enlighten me

sometimes even one answer would be good

enlighten me

tell me what you think

explain your reasoning

while your lies make you sink

 

enlighten me

give me the time of day

tell me your side

that you claim you didnt get to say

 

enlighten me

give me a reason why

defend your actions

reason making her cry

 

enlighten me

please tell me more

believe me im interested

surely it wont be a bore

 

enlighten me

tell me more lies

because i already know what real

truth is evident in her cries

 

enlighten me

i beg that of you

a reason or even an answer

an explanation of any sort would do

 

enlighten me

its the last thing i ask

just tell me why

then in your lies you can bask

 

Reviews

[taylor young]

i can just picture someone saying the enlighten me's very sarcastic and dry.loved it

[Alicia Schroeder]

Hmm.. No one likes to be lied to and being enlightend by more lies is unendearing, but we just alway's want to hear a reason why. A beautiful peice

[Cassandra D.]

this was very good.
I love how you used "enlighten me" over and over in the poem. it creates a good flow in the poem and it makes it very intriguing to read.

[MissWordSmith]

From reading your previous one, I'm assuming this is directed towards your dad.

ABOUT THE POEM : I thought the emotion was angry, enraged, deeply hurt, saddened, furious, overburdened, and devastated. I liked the rhyme, it was simple yet perfect in meter. I think there are a few grammatical mistakes, but nothing big.

ABOUT THE SITUATION: I think that you're concentrating on your mom's (or the woman you refer to, I was just assuming it was your mom) hurt, and using it as an outlet to relieve your own. You say 'her cries' 'reasons for making her cry' but i think you mean 'my cries' 'reasons for making me cry'. I sense that you feel you have to take care of your mum now, you are the one speaking for everyone.
Don't overburden yourself... that road is long, and never-ending. Sometimes i feel like when my parents split I ended up feeling like I had to protect my mum, and brother, but I really didn't have to, it's too hard for a kid. Give her her time, and remember that you need taking care of too, and that it's perfectly alright for you to feel hurt, disappointed, enraged, betrayed.

Take care, keep writing, writing is such an amazing outlet. Sometimes we only make sense of something after we've written it down. Funny, but true.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This would get you some real respect in Slam Poetry readings.
The repetition is violent and strikes with more impact each time.

[Beuastykg]

Very well written, especially that last line, sort of a startling, haunting ending. I like that. I also like that there are no capitalizations in this poem, it makes it unique. The only thing I would change is at line 19, you say "because i already know what real" perhaps you meant "what's real"? Or maybe not. ;) Very good.