Guardian Angel

sometimes things happen and we feel all alone but i guess i believe its for a reason

I scream in pain

as more blood drips to the floor

Why arent you helping me?

I fall as i reach for the door.

 

He kicks me again

and i look at your sad face

but you stand there

giving him more space.

 

hes hurting me

and i can see you know

but your head falls down

and you do nothing but dont go.

 

Help! im screaming

i hurt everywhere

the man laughs at my tears

and you just stand there

 

He finally leaves and you neal beside me

i can see the pain in your eyes

but mine are filled with anger

and hatred and demise

 

i needed protection

but you watched without a word

why didnt you stop him

i know you heard

 

You sigh with patients

as understanding covers your face

i had to let this happen

but your pain will erase

 

there is a new place for you

all i need is your hand

i need you to trust me

and frogive me for not taking a stand

 

I do grab his hand

and i see a bright light

he was taking me to safety

were i no longer had to fight

 

he had protected me the only way he could

as i now could understand

he was my guardian angel

he had given me an invisible helping hand

Reviews

[Emily Quinn]

I like how you are telling a story using poetic prose. You start off with a bang, a stanza to keep us interested then continue at that pace until you reach the calming conclusion which settles are appalled minds that instinctively want to scream out "Some gaurdian angel you are!" I guess the message behind this poem is there is a meaning for everything a positive side to all the negative we each encouter far too many tims during our lives. Anyway, I found this to be very simple, very almost amateur (dont take offense- not always a bad thing) It was repetitive with a more basic coice of vocabulary but then again so are many many poems out there in circulation. Overall I enjoyed the read, great job

[Matt Shriver]

This was very good. I did notice a few spelling error. "You sigh with patients" it should be patience. also "where i no longer had to fight" should be where. neal should be kneel. frogive should be forgive. but other then that it was very well written and had a great meaning behind it. well done.

[Dennis Shanaberg]

This is a perfectly put together story, with the dark and dismal beginning only being pervaded by light and hope in the very end. Your description is fantastic, especially in the first couple stanzas, making the reader almost cringe at the things unfolding.
The only suggestions I have are to give it just another read-through out loud: over all, the flow is perfect, but there are few places where it catches, and then there are just some misprints and such which aren't a huge deal, but makes this even better if you catch them (frogive-forgive (3rd to last stanza))...
Amazing write over all though, and keep it up

[Tyler Allen]

Very good. Painful description, nice flow, ties together well at the end. A few mispellings, which isn't a big deal, of course. Great job!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow..this is excellent!

[Alicia Schroeder]

This is an amazing write!!

[Arsenic Nemesis]

This was wonderful, really well written indeed. Such depth and emotion went into this, it's brilliant, keep it up~