What are you waiting for? Serve us’ the boyfriend shouts and I swear I feel like shoving my fist down his throat.

‘Am not the cashier’ I say trying to remain calm

‘Then where is the cashier old man?’

‘Mike, stop.’ the girl interjects. I am getting angry. Am only thirty six dude.

‘Relax, she will be here in a minute.’ I try to be as calm as I can. He makes some comments and the two boys laugh. The girl apologizes for their behavior and I try to understand them. Where is the respect with today’s kids?

I look at my watch again. Five minutes had passed since the cashier and Mary left. What could be taking them too long? I am starting to get worried but I decide to give them two more minutes then I’d go in. Then the door opens and Mary comes out first. She smiles at me and I smile back. The cashier follows.

From nowhere mike produces an AMT hardballer. He points it towards the cashier and she gasps .My daughter hides behind her. I can see her little frightened face peeking from the cashier’s back. My heart skips a beat. The girlfriend gets mad and screams’ Mike, put the gun down’. The second boy shows no reaction.

‘She made us wait. Do you think you’re more important than us?’ he asks angrily

‘Please there is no need for this’ I say

‘Shut up!’ now the gun is pointed at me

‘Mike, put the gun down. What are you doing?’

We now stare at each other. His eyes are bloodshot. So is the other guy. Whatever that was that they had taken, it seems like it is the girl who had taken the least. I suspect cocaine but reserve my comments. His hands are shaking and he is sweating. At some point I actually thought the gun was going to go off accidentally. Then he moves closer to the cashier. Mary is shaking and she starts to cry. She wants to come to me but Mike stops her. I plead with him to let her go but he refuses. I love my daughter so much. She is my life and if he dares tries to hurt her I will kill him with my bare hands. I just pray it never gets to that point.

He is holding my daughter’s right hand. The gun is alternating between me and the cashier. I reason with him and actually tell him to leave the shop and take anything they want. I’ll pay. From what I know, people under the influence are unreasonable and easily agitated and am trying my best to calm him down. He refuses and says the money is not the problem. He is not a robber and this is not robbery. His issue is that he was kept waiting. According to him, he is not respected and he demands respect. We explain why the cashier was away and assure him that everyone respects him. His girlfriend shouts at him and I gesture her to stop talking. She’s not helping the situation. This kids are on drugs and they are not thinking straight. The only reasonable thing is to subject to him and reason out together. But he is very unreasonable.

The girlfriend remains quiet for half a minute then speaks. She threatens to leave him if he does not stop and he gets mad. She takes out a gun. There are two guns now and threatens to shot him if he doesn’t stop. I look at the third teenager and I bet he has a gun too. It is only a matter of time before takes it out as well but he remains still and emotionless. He says nothing. Who are this guys?

I move two steps from the counter.

‘Do not move’ Mike shouts and I stop. Mary looks at me and I look at her. She tries to get free from him and come to me but Mike yanks her backwards. He hits the back of her head with the gun and she falls down. He then kicks her on the belly with his foot so hard that Mary slides about a meter on the floor. The cashier screams. My blood freezes and my body becomes numb. My mind stops working and I don’t think. I am no longer the reasonable one. I jump and grab the gun from the girl and shoots. Two shots consecutively. Two different directions. Mike falls down first then the second boy. Each with a perfect bullet hole on their forehead. Am shaking. The girls is shocked and she falls next to the brother screaming. The cashier is kneeling next to Mary. She is unconscious and blood is coming out of her mouth and nape. I cannot see clearly. Am sweating and tearing up at the same time. I drop the gun and pick my daughter. I shout to the cashier to call an ambulance.

Five minutes later, the ambulance arrives. I handle my daughter to the paramedics. My heart is pounding and my mind is racing. I jump into the back of the ambulance. The cashier comes to me, hands me a piece of paper and tells me to call her and let her know how things go. I say nothing and the door closes. The siren comes on we speed to the hospital.

Please lord, not my daughter….

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I keep staring at my watch as I walk up and down the waiting room. I wonder how long it is going to be before I see a doctor. It has been thirty minutes since we got to the hospital but it feels like a year to me. I have called my wife already though I did not say much. The conversation went something like this.

‘Hello honey’

‘Janet….’

‘What is the matter Harry? Is everything okay? You called me Janet. You never call me that. Tell me honey, what is it?’

‘Stop freaking out. It is nothing’

‘Where is Mary?’

‘She is fine’

‘Where is she? Let me talk to her’

‘That is not possible now’

‘Why? What is it? Oh my god, my baby’

‘Sweetheart, relax. Mary is fine, just a small accident. We are at Getrich Medical Centre…’

‘Oh my god!...Oh my god!....’

‘Janet…..honey….are you there?’

The call did not end. I know she is on her way and she is probably going crazy. At this time the traffic is too much and she will probably get here an hour later. I sit down and think. But there is nothing. I don’t know if Mary is going to be fine or not but I pray she will be. I have shot two kids. There is no doubt they will not be fine. They are dead. The shots were so clean and accurate. The sharp shooting lessons paid off. But I wonder what will happen next. Will I be arrested and charged with murder? What if I claim self-defense? That might have a chance with Mike but not the second guy. Why did I shoot him?

