Why
Awaken?
Written
By Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham
Copyright
© 2012 Marvin Thomas Cox
DBA:
Marvin Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham
All
Rights Reserved
To
your loving memory,
I
awaken each morning,
your
face ever before me,
your
name upon my lips.
How
long shall I miss you,
call
your name at night,
see
your coffin lowered,
knowing
in it you lie?
What
peace is there found,
after
the saddest of days,
your
life tragically over,
my
life no longer a life?
What
hope can be had,
I
will see you no more?
Life
must go on it's said.
I
pray, it goes on, without me ...
(Written
November 22nd, 2012)
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My wife & I split up years ago and she divorced me in 2011 & I really didn't see us ever getting back together again with me figuring that I had lost my wife, my love, my life for good, (we got back together in 2014 & remarried May 7th, 2021) and suddenly I met and found myself having fallen for a young woman much too young for me and whom I knew I could never have or hold. I cared for her deeply, but her uncle was my closest friend, and her Dad was also my friend, so I behaved properly, kept an honorable distance, tried to help her in every way I could and loved her in a way that is called Platonic Love. She knew I was in love with her, and told her cheating boyfriend (somehow she always picked losers and cheaters as boyfriends) so one evening on her front porch with me standing across the road watching them fuss, wherein he had uttered the fix your screw words of a liar, "But, baby, I love you!" Instantly, she angrily exclaimed, "No! You don't! Marvin does I know he does!" She texted me most every day, and would hang around with her brother so that I could manage to see and be around her as much as possible. Her boyfriend(s) always sensed how I felt and resented my presence so much that one night I texted her and told her that I couldn't see her anymore, because I felt I was messing he life up by being around ... I couldn't managed to do that, because she was such a joy to be around ... And so, months later something or other came up in conversation, and I said that I hoped I hadn't hurt her feelings. She responded by telling me that the only time I had ever hurt her feelings was the night I texted her and told her I could not see or be around her anymore. I knew right then that she had some feelings, no matter how small, for me. But, it sort of scared me, because I knew I still loved my Ex-wife as well ... Finally, she opened a window of opportunity for me, and instinctively my mouth told her that I would always love my wife, though I truly was in love with her and had no clue at the time that my Ex-wife and I would ever be together again. She killed herself shortly after that, as an act that I shall forever feel responsible for as a result of my words to her spoken out of an honest heart ... She died in 2012 ... Thus, I have loved two women in my life, and both of them are ow dead ... Fact is truly stranger than any fictional tale ever to be told ...
Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham
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