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First episode of a series of a individual coming back home after four years at college and the adjustment that proceeds.

Doctors Office-

 

Doctor: Can you please stop clenching?

Jon: As I lay on the table and unclenched my butt cheeks the pain subsided from the lydocane needle that was pulled out of the boil on the top of my a*s crack.  Even though I had not been able to sit for two days, I had a doctor lancing a pilonidal cyst all I could think about was Lyla. It was my first date really ever and the first girl I have really talked to since my ex broke up with me after I graduated and came back home!

Doctor:  I am going to bandage you up now and you are going to have to keep this spot covered for at least 24 hours.

Jon: Ok thank you so much for fitting me in its been a rough few days

Doctor: I understand it was extremely big and needed to be lanced.  If any issues arise let me know and do you have any questions before I go?

Jon: No I am ok have a nice day
Mom:  Can Jonathan drive? He has his first date tonight!

Doctor: No drving for 24 hours as well

-Doctor Exits

Jon- Are you serious…..

Mom: I wanted to know so I asked what’s the problem

Jon: You said I had a date tonight!!!

Mom: Well… maybe I shouldn’t have said that but boosie I am just so excited that you are getting out there again since… you know.

Jon: Please just take me home this is a nightmare; I got to figure out a plan for tonight

Mom: Well your or father I can take you?

 

Drive to Lylas (Pulling out of driveway)

 

Mom: Bye Jonathan have fun! But not too much!

 

Jon: As I uncomfortably sat in the back of the car trying to find a sittable position for the journey I waved back at my mom feeling completely emasculated as my father drove me to the date.  Im 22 years old, how the hell am I going to explain this one to Lyla!

Jon: You can say hello and introduce yourself but please don’t talk to her at all, I don’t want this to be more awkward then its going to be.

Dad: I know the drill, don’t worry about a thing, just have a good time.  I will be silent and not say a word.

Jon: But don’t be too… ughhhhh just be cool.

 

 

Lyla’a House:

 

Jon: As I knocked on the door, my hands sweating feverishly, I had so many different feelings going on and was barely keeping everything together.  I heard her coming towards the door I was so excited, here I go, you can do this.

Lyla: Hey there

Jon: You look gorgeous.  I hope your as excited as I am.

Lyla: Arcade and Batting Cages, come on who wouldn’t be!

Jon: There is just one thing that I gotta….

Lyla: Who is that man in front of my condo and what is he doing with his arm pit?

Jon: My father has this serial habit of raising his arm and itching his arm pit.  He would do it anywhere from a baseball game to a family dinner to a movie, anywhere you can think of but why does he have to be doing it in front of Lyla’s house!

Jon: So I had to go to the doctor this morning and I cant drive today so my dad had to drive us.  I am so sorry I know this is not ideal but I really did not want to reschedule because I really wanted to see you.

Lyla: Aww that’s really sweet but do you want to reschedule if you are not feeling great?

Jon: No not at all, I am not sick at all.  Its not like that.

Lyla: If you don’t mind me asking whats wrong

Jon: As I standed there just looking into her eyes thinking of an answer I blurted out….!

Jon: Bruised tailbone, I bruised my tailbone last night its no big deal

Lyla: Ouch how did that happen?

Jon: It happened while I was working nothing serious fortunately.

Jon: Sooo my dad will not be too bad I promise I told him to behave Im so sorry again

Lyla: Stop worrying its gonna be fun

Car Ride

Jon Opens door for Lyla

Dad: Well hello miss….. (as he tips his cap)

Lyla: Hello Mr. Benson, My names Lyla Adams and I really appreciate you driving us tonight.

Dad: Anytime and Call me Albert, I will be your chauffer tonight Miss Adams.

Jon: Dad…. No More… Come On

Dad: Im done Im done I promise

Jon: Im so sorry about this I completely understand if you never want to see me again after tonight.

Lyla: He is just being friendly cut him some slack (laughing)

Dad: Thank you for the support Miss Adams (tips cap again) We will be departing now so fasten your seatbelts children!