I am freaking out. I thought he had a gun and would shoot me so I had to take him out. Why? Why? Why is this happening to me?

My hands are still shaking. I tried taking water before but could not. I need to know what the situation is like at the shop. Am sure the shop is closed and is now a crime scene. The police are already there and the forensic guys too. I know they already have the security camera footage and the investigations have started. The only person who can tell me what is going on is the cashier. I got her number.

I know it is a mistake but I still punch in the numbers on my phone. If she gets hold of my number it will be hard for us to stop talking. If I do not call her she will call me. Probably ask how Mary is doing for an ice breaker. I love my wife. I have never cheated on her and would never do. But am a man too and she is pretty. Am so weak right now and vulnerable. Am not thinking straight…

The phone rings thrice then a woman voice comes on. She sounds even sexier on phone. I shut my eyes, rub my forehead and tell myself to focus. I tell her what is happening which I do not know much. She comforts me and tells me it will be fine. Again, I hope it will be fine. Then I ask whether the police have arrived and what they have said. She keeps quiet for a while. I hear siren in the background and noises. She informs me the police are there already. The bodies are there too. The footage is still in the control room and I want to tell her to lose it then we can make a better story of what happened so that I don’t get charged with murder. Then I think that is a stupid plan. The bodies are still there and police are having a difficult time keeping the growing crowd out of the shop. The forensic unit has not yet arrived and nothing can be moved till they come. The girl has been taken away but she is so shocked. She might need therapy. She made comments about drugs. I was right, they were high on cocaine. That offers relief for a moment till she tells me

‘You could be in big trouble though’. Her voice is low and sympathetic

‘What do you mean?’ I ask but I know why. I killed two people. But as I later learn those were not just people

‘The kids are well connected. Big fish’. She continues. I swallow hard as my heart sinks

‘How big are we talking here?’ I ask and continues. I try to be strong by my voice betrays me. I quiver ‘big shark, or big whale?’

‘The quiet one is the girls elder brother. The two are children of Mr. Paul. Kingpin and a drug lord. He got money and influence. The crazy one is the governor’s son’. My heart sinks farther and I get lost in the moment. I hear her talk but am not listening. All I can think of is how dead I am. I know Mr. Paul. He is on the United States of America black books. He is the fish of the fishes. I bet he knows Pablo Escobar. When she is done talking, I tell her I will call her back and hang up. I know I will not call her anytime soon.

I look at my watch. One hour has gone. I walk to the reception, I step outside for walk in the parking lot. I go all the way up to the cafeteria. I am prohibited from entering the ward area as the visiting hours are over so I return to the waiting area where I find a female doctor waiting for me. What is with the light skinned ladies today? They are killing it.

I do not analyze her so much. I don’t have time for that but the miniskirt looks good on her.

‘How is my baby?’ I ask without greeting her. She tells me to have a seat and my heart race. She offers me water and I say no. I want answers. I want to know if my daughter is well or not. The gory image of her bloody face is tormenting my soul. Please, just tell me she is okay. That’s all

‘When you came in we took Mary for an RMI and the imaging showed multiple fractures in the skull. The blow must have been heavy’. She starts after taking me through five minutes of nice chit chat what was like counseling. I am frightened and sweating. She offers me a tissue paper.

‘Is she going to be okay?’

She remains quiet then, ‘so we took her straight to the theater. Three qualified doctors worked on her but the damage was too much. She had hematoma which is the bleeding of the brain. Blood was clotting in her brain and that caused brain death to half of her brain. We did the best we could’. She goes on. She uses big medical words that make no sense to me. I shut off completely and drift off.

Mary was beautiful. The only daughter I had. Named after my mother. She had a perfect smile and chubby little hands. She loved to play a lot and I knew she was going to grow up to a strong independent woman. She was going to conquer the world. I was going to raise her well. I saw her smile. We had sang together in the car. She wanted ice cream, I bought her frozen yogurt instead. We had our own secret. We were the ultimate father and daughter crew. I was her prince and she was my princess.

I rise and stroll. Behind me I hear the beautiful doctor say ‘am really sorry for your loss’. She does not get it. It is not a loss, it is my entire life. My joy. Now I am as good as dead which I would be soon anyway. I pass the theater. Stare at it for a while and think. Why have a big expensive room if you cannot save a life? Tears trickle down and I let them run down my cheeks. I walk, pass the reception area. I do not know where I am going. I am just lost. Then the big rotating glass door opens and Janet walks in. She runs and hugs me and starts crying when she sees me crying.

‘Where is Mary?’ she asks and she sounds like she already knows. Why else would I be crying?

‘Is she alright?’ she continues and I weep. She screams and I tell her it is going to be okay. Mary is fine in heaven. She is an angel now. I whisper to her and we both sink to the floor.

In tears.