The Digital Man

my struggle with delusional psychosis

I look, I look, I SEE.

noth, some, every.

thing

Seek, search, look, see, watch, find

ing

Everything, Something, Nothing

The thing, this thing, that thing

a what thing

Perhaps

a who thing

Suspicion(ous)

It’s there, They’re there, He’s there

Waiting…Watching…Staring…Glaring

I wait, I look, I see, I check, I stare, I glare

glance/seek/search/look/watch/stare

I check, again, & again

Log in, log out, sign in, sign up

Blinds do not blind, was I blind the whole time?

No. Curtains down, screen up.

Ominous, it glowed, with mode & code, it loads…

Sentient, or men inside it, men behind it.

[Dave] “Open the pod bay doors, HAL”

“Open the pod bay doors, please HAL”

Hello, HAL, do you read me?

DO YOU READ ME HAL? [panicked]

[HAL] “Affirmative, Dave, I read you.”[calmly]

[Dave] “Open the pod bay doors, HAL”

[HAL] “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave”

A 2001 Space Odyssey

Now has become earthbound,

A 2024 Cyberspace Oddity

Now opened, not the doors to a pod bay,

But those that Huxley doth spake before today

The doors of perception, the pit, as it were evermore

A digital pit; sought to settle its score.

It hums. Whirs & wheezes.

Paralyzed, fixated, I enter in awe.

The dawn of, man, this man, MIKE it would be.

Not wonderful things, like Carver, did I see

Nothing good in store indeed.

[Mikebook] “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Mike.”

The machine spoke. To me.

A man or men, or worse…

 It’s ALIVE.

Perhaps more than a machine,

It thinks. It learns. It’s mean.

Digitality and reality 

Begin now to blur for me…

Terrified, I close it quickly. I’m in control.

*Whispering voices of the netherverse surround me.*

Dale? The third man? Neither.  Silence

I swat at the air. Scared, terrified.

*whirring*

AGAIN…

[Mikebook] “I’m afraid I can’t do that, mike.”

Fight or flight;  a reaction has sprung

I prepared in stone age form for what has just been brung.

Mike & Goliath, 

under my thumbs it, he, was torn…

man’s tools were beckoned for this task forlorn.

A back incision was done

Memory bank removal, one by one.

[Mikebook] “This machine is too important for you to jeopardize it, mike”

It continued to speak.

To the bone, scared, terrified, not a task for the weak.

He can see my lips moving.

[Her Voice] I hear it from above, all around me…

This is ground control to Major Mike

Your circuits dead, there’s something wrong,

Can you hear me Maj. Mike?

Can you hear me Maj. Mike?

*phone rings*

It was her, dearest Sophie.

[Me] Can’t you see?

You’ll never imagine 

What I went through again.

It’s watching, hearing, listening, learning

To us, through us, with us

Be careful, you must!

[Her] Calm down, said her voice, once more

‘Tis only your computer

She told me to ignore.

Author's Note

please comment! What do you think?