Jon: STOP ITTTTT

Dad: Im sorry Im sorry

Lyla: So what did you do the rest of the day besides your doctor appointment

 

Mom’s Room:

 

Jon: F**k that hurt (As Albert Rips bandage off Jons A*s)

Mom: Ooo it looks so much smaller then before there is still a lot of blood and stuff coming out of it, this doctors real good I am happy I found him.  He is the best in anal fissures in the whole county.

Jon: Thanks for the update can we just try and get this done as quick as possible, I wish I could do this myself

Dad: Definitely want to double gauze and bandage so there are no issues for tonight

Jon: yes that’s a great idea, If it comes off Im screwed and have no idea what I will do.

Mom: It wont don’t worry (As I lay on her bed and she puts multiple piece of gauzes on my wound and tapes over it vehemently.)

Mom: You know this is going to hurt when it comes off right?

Jon: I know I know I don’t care I just want this not to come off tonight and I want to go get ready.

 

Back To Car:

Jon: Just watched some Netflix and did a little writing nothing too exciting, what did you do?

Lyla: So what do you write about?

Jon: Well I like to write about my experiences, Its not serious writing, its just sort of an escape and a way to express myself.  I don’t know, that sounds too common of answer I feel my writing is unique because nobody could write about what I write about because its about me.  I hate writing papers and such but writing like that I really enjoy.

Lyla: That’s so cool, do you show it to people ever?

Dad: I didn know you write Jonathan?

Jon: Dad can you please just drive!

Dad: Well I just didn’t know and its very surprising to me

Jon: Well I write Dad and we can just walk from here if you don’t mind Lyla?

Lyla: Not at all its beautiful out tonight

Dad: Have fun and be safe, when should I pick you guys up?

Jon: Ill let you know bye.

 

Exit Car (Walking Towards Arcade)

 

Jon: Thank god that is over.  Its my time to shine. And damn she looks so fine and she is just awesome, I really don’t want to ruin this.  I want this to work!

Jon: I promise this is the last time but Im sorry for that again, I had a feeling he was gonna act out but I promise if we do this again I will drive no matter how much pain I am in!

Lyla; Well it was not that bad and its just you and me now so we don’t have to worry about it!

 

 

 

 

 

Walk Into Arcade-

 

Store Employee: Hey Benson do you wan the usual?

Jon: Make it two this time Ernie you’re the man

Lyla: So I am guessing you come here a lot and may I ask what the “usual” is?

Jon: Yeah you can say that for sure, It’s the only place around and they got a great selection of games, people may say this is only for kids but this stuff is fun no matter what age!

Lyla: Your too much Jon, so whats the usual you didn’t tell me?

Jon: Well its 25 arcade tokens, 1 Batting Cage, and a Personal Pizza, pretty fancy I know!

Lyla: I don’t know if I can handle of all that but I will try and lets try this one first!

 

Montage: Playing Different Games/ Batting Cages (KIDS MGMT)

 

Store Employee: Benson Party Of 2 Your Pizza Is Ready (Loudspeaker)

Lyla: Ooo yess I am starving!

Jon: Me Too lets Go?
Lyla: So hows the pizza here?

Jon: Umm its….

(Shot of pizza- ultra greasy)

Jon: Well its good but you gotta do a grease blot first for sure

Lyla: Grease Blot?

Jon: Im weird with words I like to shorten them and I do it without even realizing but just when you pick up some of the excess grease on the slice with a napkin or two

Lyla: Ooo that’s so interesting but my family has a different method

Jon: No way what is it?

 

Lyla Walks To The Counter and Picks Up A Paper Plate Then Sits Down

 

Lyla: You just lightly press the other plate on it and unlike your method (joking) no cheese comes off!

Look at Jon’s Slice Destroyed From Grease Blot

Jon: Just letting you know I may steal that method!

Jon: And then I felt it…The rumble in my stomach and I knew the impending danger that was ahead.  I was scared, real scared and I knew I had to get to the bathroom ASAP)

Jon: Lyla I gotta go to the bathroom, Ill be right back

(Jon walks awkwardly to the bathroom holding it all in)

Lyla: Are you okay?

Jon: Ooo I am fine nothing to worry about

 

Enters Bathroom Runs To Open Stall

 

Sits Down On Toilet

Jon: What the f**k,  Are you kidding me, I am screwed

(Jon stands up off toilet and realizes he cannot poop because of the bandage on his butt)

Reaches For Cell Phone

Jon: Mom what do I do, I have to s**t and the bandage is covering my a*****e!!!!  Why did we not think of this?

Mom: I will send your father to come get you now he will be there soon!

Jon: No are you crazy forget it I am fine and Dad does not have to come later I am going to get us a taxi.

Mom: Jonathan that is not safe, your father can get you.

Jon: Noo Mom I am 22 and I am an a adult and I can handle this. I will see you tomorrow morning (Hangs Up)

Jon: F**k It here it goes (Rips off bandage and lets out a huge scream)

(Kids scurry out of the bathroom)

 

Walking Out Of Bathroom

 

Lyla: Hey you were in there a long time is everything okay?

Jon: Yeah I am fine just a few of the toilets were not working so there were a few people in front of me but lets keep playing that one is my favorite over there I have the high score!

Lyla: Well I bet you that I can beat you

Jon: I didn’t know you were such a comedian but really this is my best game I would not want to take anything from you so easy it just wouldn’t be fair?

Lyla: Name it?

Jon: Well you bet me so you choose?

Lyla: Lets just figure it out after I beat you?

 

Lyla and Jon Start Playing

 

Jon: Where have you played this before?  This is not your first time

Lyla: Your not the only one who goes to arcades Jon

 

Two Minuets Later

 

Jon: Are you f*****g kidding me? Oh s**t I didn’t mean to say that, Well I just never lose at that game!

Lyla: I told you and now I gotta think about our bet still and what you owe me!

Jon: Okay that sounds fair to me, I am just going to go cash in our tickets and Ill meet you at the prize counter.

 

As Jon Walks To the counter, Lyla notices a huge blood stain on the back of Jon’s shorts

 

Lyla: Oh my god Jon what’s wrong?

Jon: What are you talking about?

Lyla: Your bleeding.  Your shorts

 

Jon: No No No No No, what do I say?

Jon: I was not completely honest before

Lyla: That cannot be from a bruised tailbone.

Jon: I had a cyst removed from my tailbone today and unfortunately I had to take the bandage off and I am an idiot and didn’t realize that this was probably gonna happen.

Lyla: A Pilonidal Cyst, my older brother had one.  I know how painful it is and I understand why you didn’t tell me but I definitely think we should go so you can re bandage that and it does not get infected.

Jon: Yeah your right we should go (Devesated)

 

Taxi ( Jon is laying on his stomach in the back and Lyla is in the front)

Jon: I hope you had fun until the incident

Lyla: Yeah Jon I had a great time and don’t be so hard on yourself, its not your fault and I am not just saying that, I really did have a good time.

 

Arrive at Lyla’s

Lyla: Thanks so much Jon I had so much fun

Jon: Let me walk you to your door

Lyla: Come on Jon don’t be silly

Jon: I insist (Wiggles way out of car on stomach)

 

Get to the door

Jon: Well I completely understand if you don’t want to hang out again but I had such a fun time spending time with you and if your interested I would love to take you out again…

Lyla: Dammint!

Jon: What?

Lyla: That was going to be the bet, I was going to make you take me out again because I destroyed you at that game.

Jon: Are You…. Well awesome that’s amazing

Lyla: I gotta go to sleep though but I will text you tomorrow, your sweet and take care of your butt. (Kiss on the cheek)

 

Lyla Closes Door (Jon proceeds to fist pump in excitement and jump in down, when all of a sudden Lyla reopens the door)

Lyla: your ridiculous, but in a good way (Closes door and all Jon can do is Blush)

 

Taxi (Jon wiggles into back seat on his stomach)

Driver: She likes you brother, not many girls would stay with a guy who has a bloody old a*s

Jon: I hope your right man, I hope your right.